Is this lay in fair ?

[Sleepyweepy]

I’m chronically ill and struggle with fatigue so during the night I never wake up when baby crying as I’m in such a deep sleep this has only happened since we moved baby into own room. I did suggest we move baby back so I could do some of the nights as when baby is next to me I wake. Husband said not to as baby sleeps 10x better when in his own room. when 7 month old wakes in the night my husband gives him milk and he instantly goes back to sleep this all takes about 5 minutes. As he’s got up in the night I take baby down stairs once he’s up and my husband lays in bed for an hour or hour and a half. Trying to work out what’s fair is waking up once in the night = to a lay in that long. He’s woken me up in the night sometimes when I don’t hear baby but he said it was silly as he’s already awake. I’ve been very upset over the fact I don’t wake up for him as I thought my motherly instinct would set in. It also means when baby naps I can’t nap as I’m so worried about not waking up which is a shame as I could really do with a nap sometimes. I’ve managed to nap on the sofa with baby next to me in the pram and baby monitor next to him with the speaker by my ear just incase.

I would take sleeping all night in a solid block over laying in any day, wake ups in the night completely ruin my sleep. I think you are getting the better end of it.

I'd say it's fair, if baby wakes every night, and he gets up every night, then he never gets a whole night undisturbed sleep so at least a bit of extra sleep is helpful. Agree that the person who doesn't get woken up gets the better deal!

Yes that is fair. Broken sleep every night is no joke. His lie-in is completely fair.

Yes it’s fair. Mine were bf and I did all nights so DH has always got up more in the morning. We alternate lie ins at the weekend but for a long time I had broken sleep and DH didn’t think twice about letting me catch up as much in the mornings. Can you nap at the weekend if you need to?

we split it that you either do wake ups or lie in (and a lot longer than you’re talking about!). Unbroken block of sleep is far preferable to any amount of lie in.

If you got more sleep on the mornings, would you wake in the night?

Definitely fair. If you're tired, go to bed earlier in the evening when the baby does!

@TheNightingalesStarlingyes I think so the days I have managed a nap say if my sister pops over I have woken in the night. I also do the nights when I’m in chronic pain and can’t sleep but I don’t get a lie in on those nights

Yes it’s fair, or I’d even say you’re getting the better deal. It’s tough getting up in the night and even if baby settles quickly, it may take DH a while to get back off to sleep once he’s been up and alert making bottles, feeding etc. I rarely managed to get straight back to sleep.