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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour in hospital and his cat

41 replies

LurkerEvany · 27/04/2025 21:31

Would I be unreasonable to tell my neighbour to put his cat in temporary cat lodging/pet sitters.

My neibour is old and in hospital and has been for 2 weeks. No idea when/if he will get out.

It was sudden and so I took some things to him and am looking after the cat by going to his twice a day. The cat was booked for surgery and I agreed to look after and sort the cat (she badly needed it).

She is now off meds and doing great but I'm getting fed up of the running around for him and seeing to the cat. I'm a carer for my wheelchair partner and mum.

Would I be wrong for now telling him it's time to get her in a boarding place as she's stuck indoors and has no one there?

I feel bad as it's not her fault nor his really and he has no living family but I feel this isn't my place.

OP posts:

Rhinohides · 27/04/2025 22:46

You need to speak to him and agree that he will either organise a battery or he will speak to the ward manager while you are there and if he doesn’t- find the ward manager yourself and discuss with her. This way the hospital can organise things, there will be a paper trail and it is official so safest option for cat rather than trusting a Facebook page. Personally I wouldn’t trust a Facebook page, there’s too much about pets being used as bait to train fighting dogs.
Hospitals are used to dealing with these things so discuss with them

financialmuddle · 27/04/2025 22:53

Much better for the cat to get a cat sitter to visit and feed, than to move the cat to a cattery. And cheaper.

AnotherDelphinium · 28/04/2025 00:14

Please don’t worry that it’s an old cat and on its own most of the day. I know both of mine would 1000x prefer to be at home alone than stuck in a cattery.

In the nicest way possibly I doubt he played a huge amount with it, they just kept each other company, and staying in its own space and territory is far less stressful for it.

Original poster

LurkerEvany · 28/04/2025 00:32

AnotherDelphinium · 28/04/2025 00:14

Please don’t worry that it’s an old cat and on its own most of the day. I know both of mine would 1000x prefer to be at home alone than stuck in a cattery.

In the nicest way possibly I doubt he played a huge amount with it, they just kept each other company, and staying in its own space and territory is far less stressful for it.

Yes, this is why I have been doing the 'leave it at home and visit feeds'. So much better for the animal. Defo a comfort thing. She choose him over the orginal owner. Keep shooing her out and all sorts but she wouldn't go and stayed the night. Not a lot he could do and nothing the OO could do saying he stole her cat. Lol

OP posts:

urbanbuddha · 28/04/2025 00:43

Thelnebriati · 27/04/2025 21:43

The Cinnamon Trust might be able to help, you should be able to contact the hospital social worker and ask them to arrange for them to look after the cat if you can't contact them directly.

That’s a good shout. Try The Cinnamon Trust.

Protectivemummy2025 · 28/04/2025 01:23

Please be weary of calling a rescue or organising the council or anything like that as the keeper is an elderly gentleman who has probably not gone and got his cat microchipped in like with the 2024 legislation which came in.

if the pet is microchipped already then there is a good chance that it is registered to a previous keeper still.

I am stating this advice as someone who works for a microchip database, why don’t you contact a local scan angel in your area to see if anyone can arrange going to feed the cat at it’s house and leaving it indoors whilst the keeper is in hospital.

Protectivemummy2025 · 28/04/2025 01:28

*in line with the 2024 legislation.

also I would not recommend letting it out at all either because there is no one there every hour to let it back in so it would go wandering again and may become lost.

it would then be a case of the advice in my previous comment, the pet would be collected and if found to either A not be microchipped or B have a microchip which has not been kept up to date, the pet would be taken to a rescue for rehoming as it would be classed as a stray.

I am not trying to pressure you into continuing to feed it however I would be doing my upmost to secure a helping hand who can go to the property and feed the cat but keep it secure and in it’s home whilst his owner is in hospital.

NattyTurtle59 · 28/04/2025 01:32

StarDolphins · 27/04/2025 21:43

I am unreasonable but I would bend over backwards to help this man and his cat or at least rally some friends/rellies of his to help. It’s stressful enough being in hospital and worrying about a pet & how would he arrange this? I know not everyone thinks like this but o would just do it.

I would do the same, in fact I did when a neighbour ended up in hospital several years ago and was there for several weeks. It hardly takes much time and will be such a relief for your neighbour.

People on here are always moaning about there being no "village" these days, but things like this are part of that and if you want others to help you then you have to do your share of the helping.

As for the person who said you can't leave cats alone for more than a night or two - what rubbish. I'm about to look after my friend's cat while she is out of the country for two weeks, and he will be fine - it's not the first time I've fed him while she is away.

Lostcat · 28/04/2025 01:37

Worm28 · 27/04/2025 21:42

You’re NBU if you don’t want to help anymore but if I was you I would continue to look after the cat because sometimes it’s just a good thing to do to help a fellow human out in a crisis. Now the cat has recovered surely it just needs feeding twice a day at your convenience?

this

breadpie · 28/04/2025 01:42

Cinnamon trust will only help if the cats owner registered with them beforehand. Cats protection might help if approached or there may be local charities that can support the hospitalised gent. It will be better for the cat to have alternative carer involvement - cats need more than the basic care that the OP is providing.

Fraaances · 28/04/2025 02:25

I feel so sorry for all of you. If you were fit and healthy and didn’t have caring obligations, I would be telling you that it’s not too hard to pop in a couple of times a day. Annoying, yes… but not difficult. The poor old bloke hasn’t got anyone else either. I would definitely find out how long he’s expected to be in hospital before making any decisions… You’d feel terrible if they took the cat

notsureyetcertain · 28/04/2025 06:43

Id speak to him about the cat and ask him what he thinks would be best. Explain you are concerned about the cat being alone and you can’t take him in.

Seeyouincourtkeithyoutwat · 28/04/2025 06:48

ThisIsItNowOrNever · 27/04/2025 22:25

Not unreasonable at all. Your neighbour is taking the piss.

Or the elderly man is in hospital and unwell. FFS show some compassion.

Keepingongoing · 28/04/2025 08:26

You sound very kind to have done what you’ve done so far both for your neighbour and the cat, including seeing the cat through surgery. YANBU to want to give up this responsibility, especially as you’re a carer for two people and have your own health issues. You might have difficulty getting the cat boarded as catteries want up to date vaccination certificates and the cat might not have been kept up to date with its vaccinations. Another option would be to look for a pet sitter and get them to visit once or twice a day. It’s not ideal for the cat to be in all the time, but in a cattery it would be penned in a cage as well, and everything unfamiliar. Your neighbour could pay the pet sitter directly if he’s able, or you pay and sort it out later. I don’t think you’d be morally in the wrong at all to do this.

Original poster

LurkerEvany · 28/04/2025 18:34

Update

I've been in to see him but the ward nurse had gone home. I talked to the nurse in charge who took down what I had said and said they will talk to him too.

I'm carrying on till next week as the cats still on meds and needs 1 last vet check.

I talked to the gentlemen and asked for funds to get the can cat litter and whatnot. At least I don't feel so used now as I had paid for everything so far apart from the vet bill.

It's not about the money but at least I can now get litter thats lighter to lift and change. I'm more thinking the longer term outcomes as the nurse has admitted he is very unwell and could be there a lot longer.

So for this week up to Saturday I have no problem apart from the inconvenience and back pain. Lol

As I said I will have a proper conversation closer the time as things will have to be sorted with social services, carers and the rent on his bungalow. Hopefully with the ward manager this time! Lol

OP posts:

financialmuddle · 28/04/2025 19:02

It would be worth contacting the Cinnamon Trust to see if they can take him on when your neighbour eventually dies.

cinnamon.org.uk/

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