Ex H not paying maintenance

[Hol12]

Afternoon,

Background info on situation. Ex H & I split over 3 years ago, divorced around 18 months ago. We have 2 DD 14 and 9. After some initial teething problems finding a routine that suited us all we settled on 50/50 with the girls and things went fairly smoothly until late last year. DD9 was unhappy going to Dad's on his weekdays as he works long ish hours and she doesnt get on with SM who was looking after her after school until Dad got home. After a lot of upset from DD we finally agreed that she would stay with me on all weekdays and go to Dad's every other weekend. Ex was unhappy with this and took a lot of perusasion but but eventually agreed for the sake of her happiness in November 2024. I never asked for child maintenance from him based on the fact it was not his choice and he hoped it would be temporary. However we're now 5 months in and DD is very happy with how things are and doesn't want to change back to original arrangements. I decided to ask Ex for a small financial contribution based on the fact that I have her 80% of the time. He has gone absolutely mad, shocked at my request, can't believe I've asked and it's an absolute no, he has the children this coming weekend and he's saying he's going to talk to DD and she will be going back to him 50/50 as per original arrangement.
Im really upset that he's willing to put money before DD's feelings. Does she have any rights at 9 years old to have her views validated?
For context, DD14 still happy enough to go to Dad's although also doesn't get on with SM, she does a hobby both weekdays they are at Dad's so doesn't affect her as much.
I live in the village where DD goes to school, I am at home every day after school. She can walk to friends houses, park etc with friends. Dad does only live 5/10 minute drive away but she doesn't have friends there.

AIBU- because it wasn't his choice and he would like her 50/50 I shouldn't have asked?

Yes great points to consider thank you for that perspective

Be careful OP because normally you're supposed to only get CB for one child and him for the other. How much are you getting for one child and does that correspond to the sum you would ask him to contribute with for DD9? If yes, YABU.

I wouldn't want to rock the boat if you're not willing for him to "force" your DD to stay at his 50%. If I were you I would call him and tell him you have reconsidered and won't ask for anything. Put your DD first.

Right but maybe that could be trialled as a compromise. He still sees her when he gets back from work and time with the SM is limited

Why does he think he shouldn’t be paying for her? He needs to listen to his daughter, maybe take on board both his children don’t like SM

I’m in a similar situation OP and haven’t yet raised it as I think my ExH will react much the same as yours.

My DD is a bit older (young teen) and doesn’t want to have anything to do with SM. Her dad takes her out every other weekend with a view to her spending more time at his again but she’s adamant that won’t happen whilst SM is there so I can’t see it changing anytime soon. I have noticed an increase in my bills particularly water and food.

Pretty sure this isn’t the case and child benefit can’t be split like this with 50:50 arrangements.

@1SillySossij it's been five months! It's not like the DD didn't go one weekend and OP is trying to change the CMS amount. The fact is, with the cost of living, that extra child maintenance could be much needed. Reality is that this is the current arrangement and the CMS payments need to reflect that.

He will then go for 1 lot of child benefit