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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it was not an overreaction to call the police?

589 replies

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:12

We were out today at a family event. We were parked up in the car park of the venue and were getting in our cars to travel home. There was a man parked next to us in the (relatively narrow) bays, window down, chatting to his girlfriend. He was there when we came out and approached our car.

DD age 8 was getting into the back passenger side of our car, so on the same side as his car. I was on the other/driver’s side. As I was getting in, I heard DD start to scream. Basically the man next to us had started to move his car forward and his back wheel had run over the back of her ankle/foot.

I immediately ran round the back of the car, picked her up, helped her into the back seat and took her shoe and sock off to have a look. The top layer of skin had come off and it looked bruised so I went round to his car, said sorry, I think you have hurt her so I am going to need your details.

He and his girlfriend then said ‘Why? I haven’t done anything wrong’. I asked if he was refusing and he said he ‘didn’t even know what happened’ and started mouthing off.

So, I called 999 and of course the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details.

Two police cars then attended. DH is furious with me and says I completely overreacted as DD’s injury was minor (scrapes and bruises) and I ‘see the worst in everyone’. I am very upset about his lack of support when our child was hurt and upset.

FWIW I would never move my own car when a child was down the side and if I had ever done anything like this I certainly wouldn’t be mouthing off at the parent of the injured child!

So, was it an overreaction to call the police?

OP posts:
Newmumhere40 · 26/04/2025 22:54

ambercabs · 26/04/2025 17:22

I think you called the police because he minimised what happened not because you needed their assistance. The man wasn’t very nice about it but tbh all you needed was the registration number of the car, if that. Your child did not have her foot/ankle run over - the wheel must have just caught her and no more. Why did you even think you needed his details?

Of course she did! He injured the child. Clearly the idiot can't judge space when driving his vehicle!

Newmumhere40 · 26/04/2025 22:55

Sleepalldaylong · 26/04/2025 20:10

Rubbish. No wonder kids today are so neurotic and have no resilience when parents make such a drama out of a non-event.

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This would be a non event if it was your child? Great parent.

Sleepalldaylong · 26/04/2025 22:57

Newmumhere40 · 26/04/2025 22:55

This would be a non event if it was your child? Great parent.

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Parents aren’t doing their kids any favours by making them feel that they should be traumatised by minor incidents. Not a good lesson for coping with real issues in life.

MDAC17 · 26/04/2025 23:15

Something along these lines happened to me once, I was the driver in slow moving traffic and a child walked out into the side of my car and grazed her foot off my back wheel, her parent insisted she was ok and only her shoe was scuffed but I phoned the police and asked them to attend as I had made contact with someone with my car and wanted reassurance that I had reported as necessary in the, probably unlikely, event that the parent/child wanted to make more of it later. The parents were a bit annoyed that I made them stay until the police came and took statements/breathalysed me etc but I wouldn’t have been happy to just drive off after what had occurred despite it not being my fault.

3luckystars · 26/04/2025 23:16

Fuck that. He injured your child and he is lucky all you did was call the police. Your husband is awful too and YOU WERE RIGHT.

you did not have an xray machine and didn’t know the full extent of the injury and the man was an idiot, had injured a little child and didn’t even admit it, not to mind offer medical assistance. YOU WERE CORRECT and I support you.

3luckystars · 26/04/2025 23:20

martinirossi · 26/04/2025 17:56

YANBU. Your husband most likely didn't like the fact that you were the one who sprung into action, while he was being ineffective. Men are socialized to see themselves as the protector of their family, and your husband realised in that moment he didn't know how to do that effectively. So instead of supporting you while you took appropriate steps, he tried to minimise the situation instead. I saw my dad do this a lot with my mum growing up. If a man acted rude to her or one of us kids, he would become frustrated not towards the man but towards my mum for 'making a scene'

I have experienced this and it’s absolutely awful. Either someone is on your side or they are not. In these moments it becomes clear.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 26/04/2025 23:21

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:24

Because the law says that if you cause injury in a car accident then the police should be called? As opposed to a collision with no injuries which is a civil matter

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Looks like loads of people are in the “don’t make a fuss” brigade.

You did the right thing OP! If he wasn’t aggressive then it might have been different, but he was likely to drive off. The police would have told you off for calling if it was a waste of time, but it wasn’t.

I’d be fuming with DH that his fear of upsetting a stranger takes precedent over his own DD?!

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 26/04/2025 23:23

Sleepalldaylong · 26/04/2025 22:57

Parents aren’t doing their kids any favours by making them feel that they should be traumatised by minor incidents. Not a good lesson for coping with real issues in life.

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Umm but it’s a great lesson that if someone RUNS over your foot with a vehicle it’s better to just be quiet and hobble home, especially when he shouts that he didn’t do anything and refuses to give details?! Ok 🤣

ACR7 · 26/04/2025 23:24

WiggyPig · 26/04/2025 22:18

You say you work in policing.... you're not a police officer are you? If you are then I guess you must get a rough time in cross examination 😂

999 is for when someone is in immediate danger or where there is a crime in progress as per the link someone posted above.

"He was clearly going to do something that is against the law"

You've just identified that there was "clearly" a crime in progress because as you say, he was clearly going to do something against the law.

So it follows that 999 was the appropriate route.

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breaking the law and an emergency are not the same thing. Definitely a police matter but not an emergency. He was breaking the law but could have been dealt with in slow time

3luckystars · 26/04/2025 23:28

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 26/04/2025 23:23

Umm but it’s a great lesson that if someone RUNS over your foot with a vehicle it’s better to just be quiet and hobble home, especially when he shouts that he didn’t do anything and refuses to give details?! Ok 🤣

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Yes and don’t bother the police or ambulance unless you are already dead.

Toughen up!!

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 26/04/2025 23:29

ACR7 · 26/04/2025 23:24

breaking the law and an emergency are not the same thing. Definitely a police matter but not an emergency. He was breaking the law but could have been dealt with in slow time

Edited
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What about breathalysing him? With vehicle incidents they likely want to do that at the scene.

Thisismetooaswell · 26/04/2025 23:31

I would always see my child into the car before getting in myself, especially with a car parked next to us. I think you should have opened their door and got them in before going to the other side to get in yourself. And I don't think it was a 999 matter. And then the police attended, spoke to the driver, but you don't know what happened because you left??

WiggyPig · 26/04/2025 23:31

ACR7 · 26/04/2025 23:24

breaking the law and an emergency are not the same thing. Definitely a police matter but not an emergency. He was breaking the law but could have been dealt with in slow time

Edited
Show quote history

Correct, they're not the same thing.

Do you understand the concept of either / or?

12345mummy · 26/04/2025 23:35

YANBU to call for Police assistance. I hope your daughter is okay now x

Cornishclio · 26/04/2025 23:36

You did not over react and if the man was refusing to give details then it was definitely a police matter. Your husband should have seen your DD over to your car though. The man could have driven forward just as she was crossing in front of his car. Car parks and young children need constant supervision.

RinkyDinkDrink · 26/04/2025 23:47

StarDolphins · 26/04/2025 22:05

This all sounds very dramatic and I think you overreacted. Yes she has scuffs/bruises but he’s not run over her foot. You sound quite neurotic and it will
pass down to your DD.

Let’s hope being mean to strangers who’ve been through something traumatic doesn’t pass down.

RinkyDinkDrink · 26/04/2025 23:48

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 26/04/2025 23:21

Looks like loads of people are in the “don’t make a fuss” brigade.

You did the right thing OP! If he wasn’t aggressive then it might have been different, but he was likely to drive off. The police would have told you off for calling if it was a waste of time, but it wasn’t.

I’d be fuming with DH that his fear of upsetting a stranger takes precedent over his own DD?!

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No they’re just mean, I’m sure they’re top-level fussmakers in real life!

Charel2girl5 · 27/04/2025 00:00

I have just skimmed through a lot of reactions here, some are mind bogging! Firstly my DH would have kicked off massively (usually an absolute laid back guy). Secondly, police without a shadow of a doubt, at least you have evidence if you want to peruse through civil court. Wishing you well. X

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/04/2025 00:01

@hottubwhocares you absolutely did the right thing here. I cannot believe people are saying this wasn't a 999 matter! It absolutely was, a crime was in progress which absolutely warrants 999. I sometimes wonder if those saying call the non-emergency line have ever had to call it before. I had to call it once and I was on hold for one hour waiting to get through.

You did the right thing, and was not an over-reaction. Very disappointing that your DH doesn't think his own child getting run over and injured by a car, whose driver then refuses to give his details, isn't a police matter. Hopefully he doesn't actually have a driving license, if he does, he needs to re-read the Highway Code.

FunMustard · 27/04/2025 00:08

The man ran over a child's foot and was going to leave the scene, which is illegal. I am completely baffled by those of you sniping at OP for using 999. I think most people whose child had been run over would have done that if I'm honest. I know I did (although for an ambulance) when my son was hit by a car, although the man didn't drive off.

The police are also allowed to say no, not a police matter, as they didn't, I'd say good for you OP.

sandyhappypeople · 27/04/2025 00:38

Newmumhere40 · 26/04/2025 22:54

Of course she did! He injured the child. Clearly the idiot can't judge space when driving his vehicle!

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In fairness, if it was his back wheel that hit her foot/ankle, it could be that she stepped back from her door as she opened it (about to get in) at the very moment he started to move, and she had inadvertently stepped back too far, so really was an accident, BUT he must have seen her moments before as she had just walked in front of his car and come down the side of it, so he should have just bloody waited or at least looked in his mirrors before pulling out.

I think the police was the right call with him refusing to give his details, if this was an 'after the fact' incident it would never be followed up, as he could just say he wasn't the one driving, or if he'd had a few to drink it would be out of his system, or if the car had no mot/insurance etc, or address details out of date (which OP said they were, which is an offence of it's own), I can't imagine the police wasting one second of their time tracking someone down or trying to prove anything, when there was no significant injury, it just wouldn't be worth their time.

Crazyworldmum · 27/04/2025 00:45

Any incident that has a injury should have police attend , so you did what you should . Plus a car going over her foot is massive , I wouldn’t be surprised if she woke up tomorrow with a massive bruise and was broken or seriously hurt . Plus he was at driving with correct caution so police could and should speak with him

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 27/04/2025 00:46

Leafy3 · 26/04/2025 17:52

It was, and the police themselves said so.

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Wrong. The despatcher told OP it was a "police matter" NOT that it was a 999 matter. A subtle but very important distinction which 99% of posters on here are not getting.

The despatcher made this statement because OP told the despatcher her child had been "run over". This was also wrong - the child had been grazed by a car wheel passing her heel.

It was a 101 "police matter" NOT a 999 "police matter".

Eggtoastie · 27/04/2025 00:56

Well can't the police decide that? I'm sure if they get a 999 call they still rank them in order of priority. 101 might get back to you in a day or two. This wouldn't have been appropriate in this situation if he was actually leaving the scene of an accident

BoldRed · 27/04/2025 00:57

Insane that so many posters are insisting ‘her foot wasn’t run over’ despite not being there. I once ran right over my sister’s foot (by accident obviously!) and while it hurt and she was bruised, her foot wasn’t flattened or severed! The kids, who were in the car at the time, often reminisce about the time mum ran over Aunty X’s foot.

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