Grrrrr ...... to expect dh to have done something whilst i was away with the dc's all wkend ...grrrrrrr!!

[mosschops30]

On friday I cleaned the house and did all the washing so he had nothing to do.
I left him a list that comprised of 5 things (because otherwise he'd claim to forget).
These were, iron 3 school shirts, buy a shower curtain, put washing in dryer (1 load) and do some stuff to my car!

Now I wouldve overlooked the car thing because one of the jobs would have taken a while and I knew he was going to an all day party yesterday from 3pm.

However, he has done nothin, absolutely sweet FA and I am sooooo mad . He went round the the party house this morning to help tidy up yet didnt even make the bed here , shirts not ironed, damp smelly washing still in machine, dishwasher full.

He's out on some boat all afternoon, if he knows whats good for him he'll go overboard because it will be more pleasant than coming home to me!!

So AIBU (no i am not )

Well no, in theory of course you're not.

You do, however, have high expectations. When men are left on their own, they see nothing other than what's in front of them.

I have long expected nothing when I'm away - then if anything has been done I'm overjoyed.

Am I being harsh???

but in a nutshell, YANBU

yanbu

leave him for longer next time, lazy git.

as for 'its a man thing' attitude, bollix. what, he can hold down a job but he cant manage to put washing in the dryer? too technical is it? bit patronising to the menfolk i think.

YANBU....although perhaps the list pissed him off? My DH would hate to be left a list and would perhaps not do anything on the list to prove a point.

true
id not do a list if left one.
contrary like that, i am.

Mine would do nothing.

I leave it... life is too short.

Has he gone fishing? maybe he will bring you dinner?

god mine would be under the patio!!! then again he has been known to pass comment while stepping over a pile of washing if i left a list he wouldn't do it "cos i'm not a kid who needs telling" but if i didn't it would be "but you never left a list" methinks someone's taking the piss

he actually asked for a list so that he wouldnt forget otherwise Im not a 'leaving list' type of person.

He just phoned and said he'd be about an hour, I said I wasnt impressed for the above reasons and he laughed and said 'yeah was gonna do it today but came here instead' 'oh its like that is it ta-ra' and hung up

WANKER

sorry, cant help a little laugh.
he sounds like me.

y'all sound like you have quite some social lives... am a bit envious actually

hardly class visiting my mother and visiting sick father in hospital and exciting social life but whatever does it for u

lol
easily pleased!

do you feel better?

what about dh? not at all Im fuming, he still hasnt bothered to turn up. Id think he at least wanted to see his kids before they went to sleep,
given that our marriage is not the safest at present ud think hed make an effort

effing effing effing tosser, swaggers in all tanned and happy. Says Im being completely over the top.
Have ranted and raved to the point where I am shaking with temper (I know this may seem a tad unreasonable but given the last few months of marriage and the restrictions he's slapped on me then I expect mutual respect).

Im now angrily typing on MN and he's sitting on the sofa ignoring me

Still the neighbours enjoyed the show, makes a change from her over the back fence wiping the floor with her dh

Perhaps the list was too short! He feels he's only neglected to do a couple of things so what's the fuss! YANBU, no, but you're not going to win this one, I don't think as he clearly just doesn't get it. My DH is determined not to give me ammunition to bitch about him when I've been away, so he pulls out all the stops (from the DC mainly) to blitz the house before I return.

yes but i did that clam, and blitzed before i went, but the fact that he went to his friends to tidy up this morning but couldnt be arsed to make our own bed has really pissed me off

mosschops, you are not BU

I often leave my DH a list to do if , for example I am working at the weekend. Why not? Blokes do not see what is under their noses.

What I find is he usually completes it better than I could plus a couple of extra stuff that I hadn't thought of eg. clear out the cars glove compartment, clean the block paving etc. So maybe he just has a different eye.

He is very good, but does need "direction". I know that sounds patronising, but it is what it is.

The danger with blitzing beforehand, and leaving lists and the shopping done and meals prepared etc.. (which some people I know have done )is that when you get back, you're greeted with "what's so hard about this SAHM business? It was a breeze."

i was thinking what clam said - that maybe as it was such a light list it was no big deal not to have done it.
and he probably went and helped out there coz no-one was ranting at him there.

dont know the background, and you are alluding to there being quite some of that, so pls dont be offended by my comments - just playing devils advocaate (snowballs!)

no but to not make ur own bed is just plain lazy. Im so angry, irattionally so, its just a total piss take

not to make the bed when he knows you care so much about it, is lazy and inconsiderate i suppose.

i never make the bed [shrugs]