Worried about my three year old

[lookingforadvice22]

My three year old CONSTANTLY asks for food. She’s obsessed. I feed her nutritious, well balanced meals with plenty protein. I also give her snacks between. She asks me for food approximately every 5 minutes from the second she opens her eyes til the minute she goes to bed, crying for extra milk at bedtime.

I have made snack options boring as hell, all she gets is carrots, cucumber, dry crackers and fruit. She knows and accepts this is all she will get and even then she asks for it ever 5 minutes. I give her a snack approximately every two hours. So that’s about 100000 times of saying no before I finally say “ok now it’s snack time” and give her one of the boring options which she eats.

Honestly if I had an open snack policy she would eat constantly. She’s tall and big for her age but not overweight. I now feel really stressed about food with her, feel like I have to be quite controlling.

We were at a friends house the last 24 hours and my friend was clearly taken aback by the constant asking and took me aside at the end of the visit to say that they didn’t think it was normal.

Should I take her to the doctors? Any ideas of what this could be? Behavioural? Something medical underlying?

i think she’s always been like this… as far as I can remember.

What happens if you just ignore requests? Does she go to nursery? What’s she like there?

I do ignore her requests, distract, tell her “it will be snack time again in x time”, distract, ignore, tell her “it will be snack time again x time”, put her on time outs for asking….

then she just continues to ask every 5 minutes “can I have an apple?” “Can I have a cracker” “can I have a carrot” on repeat until it’s snack time, she gets her snack, eats it and then the asking every 5 minutes starts again

What's the reasoning behind making the snacks boring? If she's hungry, she's hungry 🤷🏻‍♀️ (absent any weight issues, obviously) I would be trying to add dairy/fat to the snacks, such as cheese, yoghurt, hummus, avocado etc to see if that makes a difference to her feeling full.

Haven’t spoken to nursery directly about it, I think I’m just used to it being my normal until my friend was clearly disturbed by it today and I felt a bit embarrassed. I know nursery report that she eats everything there but I haven’t asked in more detail.

I would just completely ignore any requests by responding your making it into an issue and in her mind when she gets a snack in the long run she has won. Present food at the set times and then don’t make any comments on it otherwise.

Like completely ignore her like I haven’t heard her speak? That feels cruel?

Are her meal portions definitely big enough? Can you tell a sample meal?

Thirst is often confused for hunger. Does she drink much?

I was going to suggest is she thirsty? What happens if you're out for the day, does she get distracted from asking constantly?.

Distract her with other things, maybe she’s just bored? If you’re out at the park or on a walk does she still constantly ask?

It is ok to say ‘no’ and just stick to snack times. However annoying it is I wouldn’t give in. Just keep telling her ‘no, it’s not snack time’. Eventually she will realise it’s not worth asking.

I would take her to the GP as it is not normal. Too when they are that young they can mistake a tummy ache for hunger, so the asking for food might be a symptom of gastric pain.

My kids definitely ask for snacks more whenever they’re bored. If I’m out for a day with them they don’t even realise that it’s got to lunchtime. If we’re at home snd not doing much it’s constant.

Yup very busy day morning at softplay where she came back to table every five minutes to ask for snacks and then museum where she continued to ask whole way round and had meltdown at cafe that we couldn’t have lunch there and had to wait til we were home.

I wasn't to preface this by saying I know absolutely nothing about this, I just happened to read an article about it recently online, but there is a genetic condition called Prader-Willi syndrome which I believe is characterised by excessive hunger all the time? But it may well have lots of other symptoms too, and may be something you have excluded, and I think it's really really rare so almost certainly not the case here.

But there may be other more common conditions which have this symptom as well, so I would say maybe GP as first port of call?

Probably it's just a habit she has got into - but I would take her to the GP personally, if only to put your mind at rest.

We try to stick to a timetable of eating rather than grazing (or I would be dishing out snacks constantly if all the DC ate at different times) but I would allow her to eat as much as she wants at those times. Obviously you get to pick what's on offer at those times, eg make the overall food choices balanced.

I don't like the grazing approach or me enforcing if they are hungry or not as I think it encourages them to ignore whether they are actually hungry and to eat when bored.

My DC go through phases of eating loads before they grow. Particularly ds who is tall for his age.

Agree with pp that encouraging drinks is also a good idea too

Is she getting enough protein and fat? 3 yr olds need plenty of both as they are growing so fast.
You don’t have to blank her when she asks, but you can say “When it is snack time I will tell you. You don’t need to ask.” You could also set a timer after breakfast and lunch and say “there is no food until the timer goes off”. It seems like a habit to ask and then eventually she is rewarded for asking, so it continues. Try and break the habit of asking.

My youngest has been like this. I spoke to nursery about their timings and copy them. I make sure portions are two of her hands size why and varied. I try to give her snacks that take time to eat.... so an apple with cheese (i don't cut her apples up). She soon became used to the routine and knows I won't give in. I distract instead, mainly with humour. She now tends to only ask around snack/meal times. I think perseverance is part of it.

Have you tried a visual timer? Like one of those clocks that which goes from red to white? It’s difficult for a child to tell time passing in figures. I’m not saying the constant hunger isn’t an issue, but it may stop her asking all the time. Quite a few conditions can cause hunger, so I’d check it out, but also 3yr olds can just be weird and kids are natural grazers.

Have you tried more filling snacks? Houma's on toast, half a sandwich, a small bowl of porridge etc? Does she eat her fill at meals and how big are they?

What's her diet like? Are her portions big enough? You talk about protein but young children also need lots of healthy fats and carbs as well.

She’s a big kid… very tall and sturdy although not overweight. I’m pretty clued up on diet and nutrition. I can’t think to list every meal but we eat normal, healthy meals including healthy fats, carbohydrates, protein and vegetables. She’s not malnourished, failing to thrive or starving.

I will make more of a point with drinks throughout the day, I think I will also take her to gp.

I thought today on drive home about prader willi syndrome…

If she’s still asking with such frequency when she’s busy and happily occupied , I’d get her checked. Prader Willi comes with other signs - behavioural and learning difficulties, poor muscle tone and poor feeding as infants, are just some. it’s pretty rare too. But I think she needs checking for possible causes. She could just be a very hungry kid with a big appetite (my nephew was like this and constantly ate . Was also eating adult sized amounts at around 3. He’s incredibly tall as an adult but no medical issues.

Mine isn't good at understanding body signals (you can look up interoception) so asks for snacks when he's hungry but also often when he's thirsty or needs a poo or is feeling anxious.

What’s her language like in general?

Is she asking because she can communicate and engage with you asking for food?

Can you engage you in games, chat about the weather?

its not normal to need that much food or be obsessed with it - I’d maybe get a click and out stickers on it at snack time and when she asks just point to the clock. Maybe if she’s
not getting any feedback she’ll ask for something else. The fact she is tantrumming or screaming or crying for food means it’s likely just a habit!

How is she with other body awareness e.g. knowing when she is hot or cold for example.
Google Interoception. Someone with difficulties in this area would not be aware if they were hungry or full for example.

https://www.kelly-mahler.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Interoception-Handout-FINAL.pdf

Sorry just seen earlier post
wasn't there when I started typing.

Get her checked for diabetes??