To persevere or not?!

[Tiredtweenmum]

My nine year old DS hasn’t learnt to ride a bike. This is not through lack of us and him trying but his anxiety gets in the way every time. We use lots of praise and reassurance and have tried offering a treat but he tries and then gets worried about possibly falling off and refuses to carry on. He is possibly ND but it’s unlike him as sports and being active is his obsession so we were surprised by this anxiety!
He wants to learn as his friends can all do it.

Any tips or should I just leave it? He’s been trying to learn since he was four and I’m not sure if I should keep trying?!

https://www.bikeability.org.uk/find-cycle-training/

Have you tried taking the stabilisers off, having the seat set low and letting him use it as a balance bike. This way he would learn what it feels like to balance and hopefully gain the confidence to use the pedals. My son didn’t learn until he was six or seven. Balance bikes weren’t a thing then but I’m sure it would have helped him at the time.

https://www.sustrans.org.uk/our-blog/get-active/teach-a-child-to-ride-a-bike-without-stabilisers-in-nine-steps/

Does he have stabilisers...those little wheels either side of the rear wheel? They stop falling, initially they run along the ground keeping the bike up right. Then you raise them slightly so there's more need to balance. Then a bit more, before removing them. By then he should be able to balance ok.

I taught my wife to cycle in her 30s by holding the handle bars and back of the seat and walking with her...it took 2 minutes, we did it on a grass field so she couldn't pedal fast and felt ok.about falling

Actually local to us there is a company who teaches kids to cycle. There may be one near you. A stranger may make the difference

Helmet, knee and elbow pads and gloves!
Our girl decided she wanted to ride a bike and just did. She fell off and hurt her hands and lost her confidence. We got her bike gloves and it was like magic.
I think a lot of the time it's the fear of hurting themselves

Don't leave it, show him that persevering brings its own rewards.

Did you really just mansplain what stabilisers are? And how to teach a kid to ride a bike? OP did say she’d been trying since he was 4, I’m fairly certain she would have tried this old trope of how to ride a bike. 🙄

Take the pedals off and go the balance bike route.

The OP did ask for tips 🤷‍♀️

@Tiredtweenmum in the spirit of offering tips 😁 As a kid I failed 2 efforts to learn to ride a bike. The first was my dad teaching me and the second by my mum. I was desperate to learn but either of those two teaching me was doomed to fail so I begged a visiting aunt to teach me. I knew it was my last chance to learn so I persevered through crashes and tears and finally cracked it.

Do you have a someone else who can give it a go?

In my case my parents had no patience. I’m sure you have wayyyyy more than they did. But sometimes it just clicks with another person.

Hay I don't know if kids bikes still come with stabilizers...plus I saw A dad who thought just telling his daughter to push down with each foot was a great way for her to learn a couple years ago.

I was covering the basis, maybe the op hadn't run both stabilizers along the ground...how the fuck would I know

Thank you. Sorry I should have been clearer. The stabilisers are off (he was worried that someone would see him with stabilisers 🤦🏻‍♀️) but without them on it’s like he almost forgets how to pedal or anything as the worry takes over.
Trying someone else is a good idea. That’s how my daughter finally learnt how to tie shoelaces! A child at a campsite taught her and she mastered it in seconds!

Is he maybe dispraxic and just taking a little longer than most?

Great bit of mansplaining there.