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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone not met their mates partner

19 replies

Galwaygirlxxx · 27/04/2025 02:14

Hi all. I'm a bit exhausted in this friendship it's getting me down.

We are friends 6 years. She's engaged 2. I have never met her fiance. Our mutual best friend has met him three times in 11 years since she's going out with him. (They're mates since childhood).

Her excuse is she doesn't mix love life with mates but she hangs out with his friends 🙄 🙄🙄 she's getting married March next year and I've never met him.

  • anything I like she will say oh no don't get that, get this
  • she bought a house in Sep last year and only told us in her tiny circle in December 🫠
  • she was in my house last year and I gave my 16 year old niece and her bf alcohol and she goes to me do you think they're having sex 💀 ☠️ shocking
  • she always has to be right, it's exhausting
  • I was on holiday a few months ago and she was like omg you're in restaurant X leave now it's meant to be horrible my work friend said so
  • she will always say my work friend hates loreal. My work friend hates kiwis. Always uses fake work people to say they agree with her lol

Our mutual best friend asked me out with her work mates last year and I was out with them last week and she went insane saying thanks for the invite but she never came to get to know them before and is now mad she wasn't invited this time😂

I went on a retreat in 2023. I met a girl there who is now my best friend. She just says oh you're new friend you're always with her now and never free for me. Even though I'd be lucky to see her every 2nd month 🫠

She tells me nothing about her personal life. I see her 5/6 times a year in person but she texts me daily. How do I back off. How do I set boundaries. I am exhausted. I can't end the friendship due to mutual best friend.

Am I being unreasonable.

Is it normal to have one friend who drives you absolutely insane.

She does nothing with her life. Fiance work exercise then once a month she will venture out.

She has told me a few times that she's jealous of me. That I am an extrovert and she isn't. It's all so odd and driving me insane.

OP posts:
PoopingAllTheWay · 27/04/2025 02:18

Erm… ok….

Original poster
Galwaygirlxxx · 27/04/2025 02:21

PoopingAllTheWay · 27/04/2025 02:18

Erm… ok….

?

OP posts:
MarkingBad · 27/04/2025 02:21

She's not your friend if she is jealous of you for any reason and especially for you having a new friend. It's too much drama.

Easy way to back out is to be less available to her. Why put up with this in your life?

Original poster
Galwaygirlxxx · 27/04/2025 02:25

MarkingBad · 27/04/2025 02:21

She's not your friend if she is jealous of you for any reason and especially for you having a new friend. It's too much drama.

Easy way to back out is to be less available to her. Why put up with this in your life?

Sorry I'm up all night and exhausted it might be a bit all over the place.

The jealously thing I think was just a weird compliment. She said she wished she was outgoing like me and could make friends easily like me. I'll call her Nell.

My best friends are say Zoe and Jess. Jess I met on a retreat and Nell has never met her because she's always busy but calls her my retreat friend. Oh you're just going out with your retreat friend, I thought it was a good friend. Yes we met on a retreat but we are mates two years 🙄🙄🙄

Nell who post is about is good friends with my best friend Zoe. It would be a shit show if I ended the friendship unfortunately.

OP posts:
EnhancedVampireEyeballs · 27/04/2025 02:26

Well you clearly despise her, so it's probably time to take a step back from the "friendship".

TBH, I think when you're at the point of making bullet pointed lists as to why your friend is "driving you insane", the friendship is probably dead.

Original poster
Galwaygirlxxx · 27/04/2025 02:26

@MarkingBad How do I ignore WhatsApp messages daily I've no idea how to do this. Just reply once a week ?

God I sound like a child but this would be awful if I had to end this friendship. The aftermath would be a shitshow

OP posts:
Original poster
Galwaygirlxxx · 27/04/2025 02:28

EnhancedVampireEyeballs · 27/04/2025 02:26

Well you clearly despise her, so it's probably time to take a step back from the "friendship".

TBH, I think when you're at the point of making bullet pointed lists as to why your friend is "driving you insane", the friendship is probably dead.

I used to adore her but having a friend who talks to you like they're your mother is exhausting.

She disagrees on everything with me. Shampoo to music to food.

Me and another friend where saying how good Aer Lingus is compared to Ryanair and she went bizzark saying Ryanair is better. She hasn't flown in 3 years ☠️

OP posts:
MarkingBad · 27/04/2025 02:36

Just say you're a bit busy at the moment, speak to you later and answer next day or some other arbitary time you have free.

From what you've said she sounds really jealous and all the negging about the things you do places you go etc, it's really toxic. If this was a partner this thread would be full of LTBs

Zoe, may be your BFF but she still has no say in your feelings about someone however much she likes them. If she can't accept you not being always available for Nell to play her neggy mind games on you, she's a shitty friend too.

EnhancedVampireEyeballs · 27/04/2025 02:43

Okay, but really, does it matter if she hasn't flown in three years? I get it, friendships evolve, and sometimes we outgrow people who we've been extremely close to. It's sad. The person I was best friends with, spent my whole childhood with, had my first sleepover with, has become someone I can barely recognise.

Did she really go berserk over EI versus FR? I mean I'd go EI any time, but I don't really care enough to lose the rag over it 😂

GiroJim100 · 27/04/2025 05:18

What a weird relationship. How can you have that much contact with her and yet know nothing about her personal life? What does she even talk about?!

Sounds like you really don’t like her so probably best to just let it fizzle out naturally.

BananaSpanner · 27/04/2025 05:27

Pull back from the friendship as you clearly don’t like her much. If she questions you on it, just be honest…you find her argumentative and competitive and you find it weird she is so secretive about her house and boyfriend. She is not treating you like a friend so don’t be one.

Kittyfluff · 27/04/2025 05:37

Nope. I feel like I've had a stroke or sudden onset dementia. This post is very strangely worded.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 27/04/2025 05:54

Hsve you had a bevvy or two? Don't unddrstand this at all
But from what I can glean, why on erth are you friends with her?

notatinydancer · 27/04/2025 06:08

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 27/04/2025 05:54

Hsve you had a bevvy or two? Don't unddrstand this at all
But from what I can glean, why on erth are you friends with her?

Or they’re all 12 ?

IndigoViolent · 27/04/2025 09:15

My work friend thinks you’re all nuts. My work friend agrees with me that you need to pull back, as even minor things about this woman are starting to annoy you. My work friend thinks it’s not really a friendship if you’re so annoyed over her preference of airline, or the fact that she refers to someone you met on a retreat as your retreat friend.

Original poster
Galwaygirlxxx · 27/04/2025 09:31

GiroJim100 · 27/04/2025 05:18

What a weird relationship. How can you have that much contact with her and yet know nothing about her personal life? What does she even talk about?!

Sounds like you really don’t like her so probably best to just let it fizzle out naturally.

It's bizzare.

She contacts me every single day yet I only see her once or twice a month

She will text me basic things like I'm going to Tesco but not tell me the important things

OP posts:
Original poster
Galwaygirlxxx · 27/04/2025 09:31

notatinydancer · 27/04/2025 06:08

Or they’re all 12 ?

Show quote history

We're mid 30s

OP posts:
Original poster
Galwaygirlxxx · 27/04/2025 09:33

EnhancedVampireEyeballs · 27/04/2025 02:43

Okay, but really, does it matter if she hasn't flown in three years? I get it, friendships evolve, and sometimes we outgrow people who we've been extremely close to. It's sad. The person I was best friends with, spent my whole childhood with, had my first sleepover with, has become someone I can barely recognise.

Did she really go berserk over EI versus FR? I mean I'd go EI any time, but I don't really care enough to lose the rag over it 😂

I'm not judging her for not going away. I don't know why she doesn't either she's on over 100k but anyway bizzare she doesn't know about the airlines at all. She's flown twice since 2017 😂

She also judges people who go to concerts saying they just go for the gram but doesn't go to gigs herself

OP posts:
Original poster
Galwaygirlxxx · 27/04/2025 09:34

Kittyfluff · 27/04/2025 05:37

Nope. I feel like I've had a stroke or sudden onset dementia. This post is very strangely worded.

It was 2 am and I couldn't sleep post 6 night shifts. No need to read.

OP posts:
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