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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need a hand hold

10 replies

elm26 · 28/04/2025 03:08

DD who is almost 2 has had 4 days of a cough and cold and has been pretty miserable but still playing with toys and eating and drinking. Assumed it was we was a regular cold and to ride it out with calpol/nutofen, fluids and lots of cuddles.

DH has been in Spain for his friends stag do, I’m almost 21 weeks pregnant with terrible sciatica and unable to take the amitryptilline they gave me as it makes me so groggy and feeling hungover in the morning.

My Dad and Stepmum kindly offered to have DD overnight Saturday so I could rest and sleep in yesterday. I explained she had a cold but Stepmum is a nanny and is used to being around it all, said it wasn’t a problem at all.

Picked DD up at 10:30 yesterday morning, Dad and Stepmum reported a restless night of coughing but was napping when I got up he there and then laughing and playing with my Dad.

I did the 25 minute drive home and it was like something had rapidly changed, DD temp was 39.2, wouldn’t stop crying except brief spells of staring blankly at me. I called 111, out of hours dr saw her and was concerned by the grunting noise she was making and the sleepiness and send me to the children’s ward at local hospital.

Once there, she had 2 febrile seizures they couldn’t get temp under 40, she wasn’t drinking anything, was vomiting clear fluid in and out of being awake. I had to pin her down whilst they fit a cannula to start fluids, painkiller and antibiotics. Swabs shows she has RSV and a type of influenza.

I feel traumatised at how rapidly she went downhill.

I made DH aware of what was going on in the morning, he landed back here at 23:30 and told me he’d come straight here but I asked him to go home and get 6/7 hours sleep as I’m going to need him on top form today (as soon as I told him about DD in the morning he didn’t touch any alcohol so that he’s fit and ready to take over in the morning).

I’m currently sat on an armchair trying to sleep but failing because my back is so bad, they don’t have any parent beds. When DD was hospitalised with a less severe case of RSV as a baby, they put a pull out bed next to her cot for me but an armchair is all they could give me this time. DD is asleep but wakes up murmuring/whinging every half hour or so, I hate seeing her like this.

Paediatric consultant will review in the morning, I don’t know what the point in this post is but I hate seeing DD like this, I’m in pain, so tired and can’t sleep on this awful armchair.

The seizures gave me the fright of my life today and keep replaying them in my head.

Just feel lonely and so tired ☹️

OP posts:
Powderblue1 · 28/04/2025 03:29

Oh OP how worrying for you. I hope you manage to get a little sleep tonight and your DD is feeling slightly better by the morning. Sending hugs xx

Babygirlmamahere · 28/04/2025 03:31

This sounds so scary OP, really hoping your DD is on the mend soon 💐 looking after kiddies when pregnant is exhausting at the best of times, I hope you are ok x

StartupRepair · 28/04/2025 03:31

You poor thing. Dd will get good care and thank goodness DH is back. It is terrifying how kids can get so sick so fast but then they can get better really fast too. Just get through the next few hours then have a good rest.it is amazing the resilience we can find inside when our children need us. Hope everything calms down and you can rest over the next few days.

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/04/2025 03:33

I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how stressful this must be, not to mention uncomfortable.

Sounds like you’ve done absolutely everything in your power to help her and that’s she’s in the very beat place now. Try to relax and not pressure yourself to sleep - just some restful moments here and there will be enough to carry you through the next couple of hours until you can take your meds and get some rest.

longer term, make sure you speak to someone (hosp or GP) about the effect DD’s seizures and other symptoms had on you if it’s still bothering you. Anyone would be effected by that - it’s completely normal. Some sleep and time might help but if not, talking it through should help you process it.

when is your DH taking over and how will you get home?

Sending positive thoughts to you and your DD

Bestwishes23 · 28/04/2025 03:34

So sorry, OP. How distressing for you. DD is in the best place she can be. I hope she feels a little better in the morning and hopefully you get some semblance of rest.

Daysgo · 28/04/2025 03:37

Best wishes op, hope your dd recovers quickly and you get some sleep

pinkdelight · 28/04/2025 05:34

I know why you told DH to get some sleep but really you’re pregnant and have sciatica and it’s his turn to hold the fort. He could still have looked after her tomorrow as well as sleeping on this chair tonight. Too late now but as he’s back, let him handle it and look after yourself. Get home as soon as you can and rest up. Sorry for your poor DD, that sounds scary but good that she’s in the right place now.

elm26 · 28/04/2025 06:51

Thank you so much everyone.

DH is coming at 7 so I will go home, shower and get into bed. My car is here and it’s only a 10 minute drive through little roads. I understand what you mean about DH @pinkdelighthe was coming straight here form the airport but wouldn’t have been until gone 1am and was hoping DD and I might be asleep, didn’t want to be disturbed and I’m going to need him to be on top form today as I’m certainly not 🤦🏻‍♀️ 10 minutes until he’s here 🙌🏻

DD temp is now under control, she’s about to have a second bag of fluids and then consultant will review at lunchtime.

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 28/04/2025 06:55

Similar happened with my son last year. It really was traumatising. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

They gave my son a bed and told me to get in with him if I wanted. Is that an option if she’s in again tonight?

elm26 · 29/04/2025 12:02

@FuckoffeeBeforeCoffeeshe was in a cot and I wouldn’t have fit with my bump too, they said they didn’t have anything but an armchair. Luckily she was discharged at 6pm last night after being able to maintain a normal temp for the day. Hoping she recovers well now, last night was a disaster she was up all night coughing and screaming bless her.

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