Child miserable English lessons

[Queenofkittens]

So for the last few weeks my son (aged 8) in year 3, has been really miserable about going to school. I know this is common and what kids want to go etc but it's now at the point he's crying the night before, saying he has a tummy ache, then when I give him the day off thinking he's poorly he's absolutely fine. Me and my OH have spoken to him and said what is it that u dislike so much, he's adamant it's not bullying as he says lunchtime and playing outside is the best part, but repeatedly says it's the English lessons. He despises writing, struggles with it, but his reading is very good so I don't believe it's dyslexia. His maths is absolutely fantastic out of the 60 children in his year he was the only one who got 100% and at the latest parents evening I was told he was working at maths year 4 level already, so it's not as if school on the whole is hard work, just.....English apparently. I promised him I'd speak to his teacher about it and it seemed to pacify him somewhat, but realistically, what is she gonna be able to do if it's the curriculum they are doing? Has anyone got any experience of this? And what did u do/did it get better.

Both my DDs had a reading age of 18 by the end of primary. Both were subsequently diagnosed with dyslexia. There are different types, writing can also be impacted by processing speed, visual processing, verbal memory, physical issues such as hypermobility.

Oh god shows how much I know then, I assumed it was just the words bouncing around the page, didn't realise there were different types!

What’s his handwriting like? Too many boys struggle with handwriting because they’re pushed into cursive before they are physically ready and it makes everything writing related a struggle.

Our daughter was one of the best readers in her year, she was always in the top sets in English but was found to be dyslexic at secondary school. Recently had the full assessment for university and her reading is severely affected. To the point that if she's in a room with hundred people, you'll be better off giving it to any of them rather than her!

It's not always obvious where the difficulty lies and it's possible to have strengths or strategies that can mask a deficiency. What we traditionally think dyslexia looks like is only part of it.

@BeNavyCrab yes, dd1 was the same. They learn coping strategies early so sometimes they slip through the net.

Just reassure him that he will get better at it. Maybe get some foam grips so pens are easier to hold. He might be interested in building up his writing muscles using squeezee balls or those two handled hand strengthening squeeze gadgets they sell in Tiger. Or arm wrestling matches.

Help him form cursive shapes through art work - pick something that interests him and draw thevoutline, then get him to add the repeat pattern: scales on a dragon or fish, faces in a football crowd etc.

Very casually get him to write stuff for you - shopping lists, postcards to granny, a menu for a fancy family breakfast etc.

Get him books on subjects he likes. DS hated English. He could just about write his own name aged 7 and was on the bottom table in his class. He was crazy about Lego and Minecraft online games. DH bought him some manuals that showed some hacks to get through to secret levels. He asked his dad to read them to him, but DH just said, 'Nah. Read them yourself. If you want to know stuff you have to be able to read.' Within two weeks, he was reading.

Some very bright children can be poor at handwriting. It’s apparently quite common. Something to do with brain thinking quicker than motor skills.

Absolutely no harm in speaking to his teacher about this. Are you able to catch them at school pick up or send an email? It sounds like he needs some extra support around his writing, if the teacher is aware it's really affecting his confidence and engagement then they can look at interventions and strategies to help.

@handmademitlove I was interested that you mentioned hypermobility. Did either of your kids have this too? Our daughter has and is continuing to have issues with multiple joints.

Slightly different thing but a routine eye test when I was 8 discovered the fact that I was severely short sighted. No one had realised because I was very bright and had found ways round the fact that I couldn’t actually see!

Just replying to all the comments that individually, honest answer, handwriting is dreadful. More like year 1 than year 3. Reading is very good though, so he says at the minute they are writing about Peter Pan and how he can't think of words to describe the story and it's too hard and English is just the worst 😞
He also loves Minecraft and online games and can even play chess! But get him to write a story and it's like it's the end of the world.

A lot of boys don't enjoy writing. Maths there is a right answer or a wrong one on the whole where English is so subjective you are always pushed to improve and edit and it's a great test of resilience. It might be an idea for you or the teacher to explain he's not doing a bad job when he's asked to write or improve.

Yes I've found my daughter is far more interested in English (she's 11) than maths but she still does both with no problem, but for him it's like it's such a big problem it's now making him not want to go to school? I'll speak to the teacher tomorrow because it's worrying me how much it's worrying him!

@BeNavyCrabyes, two children with hypermobility. Both used laptops at school from yr3 ISH onwards. One due to pain caused by hypermobile joints when writing, the other due to poor interoception and hypermobility meaning poor pen control.

@Queenofkittensthere are two issues - one is the physical aspects of writing. Poor handwriting can be caused by lots of things. The inability to know what to write is different - both together can be challenging as teachers often address one or the other but rarely both! If physical writing is an issue, consider if they have any other co-ordination problems or pain and ask school if they can refer to occupational therapy for support. If generating ideas, consider using mind maps / sentence starters / vocab boards to help. My DD did much better once she starting mapping ideas out graphically, then organising into sentences. She couldn't organise the thoughts inside her head and OT suggested using a laptop and mind mapping to help her with this.

He sounds like my DS, reading was no issue at all, hated writing, diagnosed with dyslexia aged 8 and dyspraxia at 18.

So I've been reading about dyspraxia since a few people mentioned it on here, and it does tick boxes but then also doesn't. So for instance the hand writing is a big tick, as is the not being able to button up clothes or tie shoelaces, he was only able to work his zip last year, and he also had speech therapy and they said at the time it isn't a language problem it's a speech problem because he would chatter all day long and none of it was coherent. He's absolutely fine now was discharged halfway through year 1, but still says things that aren't quite 'right' and I assumed it was laziness. For instance he sometimes says 'the' as 'vuh' until I tell him to repeat himself and he'll say it properly.
Things that don't tick boxes is the clumsiness, I've never seen him as a particularly clumsy child, he can ride his bike so confidently and never falls off but clumsiness seems to big a big indicator for dyspraxia?

I would not describe my son as clumsy, although he was never sporty. He particularly struggled with putting socks on (even now he wears a size up as it is easier) and putting shoes on takes an age. He wore Velcro shoes all through secondary, and even now it takes him ages to put his shoes and socks on.

he is now at university and has a tutor for an hour a week to help him with his organisational skills (or lack of them)

Perhaps research dysgraphia.

Children with dyslexia can be excellent readers and spellers. How it affects a child varies.

Why wouldn’t boys be ready for cursive? It is just drawing and isn’t it supposed to help with spelling?