Aibu to get a present?

[Youcanfindmeinthegarden]

Ds (16yo) is leaving his football team after 5 years. The team has been brilliant for Ds in so many ways.

I would like to get a small gift for the coach to say thank you. Just a bottle or some nice chocolates.

Ds thinks that this is very unnecessary and embarrassing. Aibu to do it anyway?

Ds thinks everything is awkward and embarrassing btw.

I would, these coaches give up so much of their time. It will be lovely to show your appreciation

Do it! Put it in a plain brown paper bag or similar to minimise embarrassment for teen tho maybe?

It’s a normal, non-embarrassing (unless you’re a teen) and thoughtful thing to do.

Do it. Don’t even tell your DS. The coach will be made up. Simple card saying ‘Thanks for everything you have done for Jack. He has really come since joining XXX team - we are both going to really miss it. Keep up the good work.

And give it to him with a voucher or bottle of something.

I would leave it up to my child as it would be his team not mine if they said no it would be no I wouldn't overule it

Yes you should do it. A thank you to someone who has given up their own time over a number of years to provide pleasure and enjoyment to your DC is perfectly reasonable. Yes DS might be embarrassed about it, but that's teenage boys for you.

Yes, I think that’s a lovely touch.

I would explain to your son that it's good manners to show appreciation of someone who's given up countless hours of their free time, at the expense of time with their family and their own leisure time, to coach his football team for years. There's nothing embarrassing about a genuine thank you for all your hard work. Then I'd buy the coach a present and give it to him. It would be nice if your son gave a thank you card that he's written himself too. Honestly, don't excuse bad manners as just 'teenage boys' being boys.

This.

I would, yes. And I’d also encourage your DS to thank his coach verbally, too: there’s absolutely nothing embarrassing about showing appreciation for other people’s time and effort - it’s a strong, very admirable and attractive trait for him as a man, to be generous with his gratitude, especially towards other men in his life.

It’s a totally normal thing to do but you might find the boys are doing something as a group if all leaving as aged out so check first. Also give it from your ds and family. Dh is a coach.

I don’t think I’d look to a 16 year old for guidance on etiquette and manners. 😂

Of course it’s fine to say thank you and acknowledge all the time and effort the coach has put in over five years. Your son won’t understand for a couple of decades how formative that time will have been for him.

(Might be a good idea to ask around and find out what the coach would appreciate - drink or something else?)

It’s a lesson for your son. You thank people who have helped you (teacher presents, bottle for a neighbour etc etc) with a token of appreciation or a in smaller situations a card/text. It’s always always best to be the person who gives a thank you!

I work with kids and although I do like the presents, my fave thing to get is a card with a hand written message

Thanks all, I’ve got a card and small gift. There won’t be a group gift afaiak. Ds has agreed but still thinks it’s weird. Although he has said thank you verbally himself.

As a side note, what is it with particularly boys/men and the ‘can’t be bothered’ attitude. Being a mum of boys I genuinely have tried my best to bring them up to be thoughtful. We always did handmade cards for teachers, make an effort for birthdays, have good manners and so on.

As the boys have gotten older they just think everything is ‘weird’.