Aibu to want to try for another baby?

[2025letsmakeitthebest1]

So my husband and I have been together for 3 years. I have 3 children from a previous marriage and he has 1. My first pregnancy I had pre eclampsia, 2nd was fine but ended with an emergency section and 3rd I had hyperemesis and my daughter was born 10 weeks early.
I am 38 now and cannot shake the feeling of wanting to have a baby with my husband. I just feel it would really help solidify our bond as a couple but also as a blended family.
i know all the children would love another sibling so no issues there. I’m just worried I’m too old 🤷‍♀️

To be fair if I wasn't 40 and he 48 when we got together as well as him having had a vasectomy I would have been tempted to try for a baby. I think it's a normal feeling but you need to use your head not your heart and make a sensible decision. I doubt you'll regret not having a baby especially as your kids get older.

Thank you for this

Thank you I hadn’t thought about it maybe being that surge. That makes sense to be honest. I was done and happy after my 3rd child and I honestly am so grateful for them in my life.
I think I’m realising that I’m getting to the end of my child bearing years and it’s just hard to get my head around and I don’t know why.

Kids are not construction plaster to "solidify your bond", you're a blended family not a house.

You're having a "last chance saloon" wobble - biological clock is ticking and your brain is going "have more kids now"

Concentrate on the children you have.

Thank you I think this is what I needed to hear. I am so grateful for the children we have between us. I’m having a wobble realising I’m getting older I guess.

I heard the term on here the other day and it nails the absolute driving urge to have children when in reality you don't need or want them. Ride it out, you're doing fine! It'll be ok

When mine came (the wobble) i was absolutely convinced I needed 3 boys and a girl (i had 1 son). I went through about 7 months of mania!

That’s exactly it, a sudden drive when I had decided I didn’t want any more. I think seeing quite a few people around us having babies spurred it on a bit. Then I got into thinking of the positives when in reality the negatives outweigh it all.
I’ve booked a weekend away with my hubby next week and I’m planning a full family day out tomorrow. Focus on those that are here now.

It might stick around for a bit, but just ride it out. I went mad, convinced that I needed 4 children around the dining table to make a happy retirement, it was nuts!

You're doing OK.

Thank you for the encouragement.

Sadly, the risk for pre-eclampsia reoccurring in subsequent pregnancies goes up with a new partner. It's a horrid thing to have, I can understand your concern about your health 💗

I didn’t realise that, I thought with a new partner and different mix of dna it would be a lower chance.
I think it’s my hormones trying to have one last party lol.

How on earth can people afford 5 kids in this economy?

I absolutely wouldn't consider it. Babies are so lovely but you already have 4 between you and you have had very complicated pregnancies. I think the risk is just too high and you need to prioritize your health and the ability to care for the children you have already.

With 4 children already I wouldn’t be having another one.

It sounds like a bad idea to honest. Especially after pre eclampsia in one pregnancy and a premature birth in another. It’s not fair to a potential baby but more so, to your existing children. And you already have 4 kids between you! It’s time to be grateful, and just enjoy the fact you don’t have to do all those hard bits, the throwing up, struggling finances of maternity, total change in intimacy after birth, struggles of toddler years, just to have a family together. You’ve been able to skip to the good bit, slightly older kids for more freedom and just able to enjoy you’re relationship for yourselves.