DH thinks I'm boring

[Overandoveragain100]

I am probably am boring but looking for some perspective I guess

Dh thinks I'm boring. He's currently away on a work trip and has called me boring because I find it difficult/odd/not interested in sexting while he is away or sending pictures etc. He also likes to talk about other people etc and what we'd do. I don't. That makes me boring apparently.

He's also unhappy with our sex life and makes that clear. But we have 3 young children (8, 5, 3), both work full time, I'm early 40's (so is he) so once or twice a week I think is alright (he'd like more)

Probably not true. Men who watch porn want real sex less. Read some of the threads about men being addicted to porn and women never getting any sex because of it.

@Overandoveragain100 you possibly have another 40 or 50 years of this from him. More so when kids leave home… you are both retired.

do you see him getting better with age? Do you see a life together with just the two of you in the house 24/7 once older as something to look forward to if he’s the same way out or his annoying habits have got more ingrained. The moaning. The negativity. The kids rarely visit or bring their families around as he’s miserable…

what changes would you like to see as a couple? Can they happen?

No, no, no op! You are not allowing this!

Having just read your update, I think you would be well within your rights to give your dh a proper talking to over his behaviour which is totally out of order.

Get angry op! I feel absolutely livid on your behalf actually! What a tit he is being!

Be strong, confident and calm op. Do not entertain him turning this around to complain about you! How disrespectful! Tell him “nope, we are talking about your immature whining and moaning now and what a huge turn off it is! “.

Ask him exactly what he thought would happen when you both had three dc together? Did he expect things to stay exactly the same?

Does he really think it’s acceptable that his todger is the first and last thing that preoccupies him when he is away, and not how you are coping with three young dc on your own? And how that demonstrates massive selfishness and immaturity on his behalf!

Tell him straight that you will not be disrespected and called boring when you are looking after his dc.

Tell him in no uncertain terms that it’s time he decides what he wants; does he want a single life of wanking in conference hotel rooms or does he want to feel proud of himself and become the mature, responsible, supportive husband and father that you all need?

Tell him to decide and then either shape up or ship out because you will not be tolerating his complaining any longer and things are hard enough with a young family as it is.

Don’t you dare let him make you feel guilty or inadequate in any way op! Hold your head up high! Find your inner tiger and give him what for!

🤬🤬🤬

Edited to say that the suppressed anger emoticons are for your dh, not for you op, obviously! 😆

Well my peace and quiet has been shattered as he is home

He hadn't even made it through the front door before moaning. I forgot to put the bin away when I got home as had my hands full. 3 kids and appropriate amount of bags plus my stuff, didn't even cross my mind about the bin. Then did dinner, sorted 2 loads of washing and put another on so forgot about the bin and he had to put it away when he got here. Hadn't even made it in the door before shouting (started from outside)

Can't wait for the moaning session later about how I'm not up anything

What a pathetic immature man.

yeuch. What a charmer.

You don’t need this, you know that, yes?

Just tell him honestly you prefer your home without him in it..

Oh no, no, no. You absolutely do not need him, at all. If DH ever dared shout at me for leaving the dustbin out I'd leave it out twice as long the next time.

You need to regain your self respect and start valuing yourself. You absolutely deserve to be treated like a fucking Duchess and acknowledge that your DH is bloody lucky to have married you.

You are not boring because you don't like something he likes- sexting. He is not wrong to want sex more and you are not wrong to want sex once or twice a week.

Needs a kick in the balls about bins. You have definitely had it harder than him as he's been away.

FML. He sounds like a sex pest and bully. Please OP think about leaving this situation. He's not a safe man.

Oh he sounds like a real charmer.

Let's say it like it is. What an absolute cunt! So you've been holding the fort while he is away with work doing everything. Rather than saying thank you for keeping everything going while I've been away I really appreciate it, the first thing he says to you is a moan about a feckin bin? I can see why you don't want to have sex with him or sext with him either. Horrible man. You deserve so much better OP. I think you know it as well or you wouldn't be putting it on mumsnet. You need to put some boundaries in place with him. You need to tell him how he is making you feel and what you aren't prepared to put up with anymore.

Send him pictures of the piles of washing and howling children instead. Can't wait for you to come home and HELP!

Plan for leaving him. He’s an arsehole.

Seeing your update, he's pretty much beyond redemption. Tell him bins are a man's job.

Is he 16, trying to pressure his dp into sex by calling her boring. Maybe you need to be more honest about him. Maybe you would be more in the mood for sex if he helped out more around the home and stopped moaning and you find people who moan really boring.

He's interested in sexting and gossip and whining and he says you're the boring one? And he's shouting at you about a garbage can because you were busy wrangling 3 kids and stuff?

That man needs to go out with the trash because he's a verbally abusive, coercive sex pest.

I wouldn't be having sex with him ever with that rude tude.

It sounds to me as if you’re fundamentally incompatible sexually. It’s not about you being boring; it’s about him being bored. There’s nothing wrong with what he wants sexually. There’s also nothing wrong with you not wanting it.

However, it’s obvious from your other posts that there are clearly issues in your relationship beyond sex. It sounds as if you simply resent and dislike one another at this point. You certainly aren’t making each other happy and I think you need to consider whether there’s any future in this relationship.

Ew, what a sex pest. After all these work trips I’d be getting myself tested and getting my ducks in a row.

Block the bore

The fact he’s moaning about sex particularly while he’s away overnight with work and then being grumpy the second he gets back through the door makes me think something is a bit off. Specifically because my ex did this when cheating and I realised it was his way of making himself feel better about it / less guilty: he’d find something negative to fix on so it was easier to absolve himself of blame. If he missed you, surely he’d focus on a big hug coming through the door rather than the bloody bin. Tell him that when he wants sex. Also, if he moans all the time, tell him you equally enjoyed him being away as it was nice to not have to listen to constant grumbling. It works both ways. You can be just as sick of him. And twice a week despite three small kids is better than most.

Not nice of him