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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it was not an overreaction to call the police?

589 replies

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:12

We were out today at a family event. We were parked up in the car park of the venue and were getting in our cars to travel home. There was a man parked next to us in the (relatively narrow) bays, window down, chatting to his girlfriend. He was there when we came out and approached our car.

DD age 8 was getting into the back passenger side of our car, so on the same side as his car. I was on the other/driver’s side. As I was getting in, I heard DD start to scream. Basically the man next to us had started to move his car forward and his back wheel had run over the back of her ankle/foot.

I immediately ran round the back of the car, picked her up, helped her into the back seat and took her shoe and sock off to have a look. The top layer of skin had come off and it looked bruised so I went round to his car, said sorry, I think you have hurt her so I am going to need your details.

He and his girlfriend then said ‘Why? I haven’t done anything wrong’. I asked if he was refusing and he said he ‘didn’t even know what happened’ and started mouthing off.

So, I called 999 and of course the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details.

Two police cars then attended. DH is furious with me and says I completely overreacted as DD’s injury was minor (scrapes and bruises) and I ‘see the worst in everyone’. I am very upset about his lack of support when our child was hurt and upset.

FWIW I would never move my own car when a child was down the side and if I had ever done anything like this I certainly wouldn’t be mouthing off at the parent of the injured child!

So, was it an overreaction to call the police?

OP posts:
Original poster
hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:29

UpUpUpU · 26/04/2025 18:24

Was your husband there OP? Why was he not supervising your child getting in the car? Did he just jump in and leave a small child to potentially open the door into another car?

DD had actually got out of DH’s car (the other side of the man’s car) and was coming to get in mine.

There is no way this would have happened had I been in charge from the off as I would have made sure she was in the car before I started to get in. As it was, I was on the wrong side when it happened

OP posts:
ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:29

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:26

Normally, you'd be able to find the driver via the number plate - not so if it turned out to be a fake plate or a stolen vehicle. (There have been instances of those in my part of the country recently.)

In a situation where someone has been hurt and the driver is refusing to give his details, then I think that calling 999 is justifiable.

Show quote history

But the OP should've stood them down because she said...

"the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details."

This is the point where the OP needed to tell them there was no need to attend.

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:30

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:29

But the OP should've stood them down because she said...

"the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details."

This is the point where the OP needed to tell them there was no need to attend.

Show quote history

Too late, in my view - and there's no guarantee that he was giving the correct details.

WonderingWanda · 26/04/2025 18:31

Leaving the scene of an accident where you have injured a child is a perfectly reasonable reason to call 999, it's a crime in progress.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 26/04/2025 18:32

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:23

He definitely knew he had hit her as he was less than two feet away, window down, and she screamed in an alarming way as he ran over her Sad

Show quote history

He didnt try flee the scene as some posters have said? If he was reversing to leave, he heard your daughter scream/cry and stopped.
He must have sat in his car for a while if you had time to exit the drivers seat, assess your daughter and then approach him. I don't think he fully knew what had happened.

MumWifeOther · 26/04/2025 18:35

If I had been you, and seen a couple in car next to ours, I would have insisted either myself or my husband would have safely got the children in. Either one of us would have happened the door for the children before we go into the car ourselves.

HollyBerryz · 26/04/2025 18:35

I don't think you were unreasonable. Surely 999 wouldn't dispatch anyone if they didn't think it was necessary?

LuluDelulu · 26/04/2025 18:37

Absolutely right to call 999. Astonished anyone would think otherwise.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 26/04/2025 18:37

ExtraOnions · 26/04/2025 17:30

What did The Police do ? Or what did they suggest?

Was it a criminal offence? I’m not sure it’s a Civil one

Careless driving (doubtful it would constitute dangerous driving), and if not reported, leaving the scene of a road traffic accident where injury or damage occurred is also a criminal offense. OP absolutely did the right thing.

Donttellempike · 26/04/2025 18:38

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:27

This is all very interesting and food for thought! The dispatcher said it was very much a police matter and they were there in minutes. I’m not sure what calling a non emergency would achieve where I had an injured child and the other driver refusing to provide details?

On the fence about this, but if you have the drivers license plate you have their details. Insurers have databases of names and addresses against all number plates

The bloke sounded like a complete arse, but maybe the non emergency umber would have been preferable. That said, why on earth did he not wait until your daughter was in the car?? I’d have been furious too

LuluDelulu · 26/04/2025 18:38

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:29

But the OP should've stood them down because she said...

"the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details."

This is the point where the OP needed to tell them there was no need to attend.

Show quote history

Incorrect. They could have been false details. You are quite wrong on this score. The minute he tried to leave the scene of an accident without giving details, however minor, he was committing a crime worthy of a 999 call.

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:38

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:30

Too late, in my view - and there's no guarantee that he was giving the correct details.

Show quote history

There's never any guarantee for anyone ever, at any time though?

We can't all ring 999 just incase we're being given dodgy details?

adviceneeded1990 · 26/04/2025 18:39

I agree with you that it’s a police matter but not an emergency one. I’d have taken my phone out and very obviously taken a picture of his number plate while informing him that I’d be passing it on to the police. If that didn’t produce his details I’d have called the non emergency police number when home.

HollyBerryz · 26/04/2025 18:39

BoundaryGirl3939 · 26/04/2025 18:18

Both he and his girlfriend seemed to be confused, and were unaware that anything had take place. So I personally would give them the benefit of the doubt.
I wouldn't have approached their car all guns blazing. I would have explained that they had accidentally run over her foot (which was fine in the end), and allowed them to assess what was going on by viewing her foot. It also doesn't appear that he tried to flee the scene so I assume he was confused.
I get the vibe that you went on the attack straight away which meant the driver went on the defense. I know I shut down if I feel I'm being attacked out of nowhere.
Perhaps the police came because they thought the matter was far more serious than it actually was, and presumed your daughters foot was mangled.

Well that's even worse then isn't it. They've hit someone with a car and are unaware they've even done it

Naepalz · 26/04/2025 18:39

Sodthesystem · 26/04/2025 18:02

I don't see why you'd call the police unless it was deliberate.

Reads like the shit they do in the USA when they're trying to get a claim in.

Why would details be required. I mean he should have been apologetic and offer to go get a bandaid maybe but I wouldn't give some rando my details either. For all he knows you could be some vengeful psycho.

I can't phathom calling the police over something accidental. A minor one at that.

The law states that you have to advise the police if someone is injured by a car. Doesn't matter if it was "deliberate". Otherwise it is a hit and run which is a serious offence!
As the driver who has hurt someone, you are expected to both advise the police of an accident and give your details if asked, or provide them to police within 24 hours.

CampanulaMila · 26/04/2025 18:40

BoundaryGirl3939 · 26/04/2025 17:55

Your daughter was fine in the end. You may have come across as aggressive if you were demanding his details without him even being aware something had happened. I would have approached him differently and taken his reg details should he have chosen not to cooperate.

Insane attitude to take about a man who carelessly ran over a child’s foot and is very lucky the child’s injury wasn’t worse! Are you the driver?

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:40

HollyBerryz · 26/04/2025 18:35

I don't think you were unreasonable. Surely 999 wouldn't dispatch anyone if they didn't think it was necessary?

They were probably unaware the OP didn't need them anymore as he was giving his details, the second she started speaking to them.

LuluDelulu · 26/04/2025 18:40

Ridiculous that some people are minimising this. The main thing too is that you didn’t KNOW she didn’t have broken bones etc at this point!

YouBelongWithMe · 26/04/2025 18:40

Haven't read the full thread yet, but my mum reversed over my foot when I was about 12.

It took off the too layer of skin and was a bit swollen. Four days later my grandparents insisted I went to A&E and it was broken in two places.

Please get her x-rayed.

Parker231 · 26/04/2025 18:41

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:27

This is all very interesting and food for thought! The dispatcher said it was very much a police matter and they were there in minutes. I’m not sure what calling a non emergency would achieve where I had an injured child and the other driver refusing to provide details?

What did you want his details for?

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:41

Donttellempike · 26/04/2025 18:38

On the fence about this, but if you have the drivers license plate you have their details. Insurers have databases of names and addresses against all number plates

The bloke sounded like a complete arse, but maybe the non emergency umber would have been preferable. That said, why on earth did he not wait until your daughter was in the car?? I’d have been furious too

Show quote history

Unfortunately, our local community page has had a few incidents where it's turned out that a vehicle involved in an accident has been stolen. The only time that I can recall the miscreants being caught straight away was when a carful of teenagers ploughed into a line of parked cars.

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 26/04/2025 18:42

Bemused by the “You should’ve just taken his reg” and “When he started giving his details you should’ve have ended the call to the police” posts…
Who do you think she needs to give these details to? Couldn’t possibly be the police, could it??

The dispatcher said OP was right to phone. Bizarre that people who weren’t there and don’t work in emergency services think they know better.

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:42

Parker231 · 26/04/2025 18:41

What did you want his details for?

Show quote history

Why would you not?

CarolinaWren · 26/04/2025 18:43

Theroadt · 26/04/2025 18:24

I get the annoyance about no apology - still unsure from your description whether “mouthing off” is the aggression worthy of a 999 call. Why did you want his details? Sounds a bit like you’re sharking for an insurance claim, getting vengeful because the man brushed you off, or are generally a drama-lama or maybe a bit of all three. I think you and thd driver didn’t behave to your respective bests tbh. Sounds like you made a poor situation far worse for your daughter.

I agree with the OP’s DH and I can also see the other driver’s POV. While everyone needs to drive carefully in a crowded parking lot, it’s primarily the parents’ responsibility to ensure that their children’s safety around moving cars. It sounds like OP’s child was standing unsupervised between the cars and scraped her foot/ankle against something, probably the other car, but it’s highly unlikely that she was actually hit or run over. And, if someone in a parking space next to my car started screaming and demanding my insurance details, insisting I’d “run over” their child, when I knew I hadn’t, I’d definitely think they were a scammer planning to submit a fake insurance claim.

KeyWorker · 26/04/2025 18:43

He ran over a child foot and made out like he did nothing/ wouldn’t cooperate. I think ringing the police on 999 or 101is perfectly appropriate and the fact they attended immediately shows they do to.

I would be very disappointed with your DH. Is he not DD’s Dad?