12yo walking home alone after 9pm

[Dramatic]

My daughter attends cadets two nights a week from 7-9pm. It's about a 30 minute walk and she doesn't mind walking, however, I have always picked her up at 9 because I feel like it's a bit too late for her to be walking alone. DH thinks that when it's light she will be fine walking home, I just feel like 9-9.30 is too late for her regardless of how light it is.

YABU - she will be fine walking home
YANBU - it's too late for a 12 year old

No definitely not.

No, I wouldn't at that time of night as there are fewer people around at that time. At 5pm then I would.

I don’t understand why your husband would suggest not picking her up. A half hour walk would only take a few minutes there and back and would make sure your daughter is completely safe. I’m always amazed by how stingy some people can be about giving lifts.

DD walks home from cadets often. She's nearly 16 though and it's a 10-15 minute walk. All pavements, street lights but pretty quiet.

If anything spooks her she'll call me and I'll walk up and meet her or just provide some company.

I think she was 14 before I was comfortable with her walking alone in uniform. There's a good pub near the det so DH will often walk up and have a pint and walk home with her.

Depends on where you live, what type of area. I live in a city and our area can be rough. DD 12 has to be in before its dark, but shines never more than 10 minutes away. She knows the route quite well.

I would pick her up if I was able to to be honest, that time there can be drunks and dodgy people around light or dark. If it meant DD missing out due to no one being able to collect I'd probably say ok.

Nope. I have a 12 year old and pick her up after ballet. And will for the foreseeable future. I might start considering random walks home from friends but not an every week timed thing as that’s particularly problematic from a safety perspective

It’s a long time since I was 12 but I would have been expected to do it. One car family, Dad working evenings. But sometimes my mum used to walk and meet me halfway - is that a possibility OP? Far better than using a car, it’s a good time to chat, and you both get exercise.

It would be a definitive no for me. My sons are 11 amd 13 and go to scouts which finishes at 9pm. We live a 10-15 minute walk away, but I wouldn't let the 2 of them walk home alone. They either have to go under a subway, or across a dual carriage way, and as a pp said in the uniform I'd worry they'd be a target. For the sake of 5 minutes I'd rather collect them, have peace of mind and as another poster said home at a reasonable time for a snack and bed.

My DS is nearly 14 and also attends cadets two nights a week, 7-9. One of the venues has moved and would not be walkable for him so we do collect him. We also collect him from the other venue though and that’s his school he walks to and from every day 🫣. But he can’t walk the same route home as a shortcut he takes is locked up at night time

But part of it is to get him home and ready for bed on a school night

Nope!

Absolutely not.

That's crazy. I don't understand why you would have them walk half an hour at that time of night to save yourself a 5 minute drive.

Absolutely not, I was followed home in the light at earlier than that at 17.

I also live in a safe area. Weirdos are everywhere and she is a very vulnerable age at 12.

It’s too late for a 12 year old YANBU

YANBU period.

I wouldn’t allow that. I pick up my 16 year old at 9.

No. Please Don't do it.

I’d pick her up. Our son was a cadet. Really enjoyed it.

At her age she needs her sleep too. If you pick her up, she can be getting ready for bed at 9.15, in bed by 9.30. It’s important.

30 mins is too long to walk at that time of night at 12 yrs old even if its light. Too many weirdos about

I think this could even be risky for an adult female walking alone depending on the area, so no I wouldn't agree to a young girl walking that distance at that age.

Thanks all, you've reassured me I'm not being unreasonable to insist on it.

Nope

It’s too late. Unfortunately because the weirdos come out at night more so.

I finish work at 10pm and I hate walking home, the amount of times I’ve felt followed or actually approached for money/ the time… anything is concerning. I’ve only felt like this in the last 3 years but it’s not safe to be walking alone at night anymore !