New neighbours irritating me (irrationally)

[Hellskitchen24]

I need people to tell me AIBU.

I’ve lived next to an elderly lady for the best part of 10 years. She went into a nursing home a couple of months ago and the house went up for sale, which I dreaded. I never heard her and only exchanged pleasantries with her.

A new couple moved in a couple of weeks ago. They seem pleasant but just them being there is annoying me irrationally; they are in and out of the side of our houses all day, which makes me feel overlooked as the back of their property sits higher than mine. I can see them from my living room and the kitchen and it makes me feel like I’m being watched all day. They sit against my fence chatting away which winds my dog up so I feel like I can’t even let her in my garden in case she barks. I also feel like I can’t sit out there because they are out there gassing and it makes me uncomfortable. I am used to it being quiet all the time and now my space has been invaded. They are out there now drinking, I’m waiting for them to go in so I can let the dog out.

I am 38 weeks pregnant and on maternity so this is probably adding to my anxiety, just being in all the time but feeling “trapped” and watched in my own house. What can I do to help this please as I know this isn’t good for me!

Earplugs, carry on like normal and push through your anxieties. It is a big change for you, and the hormones like to play with us. Plus where now you are probably starting to have a bit of anxiety as baby arriving is imminent and feeling more real than ever, sometimes that worry can come out directed at other things. In this case, potentially the neighbours.

Carry on like normal, push through. Your dog will hopefully get used to them, if not use it as a training exercise.

For privacy consider blinds, or adding trellace to the top of the fence with some vine type plant.

Never mind being U, that's bonkers! Poor neighbours, they're just using their house normally.
You've been spoiled with a very quiet/ absent neighbour in the past and i expect it will all settle down soon.

Are you the same person who also doesn’t like them because they’ve done some building works? I think that poster was heavily pregnant too. If that’s also you, you really have to calm down about this. You’re going to make an issue in your head about it and relations will sour - I’m not sure you can be annoyed about them using their own garden

YABU but you just need to let the dog out and carry on as normal. You’ll get used to the noise and soon you’ll have a noisy baby then child playing outside and kicking a ball around (which is also fine) it’s just part of close living.

Can you put some voiles in the window so they can’t see you?

Let your dog in the garden, it will get used to them in time.

Of course YABU, but you know that already. They are doing nothing wrong -they are using their home and garden. It's a nice day, they are entitled to sit chatting in their garden. Your dog being wound up isn't their fault at all, nor is there garden being at a different level. I'd look into some screening if you can, either plants or trellis.

You know perfectly well you’re being deeply unreasonable, OP. You’ll adjust.

And you might even be a teensy bit glad if you have the kind of newborn who roars at the full pitch of his or her lungs for hours at a time.

It sounds like you are the one watching them all the time. They're just living a normal life in their own home.

I think it’s normal for a couple to move in to a new property and make full use of it - be out in the garden and enjoy their new garden, have guests round to show them the house, maybe even a couple of civilised parties to show off the house. Be in and out as they’re decorating / getting settled. It’ll die down honestly, the novelty will wear off and it’ll quieten down. Saying that though, even if they were just more sociable, or outdoor dinner kind of people then it’s not abnormal either - it’s not like they’re a nuisance by society’s standard - just yours.