Toxic masculinity culture being pushed on young boys

Bababear987 · 2025-04-26T19:57:40+00:00

Was meeting a group of mums today and we got talking about the hardest parts of raising young girls and boys. As a boy parent I was saying how I detest when men say things about boys needing toughened up, not being allowed to cry or show emotion or play with certain toys that might be seen as feminine. It surprises me in 2025 that men and sometimes women still have these attitudes. I've heard them from people when my son was a newborn but now thinking as he gets older I'll need to challenge it more..... what do you reply to people?

Springadorable · 26/04/2025 21:05

I've never had this issue. My little boy plays dress up because spinning around in a dress is fun, and has a pram etc.. Never had any comments. I guess I'd say something like "he's a boy, and he quite clearly does play with a doll/cry/like glitter, and I'm pleased he does" if someone said that boys don't do xyz

GenderFluid90 · 26/04/2025 22:06

Yanbu. If you get anymore comments just tell them not to focus on ridiculous gender stereotypes. That stuff is all outdated now.

Ablondiebutagoody · 26/04/2025 23:51

I think it's unhelpful to class stereotypical boy's traits as toxic. I quite like my men not to be wetwipes.

Keirawr · 26/04/2025 23:54

The hysteria around toxic masculinity is in danger of becoming overdone at best and toxic itself at best.

It’s like a phrase that’s become fashionable to use. It seems that if we’re not obsessing about toxic masculinity these days, then we’re not ‘with it’. Almost like the woke movement where a new obsession becomes a cult. A new bandwagon.

tigerlily9 · 26/04/2025 23:56

I like to point out that most boys will see Dads pushing their babies in prams and not driving around in tanks so nothing wrong with playing with a pram. I don’t see men being told they can’t wear pink shirts or ties either…

Flytrap01 · 27/04/2025 00:05

back in the day for the educated types they had machivelli to study from to be the alpha leader etc then books on genghis khan, alexander the great and other leaders.

soupyspoon · 27/04/2025 00:08

Im not sure I have heard men or women tell a child to toughen up and stop crying because they're a boy

Im sure it must happen somewhere at some time, but I havent heard or experienced it. I dont believe its common

I agree that there is negative view of male traits in general and this is extremely damaging. Boys are different to girls, they often play differently and enjoy different things. That is a generalisation before people fall over themselves to dispute this. We ignore sex differences at our peril

BlondiePortz · 27/04/2025 00:11

It goes along with young girls who are being taught to be a helpless female as all women should expect a man to take care of them, we see examples of all sorts on here every day

In real life I just see children being raised the best they can by parents so not much stands out away from MN

Original poster

Bababear987 · 27/04/2025 15:17

Keirawr · 26/04/2025 23:54

The hysteria around toxic masculinity is in danger of becoming overdone at best and toxic itself at best.

It’s like a phrase that’s become fashionable to use. It seems that if we’re not obsessing about toxic masculinity these days, then we’re not ‘with it’. Almost like the woke movement where a new obsession becomes a cult. A new bandwagon.

Nobody is obsessing but toxic masculinity is a massive problem in society. My post is about young children, my baby who was 5m was told when crying he would need to toughen up... and I've friends with boys who have had the same/similar said but not those with baby girls.
So to push on young baby boys that they must be tough and not cry or show emotions is extremely toxic

OP posts:

Motherknowsrest · 27/04/2025 15:21

I never challenged it as it happened in the playground. I just made sure my kids weren't good friends with those types of parents and I avoided them like the plague. There's some proper thick parenting out there.

Motherknowsrest · 27/04/2025 15:22

I didn't type that very well did I. I meant I made sure my kids weren't friends with those kids and I avoided the parents.

Shitmonger · 27/04/2025 15:31

Bababear987 · 27/04/2025 15:17

Nobody is obsessing but toxic masculinity is a massive problem in society. My post is about young children, my baby who was 5m was told when crying he would need to toughen up... and I've friends with boys who have had the same/similar said but not those with baby girls.
So to push on young baby boys that they must be tough and not cry or show emotions is extremely toxic

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That is not an example of toxic masculinity. The baby was 5 months and could not understand, so it wasn’t actually directed at him at all and certainly wasn’t intended to force him into some specific type of masculinity.

Original poster

Bababear987 · 27/04/2025 15:52

Shitmonger · 27/04/2025 15:31

That is not an example of toxic masculinity. The baby was 5 months and could not understand, so it wasn’t actually directed at him at all and certainly wasn’t intended to force him into some specific type of masculinity.

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But it was because it was directed at his behaviour and how he should be programmed to be a certain type of way because he was born with a penis.

OP posts:

Keirawr · 27/04/2025 16:05

Bababear987 · 27/04/2025 15:17

Nobody is obsessing but toxic masculinity is a massive problem in society. My post is about young children, my baby who was 5m was told when crying he would need to toughen up... and I've friends with boys who have had the same/similar said but not those with baby girls.
So to push on young baby boys that they must be tough and not cry or show emotions is extremely toxic

Show quote history

Don’t know what circles you are mixing in. But 5 month boys being told toughen has never been a thing.

Swiftie1878 · 27/04/2025 16:30

Bababear987 · 27/04/2025 15:17

Nobody is obsessing but toxic masculinity is a massive problem in society. My post is about young children, my baby who was 5m was told when crying he would need to toughen up... and I've friends with boys who have had the same/similar said but not those with baby girls.
So to push on young baby boys that they must be tough and not cry or show emotions is extremely toxic

Show quote history

WTH? 5 month old crying being told to toughen up?!
Sorry - you don’t live in my world.

soupyspoon · 27/04/2025 16:31

Bababear987 · 27/04/2025 15:17

Nobody is obsessing but toxic masculinity is a massive problem in society. My post is about young children, my baby who was 5m was told when crying he would need to toughen up... and I've friends with boys who have had the same/similar said but not those with baby girls.
So to push on young baby boys that they must be tough and not cry or show emotions is extremely toxic

Show quote history

I simply dont believe you. Who told your 5 month old to 'toughen up'?

Springadorable · 27/04/2025 16:55

Sounds more like the company you keep is the issue as this is absolutely not a problem in most walks of life.

Maitri108 · 27/04/2025 17:01

@Bababear987

my baby who was 5m was told when crying he would need to toughen up

Who told a 5 month baby to toughen up?