Nosy neighbour?

[Melsy88]

Moved in to house 3 years ago - my neighbour (other half of my semi) is nice but very over-bearing.
Examples:

1. Every time I sit in my back garden she'll appear at her upstairs bedroom window and want to chat.
2. Every time I go out to garden in the front garden she'll come out to say hello and chat.
3. I came home the other day and she came out concerned that she'd heard my dog bark and wanted to check I was ok as she saw my car up the road and my washing on the line so thought I must be home but the dog doesnt usually bark when i'm home (car was parked the other end of the street as I don't have driveway)
4. Texts me to check i'm ok if she doesnt see me for 24 hours
5. Texts me to ask about shopping i've bought that shes seen me carry into my house
6. Comes into my garden (it's all open at the front) to check my flowers and sometimes prunes my roses if she thinks i'm not doing a good job.

etc etc.

as you can see it's all nice, kind things - i just find it too much!

She's also said for a while that she'll have my dog over when her cats pass away. One recently died and the other is very old. I saw her yesterday and she said to be "i'll be borrowing your dog when the cat goes to kitty heaven". I really dont want this set up, but don't want to cause awkwardness as I think her heart is in the right place. Any ideas for a response next time she brings it up?

AIBU and is she just a nice friendly neighbour?

I’d be annoyed too but she’s being kind, just lacking boundaries and social skills. Probably can’t stand being alone and assumes you the same. I’d make a point of chatting to her for a few minutes whenever is convenient to you so that it’s easier when she calls you from the window to say sorry that you have a bit of work to finish or calls to make. Just say you like pruning your own roses.

She seems like a kind old lady or someone whose kindness comes with toxic traits. You need to set some boundaries, worse thing you can do is raise her hopes and make her plan and then you say no. You need to tell her that you don’t want your dog confused and train him not to go into her garden etc. Maybe when you say no you could hand her the pamphlet (or website) of a local dog shelter etc??

As for the constant chatting and the pruning of the roses you need to nip that in the bud… something like ‘oh hi there Agnes, just popped out to the garden for some me time’ or ‘thanks Agnes, i was looking forward to pruning the roses myself, is it okay to please leave that for me next time?’

Let's maybe not use a gentle parenting tactic on a toxic old woman. "oi, Agnes, stay away from my rosebushes" shouldn't have to simper and ask these types nicely.