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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My friend thinks I’m trying to ruin her long term relationship

8 replies

Kenyaparks · 28/04/2025 17:36

So my friend has been with her boyfriend off and on for 6 whole years …. No kids, no marriage from it and we’re 24.

During their breakup/ break he started talking to this woman who I know of. They would be on the phone for hours 24/7. He ended up losing a family member and she was there for him and from the looks of it he was kinda falling for her.

She ended up trying to end things because he had to many things going on and she didn’t feel like a priority. This man blew her up, left numerous of voicemails on different cell phones, sent long paragraphs to this woman even after she blocked him.

He ended up confessing that he was falling for her, and how she was the best looking woman he’s ever dated/ talked to and how he was lucky etc. Keep in mind he only met this woman one time over the course of 3 months of them talking…. Due to the passing, yet they were in communication all the time.

She stopped talking to him and then he ended up getting back together with my friend… a few months went by and that girl he was previously talking ended up following him on social media. He took it to the moon and started messaging her, even called her. Was sending her messages telling her if she was in a relationship not to tell him or throw it in his face. My friend found all this out yesterday. I told her that what she’s in isn’t healthy, yet she insisted that he really doesn’t like the woman and that she’s his first and only love ??

She also claimed that he’s just bored and how he only started back talking to her because they’re having issues as a couple ? How he only talked to her for 3 months and how he wasn’t serious about the woman

Does this man have feelings for this woman or am I just being a bad friend and thinking to much into her relationship? I don’t want her to get hurt

OP posts:
wowwhataday · 28/04/2025 17:39

You’re too invested, reads like a soap catch up

Dinosweetpea · 28/04/2025 17:50

I'd be staying well out of this shit show!

Swiftie1878 · 28/04/2025 17:52

Stay out of it. No-one will thank you, and you may end up losing a friendship.

Kenyaparks · 28/04/2025 17:56

She keeps coming to me asking me for advice that’s the only way I know all of this…

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 28/04/2025 17:57

Kenyaparks · 28/04/2025 17:56

She keeps coming to me asking me for advice that’s the only way I know all of this…

Just tell her to go with her gut. And be there to support her when it all falls apart.

Happyinarcon · 28/04/2025 18:27

In my experience people rarely act on relationship advice, they need to crash the bus and see for themselves. Just nod your head and then say ‘what a bastard’ down the track

Endofyear · 28/04/2025 19:01

It doesn't sound like your friend is ready to accept that her boyfriend is a bit of an arse. I'd stay well out of it as much as you can. Don't offer advice, just sympathise with her.

Sassybooklover · 28/04/2025 19:08

You can give her all the advice under the sun, but ultimately she'll still do what she wants. At the moment she's in denial, her boyfriend isn't madly in love with her and yes he's clearly got a crush at the very least on this other woman. I am sure you have already given your opinion to her, when she's asked for advice. I'm also going to guess that she's probably ignored all your advice too! You can't stop her from getting hurt, all you can do is be there when the relationship finally goes pear shaped. You've said your piece, now it's time to make the right noises 'Oh dear', 'Oh yes sounds awful' etc, but no more than that. Don't get yourself too heavily involved.

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