ex demanding his child maintenance back and making threats to receive it back

[mamaofgirls5]

hi i dont know where else to post this to remain anonymous but i am autistic and my ex used to take my money when we were together i got £300 a week and he used to take £250 off me and would kick off and smash my house up if i didnt give him it. we split up and i went to child maintenance because of my family saying he was legally obligated to pay for his children. from the minute i claimed it he sent abuse got his family demanding his £40 a month back and his girlfriend demanding it back. ive closed the claim because i dont want the hassle off them all but hes now forcing me to send the child maintenance back and hounding me daily, threatening me ive sent £100 of it back and i havent told my husband ive done this i just dont know what to do. he doesnt see his kids either and doesnt provide for them hes basically disowned them now but hes still demanding it back and threatening me for it back. any advice i dont know what to do i think i just need to talk to someone about it but i have no friends. x

Take the messages to the police and CMS. Threatening people isn't legal.

Speak to your husband, he should be supporting you, he can't if he doesn't know whats going on.

Police

i need to speak to my husband about it ive gone about it the wrong way i just wanted my ex to leave me alone so i paid him £100 back i think i will contact child maintenance tomorrow and speak to them about whether i should be paying it back, thank you xx

Police police police police police. Do it now

No you should not be paying it back! Not a penny more! £40 a month is a pittance anyway but he's legally obligated to support his children. Please tell your husband, to get his support, and reinstate the claim. Any harassment, go straight to the police. What he's doing is illegal, not to mention morally abhorrent.

He is legally obligated to pay for his children, whether he sees them or not.
Take the messages as evidence of his harassment to the police.

Why did you stop the claim. He can threaten you all he likes, he is legally obligated to pay. If he threatens, go to the police.

And talk to your husband.

This is a police matter.

op, when he took your money in the past he was committing a crime. Him threatening you now so that you give him his CM back - also a crime.

you must call the police, he won’t stop till he’s forced to.

Please go to the police and show them the messages, also inform them of your autism as it may make you more vulnerable and the police should consider this. Your ex is totally out of order.

Police first to report the threats and harassment. Then CMS to reopen the claim and legitimately claim for the children HE should be providing for.
Do not respond to his threats, and just block him.
But please OP, do not give him a penny, and ensure he pays towards the upkeep of the children he helped bring in to this world.

What he’s done is against the law. He is breaking the law. Get the police involved now. You’re not with him now - please find support because you’re clearly still terrified by him and doing what he orders you to do.

He has no power over you - unless you give it to him.

Try to think about this differently - your DC deserves the money. Get the money for your child. Do it for your child.

Your family are right. You are right. He is wrong. He should pay. He shouldn't be asking for the money. The money is for his children.

Seriously? Don’t pay it back. Contact CMS. Contact police.

You shouldn't be paying child maintenance back. Report ex to police he is threatening you and this is illegal. Also tell your DH what is going on.

Why is he demanding the money he’s supposed to be paying for his children that he helped make?

Have the courts or CMS ruled this?

He is manipulating and threatening you and trying to maintain the control he had over you. Block all their numbers and show to the police. Threatening and coercive behaviour are illegal.

Tell your husband what’s going on and do not give your ex anymore money back.

Stay safe OP 💐

Hang on, if he's only paying you £40 a month, why did you send him £100?

What threats did he make?

If he doesn’t see the children at all then I think that you should:

report the threats to the police
reopen the maintenance claim and tell cms about the threats
block him on everything

Police. Go to the police.

Please take the messages to the police. They are the best people to deal with someone like him and can get you a restraining order if the messages prove he was threatening you for money. Also speak to your current husband, it is unsafe for both of you for you to keep him in the dark about this. Good luck.

Report to police and tell your husband.

What happened when you were with him was financial abuse. He seems to think he can get away with it. He can't, it is an offense. Report him to the Police and re-open your claim. Does your husband know you were abused? Please talk to him.