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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

6 year old emotional outburts

8 replies

ER1992 · 29/04/2025 11:03

I'm looking for help and other people's experiences with having a 6 year old who has emotional outburts.

My son who is 6, turns 7 in October still has tantrums/emotional outburts.
These are usually contained to at home. He enjoys going to school, is happy at school and behaves well and having spoken to the school about his outburts they've said its not something he's ever shown in school. He also goes to Beavers and swimming club and again behaves well.

His outburts at home tend to start with him not getting his own way over something, he will go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds and the rage takes over him, he will lash out at us, tries to hurt us, his brother, throws things and screams to the point I worry neighbours would think we are hurting him.
He is very strong and we struggle to move him to a safe space (his bedroom usually) for him to calm down. There's nothing we can do to calm him down and getting angry with him makes him worse. Sometimes they can go on for up to an hour. He's always had this problem since he was a toddler but the older and stronger he's getting it feels the worse they are getting and as parents we struggle to know how to handle the outburts. They don't happen every day but I would say over the course of a week we'd get 5 out 7 days on average with and outburt.

When he's with friends we have no problems and if we have a family day out or we are doing something where he's kept busy he is as good as gold and from an outsider looking in you'd never know he has these outburts at home.

Is this something that's normal? Will he grow out of it eventually? Or is there more too it and we should be seeking help?

OP posts:
KarmenPQZ · 29/04/2025 14:55

100% normal in my experience. Not sure if that will help you or not or even if it’s what you want to hear. My son just turned 7 and has big emotions. He can (mostly) hold it together at school, certainly no hitting / pushing there but his teacher does say he’s very emotional and gets upset regularly - maybe not quite daily. But at home the emotions sometimes manifest in pushing and hitting, especially his big sister and also me/dad.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it as I’m sure he’s still learning to deal with his emotions.

KarmenPQZ · 29/04/2025 14:59

To add I’d say the fact that he can and knows to behave in school / with others is a good thing. Closest relatives get the worst behaviour as it’s when kids let the barriers down most…. Don’t have to conform as much… feel safest. It’s a good thing but they need to be able to also learn how to keep it together in those situations eventually too. But that takes longer.

xx

QuickPeachPoet · 29/04/2025 15:01

Sounds like you are doing ok. Removal to a safe space and ignoring until he is ready to use his words, as is appropriate for his age. And make sure you get an apology for anyone he has thumped over the course of his tantrum.

Zanatdy · 29/04/2025 15:02

My DD had terrible tantrums when younger, maybe not as old as 6, but she would have a tantrum for 45 mins min. You couldn’t go near her. She is 17 now and been a dream teen, never caused me any problems. She just grew out of it.

HamptonPlace · 29/04/2025 15:10

look into PDA but he's a bit young perhaps . All that being said, 6 years olds have meltdowns i wouldn't be overly concerned right now... nothing can medically be ascertained at this age....

WhereIsMyJumper · 29/04/2025 15:22

Just to chime in with my experience (you asked if this is normal)

It may be within the range of normal but I have never had this problem with DS who is a year older than yours. I can probably count on one hand the number of meltdowns he has had in his whole life. Trying to hurt you is not OK. Have you noticed any triggers? Does it happen more when tired/hungry? Are there some things that don’t set him off and others that do?

overthinker001 · 29/04/2025 15:54

I could have written this. My son is 6 and will also be 7 in October and we are having the exact same issue. Although he does sometimes show this behaviour in school on a rare occasion.

I don’t have a solution for you but if I find one I will let you know. Was just posting to say you’re not alone 🫶🏼

ER1992 · 29/04/2025 18:05

Thank you all for the responses so far. Really helpful and knowing that there's other people out there in the same boat really help. I have felt it's a bit of a taboo subject so being able to hear other views anonymously is great help

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