Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday room share help

46 replies

MrsPatrickDempsey · 27/04/2025 20:31

Oh please help. There are a group of 6 friends (all female) that go away together roughly every year.
One member of the group is, to put it mildly, a difficult character. I wouldn’t choose to go away with her otherwise and have chosen minimal contact at other times. We all feel similar but I have the least tolerance. I recognise that it would be mean to book a trip without her and we fallen into a bit of a pattern.
We share rooms when we go away and it is usually set pairings (I don’t share with her). Just checked the booking that one of the others made (we take it in turns to book) and yep - you’ve guessed it - I am allocated to share with her. She really is that bad that I can’t just suck it up for a week. I really can’t and I am not looking forward to it and am not sure I want to go.
What would you do?

OP posts:
evtheria · 27/04/2025 22:23

Pippa12 · 27/04/2025 22:20

Perhaps the lady she normally shares with is pig sick of always pulling the short straw and had sent word she wants a trip off!

I think if she’s really that bad you should take it in turns to share the burden, it must be insufferable for the other person to put up with this every time she wants to go away whilst everyone else gets respite.

I was thinking this - how certain can anyone be that the usual roommate isn’t fed up? And even if she isn’t at ‘breaking point’ of always being the one to room, I think it’s pretty crap that no one else has sucked it up to take their turn.

HufflebuffsAreOn · 27/04/2025 22:29

Another one that feels sorry for her usual roommate. I don’t think you should push for the usual sharing pattern. It’s not fair and you don’t know how she really feels. Pay extra, cope or back out entirely should be your choices.

mondaytosunday · 27/04/2025 22:55

Why is she even going?
Last group trip we shared rooms (I didn’t know anyone other than the arranger) but one snored so loudly her roommate moved to the living room. Is that possible?

loropianalover · 27/04/2025 22:59

I wouldn’t ask her usual ‘tolerant’ roomie to swap, sounds like she might have put in a quiet word as she’s sick of her! If she’s been doing the sharing on all the previous trips it’s only fair she gets a break.

Is this still a trip you want to go on? Why do you all go on trips with this woman?

The only options for me would be booking my own room or not going.

PullTheBricksDown · 27/04/2025 23:10

The cost of a single room doubles the cost - need to make a decision.

I'd consider this money well spent tbh. My budget might not be yours though. The snoring story is the best route. Though I too am wondering why she is still invited given that no-one likes her. Don't fool yourself that her usual room sharer likes it - she'll just be the most unwilling to speak using

ChocoChocoLatte · 28/04/2025 07:15

@MrsPatrickDempseyother than the fact I always take my own room, I’d be worried you’re describing me Blush

I don’t sleep well & need background noise (tv or radio) to drift off. I also tire easily (medical reasons) so retire earlier than most, I’m also slower to waken & get going in the morning too. I snore (according to DH, yet I don’t believe it) and need to visit the bathroom sometimes several times a night.

I wouldn’t wish me on anyone! And yet I’d also be mortified about being discussed as the problem friend.

Has anyone asked the person who usually shares with her what their opinion of the situation is?

rookiemere · 28/04/2025 07:27

If 5 of you went, one of you would have to pay for their own room anyway. I think if you weren’t prepared to share with her you should have said up front. If the other lady is prepared to share with her then great, then if not I think you have no option but to pay for a single room.

Ginmonkeyagain · 28/04/2025 07:32

You all seem to be putting up with going on holiday with someone none of you like in order to get a cheaper holoday. YABU.

Pay more for a single room or put up with her.

Going forward someone needs to be an adult and speak to her about her behaviour.

Notknots · 28/04/2025 07:35

Life is too short to spend a week on holiday with someone you can't stand

Whaleandsnail6 · 28/04/2025 07:40

I imagine her usual room share has gotten a bit fed up with being the one always paired with her so has quietly asked for a change.

I think you need to either suck it up this time or pay for a single.

However, I get that you find her unpleasant but I don't like this whole talking about her behind her back...has anyone ever called out her behaviour? She clearly thinks you are all her good friends yet you have messages flying round about how you couldn't tolerate sharing with her. I feel a bit sorry for her really.

TubeScreamer · 28/04/2025 08:11

Not fair to ask anyone else to swap.

I would pay extra to have my own room.

Ineffable23 · 28/04/2025 08:19

Pippa12 · 27/04/2025 22:20

Perhaps the lady she normally shares with is pig sick of always pulling the short straw and had sent word she wants a trip off!

I think if she’s really that bad you should take it in turns to share the burden, it must be insufferable for the other person to put up with this every time she wants to go away whilst everyone else gets respite.

I was also thinking this - are you sure the usual person doesn't mind?!

CityofOliveBranch · 28/04/2025 08:53

Samcro · 27/04/2025 20:32

I would not go away with someone I disliked

This.

It’s not just the room-sharing aspect, but the whole holiday vibe would be something I would not want to endure for a whole week with an unpleasant and unlikeable person.

It sounds like the others have decided it’s your turn to take one for the team. Correctly imo.

Only you can decide how to move forward, but I’d reluctantly pull out completely.

KierEagan · 28/04/2025 09:08

ChocoChocoLatte · 28/04/2025 07:15

@MrsPatrickDempseyother than the fact I always take my own room, I’d be worried you’re describing me Blush

I don’t sleep well & need background noise (tv or radio) to drift off. I also tire easily (medical reasons) so retire earlier than most, I’m also slower to waken & get going in the morning too. I snore (according to DH, yet I don’t believe it) and need to visit the bathroom sometimes several times a night.

I wouldn’t wish me on anyone! And yet I’d also be mortified about being discussed as the problem friend.

Has anyone asked the person who usually shares with her what their opinion of the situation is?

None of those are the reasons OP doesn't want to share with this person. Not everything is about you.

ChocoChocoLatte · 28/04/2025 10:08

@KierEaganit absolutely is for me so please know your opinion is neither rated nor required, off you pop Biscuit

NeedToChangeName · 28/04/2025 10:12

The person she normally shares with doesn’t complain. She is very tolerant

Or, it suits you to assume that's the case. Maybe she feels she's done her bit and it's someone else's turn

ThejoyofNC · 28/04/2025 10:14

Do you have a group chat? This needs to be addressed ASAP.

friendlycat · 28/04/2025 10:16

NeedToChangeName · 28/04/2025 10:12

The person she normally shares with doesn’t complain. She is very tolerant

Or, it suits you to assume that's the case. Maybe she feels she's done her bit and it's someone else's turn

It’s no doubt this. Why should the same person always be burdened with sharing with the difficult one?

If none of you can really tolerate her then it’s madness continuing to include her.

I would pay extra for my own room.

rookiemere · 28/04/2025 10:17

NeedToChangeName · 28/04/2025 10:12

The person she normally shares with doesn’t complain. She is very tolerant

Or, it suits you to assume that's the case. Maybe she feels she's done her bit and it's someone else's turn

Yes I think this is exactly what has happened. For our ladies trips we always clarify in advance of booking what the sleeping arrangements will be.
I would rather have my own room, but will share a twin if absolutely necessary, but not with one of our friends who is lovely but very scatty with financial arrangements and would likely leave me out of pocket.

Packcold · 28/04/2025 10:25

You need to either be laid back enough to go with the flow and put up with it for a few days, or brave enough to say she shouldn't be included on trips.

Fwiw I always very much needed my own room, then I got opportunities to go on many more trips, and as you say a single room doubles the cost. I've shared with very many randoms over the last few years. People I know well, passing aquaintances and complete strangers. Men and women. It's never been awful and very often is very good. The worst that can happen is it's an hour or two a day when you're actually awake in the room. Earplugs are good for snorers, but I've found life improves many times over with a "what's the worst that can happen?" attitude.

Flamingoknees · 28/04/2025 10:30

If you pay for your own room, will your unpopular friend then have to pay double too? Or will a 7th person be found to share with her?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page