Co-parenting under one roof

[Mummmyof1]

Recently separated from my wife. We have one toddler together. We no longer function as couple, but still get on well in every other aspect. We function more as friends. Both have changed as people after the birth of our son, as have our priorities. We are currently thinking about co - parenting under our current roof (we both own it - mortgaged). Firstly I am wondering has anyone tried this set up before? Has it worked? If so how?

And secondly

AIBU to even think it'll work long term.

How do you think it would go if one or other of you started a new relationship?

Honestly you should work to reestablish your connection, communicate more effectively, treat each other with compassion and respect and try to get back together.
If you got on and work as friends it should be possible to treat each other well and work to having a good marriage again. It will be a different marriage. The grass outside is not greener. There is no perfect relationship. If these is no abuse/infedelity/lies it should be possible.

The problem is that this rarely works. Some couples divorce amicably and can maintain a really good friendship and co-parenting relationship, but unless the one and only reason you don’t want to be a couple anymore is that you don’t want to have sex with each other, remaining in the same house means you’ve still got all the reasons you decided you don’t work as a couple to navigate. You still have to reach agreements and compromise with your ex over e.g. finances, cleaning and domestic hygiene standards, the mental load, how you balance your free time with childcare; plus the reality that one or both of you will almost certainly meet somebody else at some point (even if both of you swear now that you aren’t interested) and then you to also navigate the other people each of you are having sex with etc. If you couldn’t do this when married, you’re unlikely to be able to do this when divorced.

It’s also really important to recognise that children learn about what a healthy relationship looks like from their parents, and that informs their own templates for their adult relationships. A set up where parents were clearly only staying living together for the children is ultimately dysfunctional, however settled it feels to you, and won’t support your children when older in forming their own templates for what a good relationship should look like.

We are older parents. It's the last of both our priorities to be honest.

The part on your post about teaching our son about how children learn about healthy relationships is giving me food for thought