Fed Up With Husband

[TheCoralMoose]

My husband who is much older goes out nightly to a bar its been going on years.

When he gets home from work he eats goes for a bath in the bath for two to three hours.
Gets out aftershave dressed out to bar.
What would anyone else think?.

That he's a total arse who doesn't care, has disengaged, and thinks of you as the maid/cleaner/cook/nanny/general staff.
What does he actually contribute to your life?
I'd be making plans to dump him, although if you wait a while, you can catch him at it with someone else and it will be in your favour during divorce.

He pulled a young lady and thinks he can do it again? When they show you who they are the first time, believe them.

What would anyone else think?

They would think, 'fuck this for a game of soldiers', then they'd give him him marching orders.

Surely?

What would you want to live with this set up?

Why would it go in my favour?.

That you're a mug. You asked.

When he gets home from work he eats goes for a bath in the bath for two to three hours.
Gets out aftershave dressed out to bar.

This isn't a marriage. It sounds like a bed and breakfast. Get some self respect and consult a solicitor.

Will I get half of the property and his savings?.
Im not on the deeds.
Apartment is worth about two hundred and sixty thousand.

Probably unless the marriage is short.
A solicitor can best advise you.

24 years.

You will get half probably more if there are dependent children.

Id leave and start living my life and wouldnt even bother wasting my time trying to work out who he is shagging or trying to shag.

Good luck...

Didn't you post about this guy yesterday? The taxi driver told you he was in the car with a woman? Just leave him.

To be fair, we don't know that she does any of these things. But I would dump in regardless.

Saw that but must have missed something as I don't see any similarities.
I was convinced it was his sister on that thread BTW..
@TheCoralMoose I wouldn't put up with that for 5 minutes. You're wasting your life on a barfly? Or does he have redeeming qualities?

Because he can't badmouth you to all and sundry putting the blame on you. He'd be proven to be "in the wrong" for want of a better phrase.
He might even get a sudden attack of conscience, and agree to a more favourable settlement - you never know!

Men who have baths give me the ick. 2-3 hours wallowing in the bath?! That's madness.

Men who have baths give me the ick. 2-3 hours wallowing in the bath?! That's madness.

Men who have baths give me the ick. 2-3 hours wallowing in the bath?! That's madness.

Both husbands are much older than the OP and go to the bar every day.

I'd say he probably doesn't want to be around you.

Somewhere on DadsNet he's probably posting how he works all day and then has to hide in the bathroom or stay out of the house to avoid you.

On the face of it this looks like crap behaviour but I'm curious about the rest of your relationship tonunderstand the dynamkc that you've allowed.
What's the age difference and how did that happen?
Do you work, if not why not?
Do you have friends or are you isolated?
Do you have children? With him?

Oh, and since I've never known a straight man that has seriously long baths like that, i have to ask what sort of bar does go out to? Is he gay/bi?

Here's my guess based on what little you've given us.

You married at about 20 and are now about 44.
He's 60-65 now, so he'd have been late 30s, early 40s when you married.
You're not so attractive now and probably not so naive/malleable as you were when you married.
He tolerates you because you've always put up with his behaviour.
He thinks he can do better.
You think you can do better.

So the answer seems obvious - except I'm pretty sure neither of you can afford to live alone - so I'd do the minimum and behave like flatmates.