To be struggling with new niece

[JugglingPlates90]

I’m coming up to 3 years infertility, one miscarriage. Brother and OH have just had a beautiful baby. They conceived immediately upon trying. If I hadn’t miscarried the cousins would have been in the same school year. First grandchild for my parents who are absolutely thrilled.

AIBU to feel jealous and resentful that I should have had a baby by now?

And whether unreasonable or not, any tips on navigating this without ruining other people’s well deserved happiness? At the moment I just want to avoid them to protect myself but worry I’ll regret it later.

You’d unreasonable to express it to anyone other than your partner/close trusted friends but of course you’re not unreasonable for your feelings, you can’t help those.

It does feel so unfair and I’m so sorry you’re hurting. However them having their baby doesn’t affect your chances in any way, try and keep it completely separate in your mind as much as you can. If you need to distance yourself a bit that’s ok I think, as long as you’ve sent congratulations and showed as much interest as you can.

Does your brother know about your struggles to conceive?

Send a card and a gift. Tell them privately ( just DB maybe) that you are absolutely thrilled for them but need to protect yourself just now and will look forward to meeting the baby soon. If there’s a massive family WhatsApp group put it on mute.

If they are kind people they will understand x