To subsidise dp’s holiday?

[tapr]

I want to go to a specific destination for a week. It’s very pricey, and will cost about £4,000 with flights and food, excursions, especially if we take taxies around. Usually we would spend about £2,000 for a week all in.

I just got a new job and this break is to celebrate that. I know you shouldn’t spend your pay raise but AIBU to think it would be nice/fair for me to say to dh that I would pay £1,000 towards his costs?

So you pay 3k, he pays 1k? Sounds fine I guess but I have consolidated finances with my DP so ‘I’ll pay this, you pay that’ sounds a bit weird to me.

Arent these costs just pooled anyway?

Dp or dh?

Dh

Money's just money in our marriage.

We share it all 🤷‍♂️

What makes you think you might be unreasonable just out of interest?

If you went solo it would prob cost you the £3k. You could work it out.
So financially you're not losing out and you get the enhanced experience of being with someone you love and have beautiful memories to last a lifetime.
If you have children he will need to carry the can a bit at some point in the future.
Go for it.

If you're married, do you still keep your finances separate though? What's he like with money? Is he generous?

And defo do the dream destination while you are younger!

You're married. This is really weird. We have separate bank accounts but just pay for stuff without getting hung up on it.

I earn more than DH so pay more into the joint account we both get the same disposable spending money, we set aside an amount towards holidays each month and by the barrier of how we contribute I pay a higher proportion of that, I don't see it at though I'm doing him a favour. I'm also pickier about where we stay, I was happy with cheap and cheerful when we were younger and pre DC but now I want comfort and a separate bedroom to DC.
I don't see this as you subsidising him