To find public displays of parental affection a bit much?

[IcyLurker]

I’m quite reserved and keep my tender feelings for my kids between me and DH. I don’t post about them on social media or go on about them in conversations. I’m just not into that. But I see so many people constantly gushing about their kids online or in person and I wonder AIBU to find it a bit over the top? Or is it just a different way of expressing love?

I find it immensely difficult when I see children being ignored while their parents look at screens, and when I see children spoken to in mean ways. I think this is why there is a saying: Hell is Other People.

I had zero praise or affection as a child, and so I'm very OTT about expressing my love for my dc.

Everyone is different.

I don’t post about my kids (or post at all) on social media and do find that a bit cringe. However, I do smother my kids in cuddles and kisses when I pick them up from school/nursery. (I know one day they won’t want me to so I’m enjoying it whilst it lasts and I want them to know I’m glad to see them).

I am the same as @PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt. I once had a woman tell me she had never seen someone kiss a baby as much as I kissed DS. So glad I did now as he is now 9yo and not a fan of public displays of affection although very physically affectionate still at home.

I think people just express their love in different ways.

There was a post a week or so ago, of someone upset their DH hadn’t made a post on Facebook about their birthday. This would never cross my mind as something to do or expect.

This. Me too!

I think there is a difference between "Tarquin has just past grade 8 viola and he's only 4....Tarquin is so clever he's just read war and peace...Tarquin is such a great footballer he's been selected for England" and people telling you their kids are doing well, made them laugh, said something funny.

Also giving a kids a hug, a kiss , some attention is wonderful. It used to break my heart when I worked next to our local primary and almost every parent came out talking on their phone or looking at the screen completely ignoring their kids...this was in an affluent, middle class area (not where my house is natch)

I don’t ever post about my child on SM, but I’m completely unapologetic about expressing affection for him face to face. One person’s ‘gush’ is another person’s normal. I got no affection from my parents as a child, and they were always mortified by my achievements, and that was a depressing way to grow up.

PDA’s towards DC are OK, it’s the constant performative affirmations that I don’t like very much!

Online is unnecessary. But in person it is very important. Children should know they are loved unconditionally and be told

The world needs more love right now OP, I mean I don't really know about social media but in person, does it really bother you that much?

Are the kids there?
I don’t like kids posted on social media unless it’s a private page with just close friends and family and agree there’s no need for a work colleague to constantly gush about their kids.
but if the kids are around I think it’s a good thing for them them to get attention and hear praise from their parents around other adults

I do find it a bit annoying when there's a massive queue to drop the kids off at the school gate and some parents wait until they are at the gate for the kiss and hug delaying the whole process when they have waited in the queue for 5 mins, do it then. I feel this is a bit of parental performance.

Agreed, Online and in person are totally different things.

My (young) DC are very soothed by touch in unfamiliar or stressful situations so I probably come across really over-cuddly with them when we're out and about.

Loving your children in public is fine.

Gushing over them on social media is exploiting the DC, usually just so Mama can get clicks and likes which the DC never even knows about, are often social media lies "OMG Jake aged 3 just said this profound thing" or celebrating an achievement "Jake just got these results in his A-levels" again for Mama to get clicks and likes and in general, can be quite creepy.

Same. My DM visibly shudders when she sees me kiss my children goodbye or tell them I love them.

I always tell myself that no matter how much I screw up my parenting that day, at least my children know I love tthem. My parents always gave off vibes of indifference at best and dislike at worst and it affected me no end.

People show affection and love in different ways. Just because it's not your way. Its not wrong.

I will put my kids on SM a couple of times a year , birthdays etc but don’t do a gushy post as they can’t read , I will tell my partner at the party what i think of them not in line

I’m very aware of not showing off on line so never post holidays , new cars , kids school report any gifts as it’s just tacky and cringe

but I cuddle the heck out of my kids because when they stop wanting cuddles it’s horrible !

I generally don't care much about kids and parenting, but I enjoy seeing parents giving affection to their child. Acknowledging that a random kid is loved can only improve my day.
I recently stayed with friends and their toddler, his parents were sometimes just lovingly gazing at him and saying "Love you so much" and then back to our convo. Not disruptive, just 100% cute.

I'm lucky to have a ridiculously loving family, I'm pretty sure it gave me a lot of confidence and a sort of 'happiness baseline". Life can sometimes be shit, but at least I never had to question that, I go through life with a comfortable safety net.

Obviously, no need to go on social media for that. But I would never find expression of love over the top.