@Toffeesgirl you're not wrong, and I'm sending you so much strength to get through it. It is the absolute pits of the earth. Lost my dad to Lewy Body Dementia, which is a bit different to other types of dementias as the main feature is that it fluctuates. So although the overall trajectory was downwards, my dad would go in and out of his demented state, and when he was lucid, he'd realise he was wearing incontinence pads and say things like 'what is happening to me, it's so degrading' and start crying. It was absolutely unbearable.
Now my mum, a sparky widow of eight years, is starting to forget things and repeat herself and be adamant that conversations we had a few hours previously never happened. It's just too terrifying and depressing to think about, so I try and block it out.
One thing I will say, which I know sounds dark, is that occasionally there will be funny moments and you just have to take them while you can and not feel guilty about laughing. My dad thought Theresa May had written to him instructing him to wear frilly knickers, he told an elderly neighbour he was going to take his trousers off and she was welcome to 'get an eyeful' (he was the straightest, most upstanding man you ever met) and thought it was hilarious to fart out loud in hospital waiting rooms.
But overall, yes, it was the worst time of my life.
Edited to say: sorry misread your post; you've already been through this with one parent so you don't need me to tell you how it is 💜