Am I antisocial?

[Disco2022]

IABU = yes
IANBU = no crack on

My husband has recently said he's worried that we're going to grow old without any couple friends and he feels that I don't really like being overly social.
For context: I have a 6 year old from a previous relationship that I have 50/50 ISH so he's with us Thursday after school until end of Monday. I'm also 8 months pregnant.
I have 2 or 3 close friends that I see once or twice a month, they don't have children. I am really close to a lot of work colleagues but mostly see them in work and the odd social. I'm early 40s and even when not pregnant struggle to stay up late drinking.
I recently phased out a couple friend we had as they had terrible boundaries and very different parenting styles and it was becoming stressful!

Husband isn't being mean, I think it's a genuine fear, but I work hard all week and love weekends with my son and family (and husbands family sometimes) do I sound abnormally anti social or are his expectations too high?

I think that you are social at a normal level. My parents saw friends less often than that when they had small kids but when my brother and I and their friends' kids became teenagers they all started socialising more.

I think that’s normal at this phase in your life!

You have a young DC, about to have another one - I’d argue most people in the same boat don’t have a glistening social life! I definitely don’t 🤷🏻‍♀️😂
You’re in the trenches of parenting at the moment. From what I’ve seen, via my parents is that social life tends to blossom a bit more when DCs are older and more independant. From my teens, my parents started socialising with their friends who were also parents of teens a lot more often.
Now sister and I are in our 30’s, and our parents (late 50’s) have a way better social life than us 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂 They have friends that they go on holidays with, my mum does bottomless brunch with the wife of one of my dads football teammates every few weekends while the men are playing football. She does an exercise class twice a week that does group social events every so often.
They didn’t do any of those things in their 30’s because they had me and my sister who were still so young.

I think at the moment, being in your 40s and 8 months pregnant with a 6 year old, you're going to feel like nesting rather than socializing much. That's pretty normal.

But, once you're squared away with new baby, I think it's also ok for him to want to do more than just spend the weekend with you and kids. It sounds like he needs more socializing than you do.

I don't think you are antisocial but I don't think it's about that. We all have limited free time and limited social battery so you can't see everyone. I only make plans with people I really care about.

How old is your DH? Seems a bit drastic to me to be worrying about not having friends to grow old with when you're expecting a baby.
Me and my DH don't actually have any couple friends, we have our own friendships. My parents are separated and both single so don't have couple friends. My GPs had very few friends towards the end of their life, they were in an over 50s complex and socialised with others living there but their main relationships were with family.
I think you DH needs to relax a little. Who knows what the future holds. I'm sure there will be plenty more of making and losing friends throughout your lives.

Sounds normal to me. I only have a couple of friends and might see them once a month, maybe twice. Work colleagues we have a social event every few months.
Not sure when your DH thinks you will be doing all this socialising when you have a baby.

Oh by the way, he goes out and sees his friends whenever I don't make him stay in with me!
It's just preferences!

I'm glad I'm kind of normal

DH and I have separate friends, he is friendly with 2 of my friends partners and we've had nights out together/camping trips and days out with the kids but he wouldn't make arrangements to see my friend's partners on their own. He has 2 close friends from school and I'm friendly with their partners when we get together - I like them but wouldn't call them friends as we don't see each other outside of their partners. I don't worry about having couple friends - I like to have coffee/lunch meets and nights out with my girlfriends and have a good catch up. DH gets together with his 2 friends every few months for a night out. We're both happy with the way things are.