Food at MILs SILs reaction

[Anonymise]

Round at mil’s for a lunch, nice simple food provided, my kids eating then all of a sudden during eating SILS child says i dint like this, so SIL asks for a pizza to be cooked for him in the middle of the family
meal, resulting In disturbance and work for MIL
I think this is appalling behaviour from a mother in front of her family, I would not dream of this. She is a clever, whole food type
mum but has this ghastly attitude around food and self entitlement AIBU?? The kids will eventually have the ‘little prince’ complex due to this parenting I believe

That’s so rude! I wouldn’t dream of doing that to my MIL or even my own Mum! Fair enough the child didn’t like the food but they could’ve given something else that wouldn’t up end the whole meal and mean more work for MIL. Obviously I’m not saying the child should be forced to eat the food if they don’t like to but surely MIL wouldn’t cook food they know GC didn’t like anyway (unless I’ve misunderstood the relationship)

so SIL asks for a pizza to be cooked for him in the middle of the family
meal, resulting In disturbance and work for MIL

If MIL went and did it that's on her. The consequences on the way child grows up are on their parents.

You're right, it's very entitled, but none of it is your business.

I agree with you. It's rude.

Rude. SIL brings her own food for the fussy DC.

It’s rude but more fool your MIL for putting up with her behaviour as it’s not going to change if people continue to pander to her

Wasn't there anything the child would eat? Just leave the bits you don't like on the side.

If she pulled that stunt in my house I’d have told her she was welcome to help herself to the oven to make the pizza.

Feck me not getting the lunch I made and also pandering to her child whilst she sat there. She do less suggesting pizza if it inconvenienced herself.

Is sil, mil’s dd?

Honestly, I’d just mind your own business and not get involved in close family dynamics.

Is it possible there was a whole conversation prior to this happening you’re not aware of? Like MIL running meal ideas past SIL, SIL saying her DC might not eat that, and MIL saying if that’s the case she’ll whack a pizza in?

Maybe or maybe not. It depends on your SIL and MIL’s relationship, and (a bit) on the DC’s age.

I would want everyone to be happy at a family meal. I wouldn’t serve anything that I didn’t know everyone would enjoy but sometimes little kids can be fickle and refuse to eat something that they loved yesterday or because your spag bol is slightly different from mum’s version. I usually have an emergency back up to hand like pizza 😂

It’s hardly any trouble to chuck a pizza in the oven. A hungry, grouchy child is going to spoil a family gathering more than popping out to the kitchen for 2 mins 🤷‍♀️ Day to day rules don’t apply on special occasions in our household. There is a difference between indulging a fussy child every day and letting them have something they will enjoy eating on an occasion where everybody should be having a nice time.

I would be quite happy to cook a pizza for my DGC if they didn’t like the lunch I had made, my DC/DIL know that and would feel comfortable asking, although they would usually offer to do it 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn't do it but she is at her mums, it is a closer relationship than most. Asking her to stick a pizza in is hardly a huge task. Presumably she is choosing her battles and avoiding a tantrum or having to leave early to feed child. Not ideal but not a big issue either.

I think it depends on the relationship between SIL and MIL and the way in which SIL asked for it. If it’s a case of “do you mind if we give DC a pizza instead?” then I don’t think it’s a big deal if MIL is happy to do that.

I wouldn’t feel the need to judge either. For all we know SIL is exhausted from trying to encourage a fussy child to eat and just didn’t have the energy this mealtime to fight this battle.

Disgusting behaviour
We teach our kids 'you eat what you're given in someone else's home and you don't complain'. Dietary requirements apart of course, but this kid and mother are just being brats. Poor MIL

She is a clever, whole food type mum
Since when does pizza count as wholefood?

My child has ARFID and I would never let this happen.

We have taught her it is very important to respect people’s labor and right to eat in peace. She often can’t eat the meal. By age 9 she had the etiquette down. We try to plan ahead and make sure she has already eaten or even bring an alternative, but worst case scenario, she knows to be polite and we get her something immediately after.

Very poor.

At the very least the MIL should have said "Well you know where the freezer is if you want to cook one for him" and let the SIL disrupt her own meal.

But really that is just pandering to fussy eating. She could have told him to just leave what he doesn't like and eat the rest.

You sound extremely angry about it, why is that?

Of course it's rude, but it's MIL problem. I don't know if your SIL is another wife, or the daughter?

A grand-mother is happy to serve food her grand-child will like, is that such a big deal. It's the one place where kids should be spoilt. Mine get away with a lot more at their grand-parents than in my house, pretty normal.

In real life, your reaction would - or should - be different if the "SIL" was your own daughter or your son's wife.

Fair enough to be so uptight in your own house, but if it's your own daughter, you would have been the one raising her in the first place 😂

And for the sake of happy relations, and a small pizza, I would stay pleasant with my own DIL, but maybe that's just me. Some women can't bare the idea of another adult setting foot in THEIR kitchen!

if my adult child did this I’d say I won’t be jumping up to cook something else in the middle of the meal, but you’re welcome to. So this is on the mil- she’s allowed sil to be this entitled.

I think SIL and her DC should both be showing more gratitude. Does she always pander to her DC's wishes?

i'm not sure chucking a pizza in the oven is a massive piece of work? Not ideal for child to midst-meal demand something else to eat but at that point... what is the better option, (not knowing any of the people involved) but potentially having a meltdown ruining everyone's meal? Again, i know nothing of the particulars, but sometimes you need to choose the least-worst option ... child's age also relevant

If my kids didn’t like what was being served they might give it a try then just not eat it. I wouldn’t dream of asking my MIL to provide anything ruse, but if it was my own mother I’d probably have asked her before I went what she was planning on serving, though my kids were happy to eat most foods.

It is her business as they are there, together for lunch.

OP's dc will be watchig and noticing that if they kick up a fuss at what is being offered, then Grandma will cook them something they fancy more.

that's not a message I would have wanted my dc to be receiving.

It wouldn't bother me - not my kids, not my house, not my problem! If MIL is happy to cook him a pizza that's up to her.

It does sound a little rude yes but can’t have been a massive hassle to put a pizza in the oven - assuming your MiL wasn’t kneading dough etc! Did your SiL insist it was cooked right away or did she ask if there was any chance her child could have a pizza, and your MiL jumped up to do it immediately? Could be rude, could be the kind of informal thing that is totally fine and normal in some families.