Why do people do this?

[IwasDueANameChange]

I go to a sports/gym club with my family. Its a members place, a well known uk chain. Pool/gym/cafe etc.

There's 3 changing rooms. Men, women & Family. Family is mixed sex, so its where a dad can take daughters or mum sons. It has cubicles for privacy, cubicle showers etc.all the changing rooms have same lockers, hairdryers etc.

The men's & women's change are a bit more spacious and no one minds babies or young kids of either sex in there.

Women keep bringing quite big boys in the ladies. I know some of these kids as my kids are in swimming with them, they are 8-10 yrs old.

There are girls in the ladies with their mums who are this age. They do not want to be changing with those boys there! Some will be beginning puberty etc. These girls deserve privacy.

Why do people do this? There's a family changing room for women who feel their son isn't quite old enough to go in the men's by themselves.

Its quite common - what am i missing? Is there some glaringly obvious reason people think this is acceptable? I'd like to ask the club to put signs up asking people not to do this.

I thought it was 8 and under for boys also, as you say, there is a family area they could use.
I've not seen older boys (or men thankfully) in the women's changing area I use.

They’re still in primary school, probably having mixed swimming lessons all the time. Mums don1’ feel quite ready to leave their little boys alone in the men’s at that age.

Have you thought about asking them to use the family changing room? Or reporting it to staff, if you don't feel comfortable with confrontation?

Is the family room particularly busy?

The OP literally states there’s family changing rooms, so why aren’t the mums taking their sons in there instead of the women’s?

Primary school boys and girls get changed separately. They don't all get naked together

Maybe the kids have additional needs? I would say a child who doesn't need their mum to help them should of course go into the mens.

At age 8 and above NT ablebodied kids should be taught to scream for help if an adult or older kid tries anything they shouldn't. If mum is very worried about the risks she can wait outside the door of the mens to listen out..

Yanbu. I would have a word with staff and see if they can implement a rule where they have to use the family changing rooms. Not sure how they would police it. But maybe make it a policy.

There’s a family changing area which is mixed so they don’t need to.

I imagine it’s supposed to be under 8 OP, and it’s a bit grim so talk to the managers and ask them to stick up some signs, which you can then point out..

Why can't kids with additional needs use the mixed changing room with cubicles?

I hated sending my son into the men’s changing room alone (paedophiles don’t just target little girls) but in this case I agree they should use the family changing rooms.

Guessing the Mum's don't want to use family changing room as that will attract pervy men.

Or take them into family changing area which is mixed and private. That is what it is there for.

Those mums need to realise that the rest of us don’t want their precious little 10-year-old sons around while we’re changing.

I have a DS who is 9 but has additional needs. I am grateful that our local swimming pool has a "changing village" that is just a load of cucibles in one room as I can't imagine him managing in his own for a while yet.

I would feel very uneasy. When I was a young child, a 10 year old boy began abusing me and continued for years unsuspected by the adults around. They saw him as still a child and hadn't parented him appropriately regarding boundaries.

Guessing the Mum's don't want to use family changing room as that will attract pervy men.

The only people in there are parents with their own DC. There are cubicles. You can't really get any fairer than that!

Full disclosure i have an 8 year old boy, who hasn't set foot in the ladies since he was about 3 and would be horrified if i suggested he did.

I had this last week at a water park, mothers with boys far too old to be in the women’s changing rooms , also ignoring the family rooms . Just fuck off and use the appropriate facilities . I got changed in a shower cubicle and my dd squeezed in a toilet cubicle. No need.