Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DC alone overnight

24 replies

50shadesofknackered · 26/04/2025 22:28

Dh and I have been gifted a night in a hotel for our anniversary about 1.5 hours away. This would mean leaving our 17 year old (nearly 18 year old) and 14 year old dd’s alone overnight. It will be the first time they have been alone overnight and they have both said they are fine about it. Dh and I are struggling with this a bit although I am starting to think we are being ridiculous as oldest dd is almost 18. Are we being ridiculous to worry about leaving them?

OP posts:
Oxide61 · 26/04/2025 22:30

If they are both happy with the arrangements, and you trust them both, go for it and enjoy your hotel!

Do you have a neighbour or relative nearby who can be on standby as an emergency contact?

purplecheesecat · 26/04/2025 22:30

Seems fine to me, just make sure you’ve clearly explained your expectations to them before you leave (e.g. no inviting people round) and that you’ll be easily contactable in case they need to get in touch with you.

TimeForABreak4 · 26/04/2025 22:31

It's absolutely fine. Have a good night.

MathsMum3 · 26/04/2025 22:31

One night, so you'll be away for approx 24 hours. They'll be fine, and potentially a nice sibling bonding experience!

Spaceracer10 · 26/04/2025 22:32

If you can trust them and they don’t fight

NotSafeInTaxis · 26/04/2025 22:33

I lived alone by 17. It you can trust an almost adult, something has gone wrong.

Trumptonagain · 26/04/2025 22:46

If they're sensible and get on fine they'll be ok.

One and a half hours away isn't to far for a first time left alone night for your DC.

Enjoy your day/evening and unless you get a phone call from either of your DC next morning threatening to knock each other out take time having a mooch around visiting places on route before returning home.

Original poster
50shadesofknackered · 26/04/2025 22:49

They are both happy, we will be contactable and able to come home if needed. I think it’s if there is anything that needs immediate action or if they need help straight away which worries us. They think we are crazy to be worried. They get on well and there won’t be anyone else coming over, they are trustworthy. Plus as NotsafeinTaxis said, she is almost an adult.

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 26/04/2025 22:49

It will be absolutely fine, as long as your 17 year old knows they must stay home with the younger one. You don’t want the 14 year old home alone.

Notashamed13 · 26/04/2025 22:54

I went on my first "mates" holiday to Ibiza at 17....... enjoy your night!!!

hulahooper2 · 26/04/2025 23:04

are you 100% sure they won’t tell friends they alone , heard lots of teenagers trying to get into ‘empties’ and wreck the house, if you are certain this won’t happen then it’s fine

Dramatic · 26/04/2025 23:09

I'm doing exactly this in May, leaving my (just turned) 18yo and 14yo for 2 nights. They are definitely old enough.

Original poster
50shadesofknackered · 26/04/2025 23:15

I'm sure they won't tell friends, and i am positive my 14 yr old would tell me if anything like that happened and we'd come home immediately.

OP posts:
friendsonly · 26/04/2025 23:15

Is your 17 year old going to uni? I would be more worried that they haven’t been left alone before now

Original poster
50shadesofknackered · 26/04/2025 23:16

It’s a relief to hear others of you are doing the same and I am not a terrible mother.

OP posts:
Endofyear · 26/04/2025 23:21

As long as they get along ok, I'm sure they'll be fine! Go and enjoy your night away ☺️

Labraradabrador · 26/04/2025 23:26

I was paid to babysit small children overnight at the age of 16. A 17 and 14 yo will be fine unless there are specific concerns.is there someone local who can be nominated ‘on call’ -mostly to ease your mind, but in case of any issues?

Gustavo77 · 26/04/2025 23:28

Of course you're not being ridiculous. Whoever gifted you the overnight is the ridiculous one. Parents don't leave their children, end of story.

Blackalice · 26/04/2025 23:30

Gustavo77 · 26/04/2025 23:28

Of course you're not being ridiculous. Whoever gifted you the overnight is the ridiculous one. Parents don't leave their children, end of story.

Are you serious??? At nearly 18??

Berry07 · 26/04/2025 23:33

Gustavo77 · 26/04/2025 23:28

Of course you're not being ridiculous. Whoever gifted you the overnight is the ridiculous one. Parents don't leave their children, end of story.

One of her children is almost 18. I had moved out and was at uni at 18. It would be a worry if a 17 year old couldn’t be left without parental supervision.

ICantPretend · 26/04/2025 23:36

I don't know. It would really depend on the sibling dynamic. 17 year old alone, absolutely. 17 year old in charge of the 14 year old, not so sure.

I'd be more comfortable if 14 year old was at a friend's, personally.

goodnightssleepbenice · 27/04/2025 00:00

Absolutely fine at that age , have a great night

Gymly · 27/04/2025 00:05

You know your children best. It depends on their relationship. It sounds like they get on and can trust each other, so I think it sounds fine.

However don't do it out of obligation to the gift giver. If you're not comfortable with it, don't go.

HundredPercentUnsure · 27/04/2025 00:19

ICantPretend · 26/04/2025 23:36

I don't know. It would really depend on the sibling dynamic. 17 year old alone, absolutely. 17 year old in charge of the 14 year old, not so sure.

I'd be more comfortable if 14 year old was at a friend's, personally.

I agree. This would be a good middle ground for me.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page