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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so homesick

8 replies

Hannakarinina · 29/04/2025 17:11

I am away with my elderly widowed mother for 6 nights and I’ve left teens at home with DH. I’m desperately homesick for them which seems insane but it feels so long.

Im not previous, travel with work and have left them since they were a year old for work but this just feels very long. Am I being ridiculous ?

OP posts:
Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 29/04/2025 17:12

How far away from them are you?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/04/2025 17:13

You feel how you feel, that’s never unreasonable.

But you would be unreasonable to cut short the trip. You need to just trust your DH to look after the teens (assuming no massive backstory) and concentrate on having a nice time with your Mum. Or at least letting her have one!

Original poster
Hannakarinina · 29/04/2025 17:14

Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 29/04/2025 17:12

How far away from them are you?

Couple of hours flight - in Europe so not terribly far

OP posts:
Original poster
Hannakarinina · 29/04/2025 17:15

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/04/2025 17:13

You feel how you feel, that’s never unreasonable.

But you would be unreasonable to cut short the trip. You need to just trust your DH to look after the teens (assuming no massive backstory) and concentrate on having a nice time with your Mum. Or at least letting her have one!

That’s exactly what I need to do. I’m obviously not moping or letting DM know how I feel

OP posts:
JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 29/04/2025 17:15

You feel how you feel! It's not ridiculous or wrong...but do try and enjoy yourself (if its a holiday). I went away with my mum last November for 11 days and loved every second. I still missed DH and my two teens, but they were absolutely fine and it was great to see them when I got home. Don't feel guilty about enjoying yourself.

Original poster
Hannakarinina · 29/04/2025 17:21

JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 29/04/2025 17:15

You feel how you feel! It's not ridiculous or wrong...but do try and enjoy yourself (if its a holiday). I went away with my mum last November for 11 days and loved every second. I still missed DH and my two teens, but they were absolutely fine and it was great to see them when I got home. Don't feel guilty about enjoying yourself.

Thank you. It’s hard balancing elderly parents and teens but important to give parents the time

OP posts:
Endofyear · 29/04/2025 19:38

Ask yourself why you feel this way - 6 days is not very long! Is it because you're abroad and feel anxious about being so far away? Is it because you don't trust that DH will be able to keep the peace/keep everyone happy/stay on top of their needs and moods?

I think as mothers we take on so much of that mental load of keeping a happy household, keeping an eye on teens and making sure they're sleeping/doing schoolwork/managing friendships and relationships... it's a lot. Generally I think men are better at switching off and once they're out of the house they're thinking about work and their own stuff and not all the mental juggling that most women do!

If this is the source of your anxiety, keeping in touch with your teens via text might reassure you as well as having a catch up with DH of an evening and checking in with everyone. Try and let go of any worrying and enjoy the time with your mum - this is precious too.

verycloakanddaggers · 29/04/2025 19:44

It's not unreasonable at all! You love your kids, you love your home.

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