Being a middle aged woman sucks

[SanctusInDistress]

You are stuck between children, parents, partner, work. Trying to do the right thing by everybody but yet I’m the one in tears at the end of a long day. In a few hours it’s rinse and repeat.

Prioritise yourself. You’re choosing to put yourself last.

It’s a lot isn’t it? And it feels like it’s never enough.

This!

because if you don’t then you can’t be there for anyone else.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time OP. Do you want to tell us a bit more?

I don't think it's inevitable that middle age sucks. You do need to make sure not to put yourself last.

How old are your children, partner and parents OP?

Your partner should'nt be extra work for you. And maybe also your children and parents. Can you tell us a bit more, you do sound ground down.😪

Agree and even when kids are young adults there's still so much to worry about with them. I have four young adult kids , two still at Uni and costing us a fortune. Fortunately (if you can think of it that way) only have one elderly parent left who is 87 but fit as a fiddle and we don't have to do much for him but I am seeing friends just about on their knees trying to care for multiple elderly parents and in-laws as well as young adults with severe mh issues etc.

OP I really get this. I have three children who are adults and wonderful people. They all live in different places over the world. I constantly worry about them ,help the closest with childcare ,and then have friends who I have let down because I haven’t remembered their recent Dr appointments etc !
My brain is mashed with keeping up with everyone 🤦‍♀️
Am going to crawl to bed soon with toast and the dog!!

What’s middle age (50s?)? Why is your partner causing you problems? Do you live near your parents and visit all the time?

I’m not sure your age is the problem, people have all those things you’ve mentioned but don’t find them a chore. Can you pinpoint what exactly is making you this upset, sounds like you have a bit of a confidence issue and find it easier to be a passenger.

Sorry OP . If you are peri menopausal / menopausal please at least speak to your GP about whether HRT would be suitable for you .
Magnesium ( citrate ) also helps with sleeping if you find it difficult to sleep .

You mention a partner - can you have a chat about anything that can change? Are they able to help out more or for you to tag / team and each take a bit of time to yourself for e. g a catch up with a friend , a walk ?Sometimes we just need a quick break to recharge our batteries .
I know it is difficult when you have so many competing demands , but you also need to look after yourself otherwise you will burn out and not be able to take care of others .

Take care .

Teenage children - moody and hyper in equal measure but have to tread on eggshells because ‘mental health’.

partner with work worries of his own means I may end up being, again, the stable breadwinner, having to navigate his fragile ego accordingly (great hands on help at home though so can’t complain).

toxic mother; father with terminal cancer so can’t cut them out because guilt if I do.

work trying to juggle roles of 3 people with the constant threat of restructuring; managing people who don’t want to be there but public sector so impossible to get rid of.

did I mention menopause?

Not every middle aged woman has children, parents, work or a partner, believe it or not! But I get where you are coming from. You feel conflicted with your many responsibilities. Can you try talking to them about the stress you are feeling.

Please explore HRT.

Bit panicked reading people with kids at university/beyond still feeling like this.
I feel overwhelmed and teary because mine are secondary school and I feel like every day until A levels will be a battle (we are about to start GCSEs...)... so 4 years to go which I am dreading. But I really hoped that after that they would take less headspace as at least it wouldn't be down to you to ensure they revised etc....Even if the financial challenge still there, don't you get more peace of mind?