To think my neighbour should have said something when my pushchair was being stolen?

[LostShepherdsPie]

I work part-time, and today was my day off. I had a lot to get done, and by the time I got back from the supermarket, I had shopping to unpack and a very hungry, tired 16-month-old son. I quickly put the shopping away and left the pushchair just outside the front door. It was a sunny day, and I intended to bring it in once my son had fallen asleep. Yes, I know it's not wise to leave a pushchair outside but it was so sunny and I thought it'd be fine.

Unfortunately, everything took longer than expected, and I ended up falling asleep with him, completely exhausted.

Our nap was cut short by the doorbell ringing. I checked my phone and saw that my next-door neighbour’s two young daughters were at their doo and a man ringing my doorbell, who I assumed was their dad. I came downstairs and answered the door within a few minutes, but no one was there. A few moments later, I realised the pushchair was missing.

I went next door to ask my neighbour if she knew what they had wanted or if she knew anything about the pushchair. To my surprise, she said the man who had knocked wasn’t her partner but someone who had asked if he could take the pushchair. Rather than tell him that it belonged to me, that I use it regularly, or even suggest that he check with me first, she just said she didn’t live there.

She even admitted she’s seen me using it often and thought it was a nice pushchair— and she said she thought I might have been giving it away for free. Why would I give something I use every day away?

Am I wrong to think that she could have said something? Even a simple, “That belongs to my neighbour,” or “You should wait till she answers the door or come back later " would have made a difference. I don’t understand why she didn’t speak up or try to stop it from being taken.

Its an ickle bubba pushchair, it's not cheap and I've only really used it for a year, in the grand scheme of things it may not be a big deal but as a non-driver that pushchair is what I rely on to get out and about with my son.

Yes she could have intervened but a lot of people just can’t be bothered getting involved in other people’s business and she thought you were maybe giving it away.

We aren’t living in a cohesive society and that’s leading to more people just sticking to their own life and their own issues.

Has he entered your property to take it or did you leave it on the street?

Do you have local Facebook pages? Post on there asking for it back if they are on the page and see the post. You can put up a photo of the man from your doorcam.

Can you blur out the kids faces, post on local social media and ask if anyone knows the man? You might be able to get it back.

Follow up to previous post, you could also post on 'Nextdoor' if you have that in your area.

In my neighborhood, there is an accepted etiquette that anything left at a certain spot outside of the home is available to be taken. We all give away things regularly. It’s pretty obvious though as we have long walkways to our doors so nothing up near the house is available.

Some people leave things outside so people can take them for free, usually on walls. Pushchairs it's obvious it's for ease of getting indoors with a baby or toddler, I did this all the time! He should have checked.

How annoying for you!!!
But neighbour couldn’t have possibly known if you got a new one / decided to ditch buggy for a tricycle etc. Not really her fault. People do leave stuff outside for people to take. I will never leave our pram for that reason, I’ll cram it in the house even though I’ll break my neck trying to get past it to get inside but I’m not tempting anyone.

You're not being unreasonable but your neighbour's response is the kind of thing I might do on a day when I'm not fully on the ball. I can't explain why, sometimes I respond very factually to things without thinking of the bigger picture. I'd be kicking myself afterwards though.

Your neighbour should've said something stronger. She sounds a bit useless.

Plenty of people leave things by their front door when busy. It's on your property so people shouldn't be taking things unless there's a sign indicating it's free for removal.

I'd post on FB saying the pram was stolen from your front step. You could mention just the it might have been a misunderstanding but I'd still put the man's picture up saying he looks to be connected with its disapperance. He should've checked properly, not just asked a useless neighbour.

so you don’t even know who her partner is but you expect her to know how often you use a pushchair and intervene to protect property that you didn’t take care of properly for yourself? And you say you answered “within a few minutes” which is actually a long time, and long enough for him to have given up and knocked next door to check instead?

YABU, sorry. It’s not like she said to him to take it - she confirmed it was nothing to do with her and she didn’t live at the address he wanted to speak to. That’s fair enough tbh. Not her circus.

First, you need to report the theft to the police.

Secondly, jump on local socials with the video and say that the theft has been reported to the police, ask if anyone knows the thief.

That's shit, what a massive pain! I'd get some posts up on social media -do you have CCTV or ring doorbell footage? Or would anyone opposite or next door? I'd also report it as stolen.
I wouldn't be particularly angry with the neighbour. She was right -it isn't her pushchair or house. She has no idea what you were doing with the pushchair. It's not her fault it was left outside, nor that someone took it. Your anger should be towards one person only; the man who took without asking.

Keep in inside people steal things it is up to you to protect them not your neighbours

This.
agree your neighbour is a bit daft but she’s not to blame - the thief is.

“Yes, I know it's not wise to leave a pushchair outside but it was so sunny and I thought it'd be fine.”

This sentence makes absolutely no sense. What has the weather to do with it??? Are all crimes in your area committed by vampires?

Surely ppl would know they can't take it so know they are stealing it. As for the neighbour some ppl stay out of anything not to do with them

Rain-loving vampires? Makes no sense to me either.

It seems like you're directing your anger at the wrong person here (to the extent of starting a thread about her). Rather than focusing on what she did or didnt say, it's the cheeky fucker who stole it you should be putting your energy into. As others have said report the theft to police and on local forums and hopefully you'll get it back.

He clearly didn’t think he was stealing it, though, if he actually rang the OP’s doorbell to ask if he could take it, and spoke to her neighbour when she didn’t answer! I mean, he made a dopey, unwarranted assumption, but he doesn’t seem to have been an intentional thief?

He didn't have the owner's permission to take it but knowingly did so. Dopey or not, it's stealing.

Did you go inside, close your door and leave your pushchair on the footpath/street? For quite a long time?
Near me it would probably get stolen anyway, a bike definitely would.

Definitely not your neighbours fault and it sounds like the person who took it may genuinely have believed it was being left out as it was no longer wanted.

Actually I think you have to have a dishonest intention to permanently deprive for it to be theft.
A genuine belief that you have the right to take something means it is not theft!

No, intention matters in theft, as a pp said. He appears to have genuinely thought it had been left out for passersby to take. I’m assuming it was actually out on the footpath, rather than in the OP’s front garden…

I agree with this. Society is fragmented now. You can't trust people so you stick to your own. This is definitely how I feel.

That said, you could post on a local facebook group or nextdoor or something like that with a photo of the pushchair and a photo of the man with his face blurred, saying what happened - that the neighbour was unsure whether you were giving it away, but in fact, it was just left outside whilst you were exhausted and you need it for your 16mo.