What am I supposed to do woth this information?

[WhenYouSayNothingAtAll]

Had DD’s(Y8) parent teacher meeting today. All fine overall.

One meeting though left me rather confused , and not sure what I should do about it , if anything at all.

First of all, the teacher had no idea who DD was. He asked her her name, her form and asked her to find her book. He was very surprised at how good her homework was. Then he continued by saying that the class was very chaotic and he’s not very good at disciplining them and he doesn’t like doing it either. Then he turned to DD and told her it’s basically her responsibility to get on with it, ignore the noise and it’s up to her whether she learns or not. Then he started rambling about his daughters/sisters/wife etc. The time was short and we had another appointment to get to , so we just up and left when the timer went.

In comparison with every other teacher/meetings we had , it felt weird and flat. I also think surely, he must have some responsibility over teaching and managing the class , it shouldn’t all be on DD .

My main worry is what if she has him again , closer to GCSES or even that year. We can manage with a meh/good enough year and I can help her if needed.

I don’t know whether to contact the school or what to even say without sounding like a twat. It’s not a complaint as such, it’s concern for the future .

I would contact the school ....he doesn't sound like a very good teacher at all.

Do I say the whole thing or just about what he said about the class and him not being good at discipline?

Definitely the fact he's struggling with discipline

I wouldn’t contact the school solely on the basis of that meeting. But if your daughter is finding it hard to learn in class, then you’ve got a bit more context to raise something about that. Even if you do say something, she still would be just as likely to end up with him another year, so it wouldn’t make much difference.

Won’t he get offered support though to deal with behaviour management/the class though? Which might make things better if she does have him again?

Yes - but I’d raise it on the basis of what my daughter says the class is like, and if she’s finding it hard in class or not, not because he was flustered in parents evening. (I agree it’s totally rubbish and he’d go way down in my estimation, but if your daughter says classes are ok and she’s learning well, I wouldn’t raise it. ). I’ve raised once with the school when my child had a terrible teacher and he was really finding it hard to learn in lessons, and the teacher did get a bit of feedback, but things didn’t change a huge amount - she was still fundamentally not that great a teacher.

Personally, I would leave this for now. There are less-than-perfect teachers in every school, and it's already towards the end of the academic year, so not not much opportunity for change for your DD. Plus she's only Y8 so plenty of time to catch up if she's not had the best year in this subject. Hopefully, the school is already aware of the situation and have something in place for future cohorts.

However, I would monitor the situation carefully next year, especially if this is a core subject, or one your DD might want to do for GCSE. If your DD has this teacher again, I'd be watching like a hawk from day 1, and contact SLT with any concerns straight away, including this recent experience.

I would put in a complaint.
Not quite the same, but when my dd was at school I went to her parent teacher meeting and went to the appointment for one lesson, and they said they didn't have anyone of my dds name in their class. I was too gobsmacked to say much and felt about an inch high in a room full or parents and teachers . I think I said are you sure and they said they were.
I went home and checked with dd and she was confused and said she got on really well with this teacher. I emailed the school about it and they asked what I wanted to happen. I just said an apology would be good, which is what I got from the teacher, but can't remember their reasoning now.

This sounds like a teacher who has the class once or twice a week, or who hasn't been there all term. Bear in mind they could have 30 other parents to see that night and might have been losing the plot a bit. It does sound very strange!

It sounds very much like the teacher knew and thought well of your dd, but just had them down in their head as having a different name. It happens.

That’s along the lines of what I was thinking to do. Thank you.

It depends what the subject is. If it's Maths or English, then 100%, be worried. He'll be seeing her regularly and should of course know her.

If it's something like RE or PHSE, it might be one lesson once a week/every two weeks. Those teachers have to see huge amounts of children, so remembering all of them can be a nightmare (thinking about numbers, classes of around 30, 6 or 7 times a day, 5 days a week is 700 or 800 children a week). A quieter student could easily get missed.

There are teachers who struggle with discipline - many do a lot of the time - but to come out with it to parents as he did is decidedly odd.

It is RE, but she is at a Catholic secondary so they do 2 lessons one week and 3 lessons the other. The school also made RS compulsory for GCSEs so it’s a subject she’ll have to take.

I know!! That’s what threw me the most.