Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this employee overstepping?

16 replies

Unbearablescrutiny · 02/05/2025 20:56

I just wanted to get some outside perspective on something that’s been bothering me.

There’s an employee at my local supermarket (she works the self checkouts) who I’ve had a few uncomfortable run-ins with. I usually shop with my 5 year old and with my toddler in his pram, and I’ve noticed she always seems to scan the pram with her eyes, like she’s checking whether I’ve hidden anything or forgotten to scan something.

A few times now, she’s come over and pointed out personal items in the pram (today it was a bottle of sunscreen) to ask if I picked it up in store. The way she asks makes me feel like she thinks I’m trying to steal. It’s really awkward and makes me feel embarrassed, especially when I haven’t done anything wrong. As my partner pointed out, I could just say “no, I didn’t” even if I had, so what is she to gain?

Another time, I realised after paying that I had accidentally picked up two jars of honey but only needed one. I went straight back over to her and handed her the one I didn’t want, explaining the mistake. Instead of saying thank you, she asked if I’d scanned the other jar! It really made me feel like my honesty was being questioned.

She’s done something similar to my partner too on a separate occasion, so it’s not just me. In the end, I’ve started avoiding the place altogether and now usually drive to a different town or go to a different supermarket instead for because I just don’t want the hassle or the judgement.

I get that staff have to be aware of shoplifting, but I feel like there’s a line and I’m not sure if this crosses it or if I’m overreacting. Has antone else experienced this kind of thing? Repeatedly!? Its only this employee and only this store for me..

OP posts:
Smallmercies · 02/05/2025 20:57

So had you paid for two jars or one?

S0j0urn4r · 02/05/2025 20:58

This isn't personal. It's her job to look out for shoplifters.

steff13 · 02/05/2025 20:59

I mean, with the honey thing, I assume she was asking to see if they needed to refund you for one of the jars.

Blackdow · 02/05/2025 21:00

How could you have gone through the check out and paid, and only then realise you were holding two jars of honey but had only scanned and paid for one? You’re sort of proving her point really. You took it out of your basket/trolley and didn’t scan it, and walk off with it. Just lucky you “realised” and took it back.

Eenameenadeeka · 02/05/2025 21:00

Unfortunately I think a lot of people do use prams to shoplift so they have to be aware. I always make sure anything that could be purchased in their store, like the sunscreen, is put away in a bag to save issues like that.

DoRayMeMeMe · 02/05/2025 21:00

Well companies that treat their customers like thieves won’t get any of my money. They claim to be professional, so find a way of doing it that is less accusatory.

BallerinaRadio · 02/05/2025 21:01

Yes obviously this random shop employee has a personal vendetta against you 🙄

Unbearablescrutiny · 02/05/2025 21:01

BallerinaRadio · 02/05/2025 21:01

Yes obviously this random shop employee has a personal vendetta against you 🙄

I never said that, and I don’t think that.

What I feel is that they are overstepping the mark generally, not just with me.

OP posts:
Unbearablescrutiny · 02/05/2025 21:03

Blackdow · 02/05/2025 21:00

How could you have gone through the check out and paid, and only then realise you were holding two jars of honey but had only scanned and paid for one? You’re sort of proving her point really. You took it out of your basket/trolley and didn’t scan it, and walk off with it. Just lucky you “realised” and took it back.

I only picked up a few things so I chucked them in the pram basket, so no basket or trolly. But that is the only time it’s ever happened, and I corrected my mistake. It was just one of those days.

Does that mean I have to be subjected to this every time I use a pram?

OP posts:
CalypsoCuthbertson · 02/05/2025 21:03

She might just be a bit over eager at her job? Probably nothing personal.

Unbearablescrutiny · 02/05/2025 21:04

I just want to clarify that I don’t for a second believe it’s personal.

OP posts:
Jabberwok · 02/05/2025 21:05

Sadly, as the news said this week, shop lifting is at an all time high. The police do nothing. So shops employ people like this woman.

Look on the bright side I worked for a company who supplied stock to small shops, pubs etc...they owned the happy shopper brand if you remember it. The security guard was basically employed to check out our purchases, he never once stopped a customer, but everything we bought we had to show him and the receipt. To blunt they were cunts to work for. My mates mum got sacked for stealing a loaf of bread (which she didn't) in the local pub in front of friends and family!

At least the shop aren't being snide about it

Flightsoffancy · 02/05/2025 21:15

I had to ask a shop assistant in Superdrug to stop following me a little while back. I'm not very brave so she was pretty full on for me to say something. I don't mind being kept an eye on in general, because I'm not going to steal anything, but this was another level. I would walk three steps and stop to look at the shelves and she would also move up three steps, quite close to me and staring hard à la Paddington. I don't know why she chose me; several other people could have been clearing the shelves while I attracted her laser focus. I assumed she was new, or had been pulled up for not being attentive enough.

feelingbleh · 02/05/2025 21:22

Unfortunately the more shoplifting rates keep going up the more everyone will be a suspect. I honestly wouldn't take it personally. If you've done nothing wrong there's nothing to worry about. I think with the honey she was just checking if she needed to do anything like delete the 2nd one off.

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 02/05/2025 21:26

Yes, this would get my back up too. I don’t know why people are suggesting you think they have a vendetta against you - you’ve been clear in your OP that they do it to your DH too, so are very aware it’s not just you. I would just start shopping elsewhere. I appreciate they need to keep an eye out, but most aren’t this excessive. ‘Jobsworth’ springs to mind…

TortolaParadise · 02/05/2025 21:45

‘Jobsworth’ springs to mind…

So does power trip!🤔

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread