Hi
I am married to my second husband for 8 years, together for 17. With both have children fro previous marriage.
My so left home I moved into my then partner, now 2nd husband as his twin girls were only 9. I was made redundant in the crash of 2008. I rented my house put to cover the mortgage, and helped taking the girls to school etc , and did lots of temp jobs. 2011 I collapsed, and was found to have a neurological condition on MRI scan. I had to stop working. My symptoms have deteriorated slowly over the years. After 5 years my husband agreed to sell both houses and move to a bigger house. He refused to move to mine, even though it was bigger. The twins didn't want to move to any house. The house was cramped , small, and no storage etc. It drove me mad. We had all the girls clothes in our room as previously the parents had allowed this. I had enough, and my health and teenage years did not mix well. I am adult enough to say it must have been difficult for the girls. I left this house and moved back to my house. Relationship was very strained. I get kids come first, and understand why he went back on our plan, but the resentment was there why did he agree in the first place. Perhaps to placate me.
When the girls were old enough he moved into my house and girls stayex at his house and obviously see them every day or so.
The second let down, is my husband has decided after our holiday in 2023 to grrece islands, he couldn't stand the stress of the airport, and so no he wouldn't be going with me on holiday. I had a non epileptic fit at the airport, and my husband was held at machine where they check your hand luggage, my meds were with him. He got to me but it had kicked in, and I had another one the plane. I did have some meds with me, and started to take them but was stopped by staff, I said I need to take these or I be really not well. So husband has decided no he cannot go on holiday because of the stress of the airport. I had no say, and couldn't drag him there, and thought if you feel like this I am not sure I wznt you with me.
The latest intervention is I have a second charge on my property. I have been paying them what I can from my income. Now they want it paid off in six years, and husband has said he will pay the extra as he has recently remortgage his house. I think hang on, Iam in a house which I am finding it hard to keep clean. He says he do it at the weekend, but it is usually the bed changed a hoovering wooden floor downstairs. I am feeling I have lost enough independence and to be listened to. He wants to stay in my house now, but I want to downsize and have a downstairs loo. The kitchen is crumbling away, and I feel if he pays this we never get the kitchen done. I am not asking for Buckingham place, but damp is lifting the worktop and inner cupboards. Our bathroom needs a bit of work.
I said last night wow, I am not rushing into anything, and have seen a 2 bedroom house with a garden and downstairs loo, and kitchen is done. With the no go holiday and if he is paying £300 a month, which I appreciate, but my pride and also we will be left with absolutely no money. I have been in hospital in March with pneumonia and sepsis, and needed a iron infusion. I am still recovering and short of breath and fatigued. I was i for 3 weeks, I am in my 50s but actually felt so fearful in hospital. Had to pass a physio assessment and doctors had to talk to my husband. I am grateful I had a lovely doctors and nurses and on9w they have a duty of care, but I feel scared . I am wish I could go on holiday on my own. I used to have a career, social life, friends, independence, and yes shit happens, but I had more tha my fair share. I have a gut feeling that I want to move and it is going to lock horns again.