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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it was not an overreaction to call the police?

589 replies

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:12

We were out today at a family event. We were parked up in the car park of the venue and were getting in our cars to travel home. There was a man parked next to us in the (relatively narrow) bays, window down, chatting to his girlfriend. He was there when we came out and approached our car.

DD age 8 was getting into the back passenger side of our car, so on the same side as his car. I was on the other/driver’s side. As I was getting in, I heard DD start to scream. Basically the man next to us had started to move his car forward and his back wheel had run over the back of her ankle/foot.

I immediately ran round the back of the car, picked her up, helped her into the back seat and took her shoe and sock off to have a look. The top layer of skin had come off and it looked bruised so I went round to his car, said sorry, I think you have hurt her so I am going to need your details.

He and his girlfriend then said ‘Why? I haven’t done anything wrong’. I asked if he was refusing and he said he ‘didn’t even know what happened’ and started mouthing off.

So, I called 999 and of course the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details.

Two police cars then attended. DH is furious with me and says I completely overreacted as DD’s injury was minor (scrapes and bruises) and I ‘see the worst in everyone’. I am very upset about his lack of support when our child was hurt and upset.

FWIW I would never move my own car when a child was down the side and if I had ever done anything like this I certainly wouldn’t be mouthing off at the parent of the injured child!

So, was it an overreaction to call the police?

OP posts:
BetterWithPockets · 26/04/2025 21:06

CantStopMoving · 26/04/2025 21:03

That people can get run over and not get fractures

Show quote history

But that’s not what your original point was. You originally implied I was ‘saying the severity of the injury is important rather than the offence’. At least be consistent!

Orangemintcream · 26/04/2025 21:08

I think a lot of people think 999 is only for emergencies. This isn’t true - it is also for when a crime is in progress or has just been committed.

CantStopMoving · 26/04/2025 21:09

BetterWithPockets · 26/04/2025 21:06

But that’s not what your original point was. You originally implied I was ‘saying the severity of the injury is important rather than the offence’. At least be consistent!

Show quote history

it Is nothing to do with the original point. You replied to the person above you’s comment

johnd2 · 26/04/2025 21:09

The way this thread has gone is wild and not in a good way!

From https://www.gov.uk/contact-police

"Call 999 if you are reporting a crime that is in progress or if someone is in immediate danger."

Given you had reasonable suspicion that a crime was in progress and the offender was nearby, plus it involved an injury, I think you were within the spirit even if not the letter of the guidelines to call them. And even if not, you're hardly going to be top of the misuse and abuse list.

Contact the police

Contact the police by calling 999 to report emergencies or by calling 101 for non-emergencies

https://www.gov.uk/contact-police

latelydaydreams · 26/04/2025 21:09

So, it’s a road traffic offence.

Leaving the scene of an accident when someone is injured without giving details ( regardless of the type of injury) is an offence.

Now from a police point of view. What would be someone’s motivation for deciding to leave the scene of an accident without providing details.

MOST people who thought they had injured a child would be mortified, and want to do anything they could to help/mitigate.

Driver’s reaction therefore is off….. and WHY might that be? No insurance, not qualified to drive? Under the influence? Something else?
If you’re not bothered about the law in one area then there is a fair chance there are other bits of the law you’re equally unfussed about.

So, regardless of the ‘seriousness’ of the injury, calling 999 was exactly appropriate.

dogcatkitten · 26/04/2025 21:10

I think 999 was correct if he was being aggressive and had already injured your child. Had he been totally apologetic then no.

Gustavo77 · 26/04/2025 21:11

A complete overreaction. You can't assuage your own guilt at not looking after your daughter properly by blaming someone else. It's more than possible that he didn't see or hear her, it's not something he would have done deliberately.
Well done on making a mountain out of a molehill and making the whole thing significantly worse and more traumatic for your daughter

rrrrrreatt · 26/04/2025 21:13

I think you did the right thing calling 999. The police must have too because they attended quickly which is pretty rare these days!

He committed a crime and the fact he said he didn’t see your daughter is concerning. He could have been lying but, if he was telling truth, it could be due to being unfit to drive due to drink or drugs. Not sharing his details is suspicious too; he could have been uninsured, driving a stolen vehicle or without the owners permission.

You’re not qualified to assess any of those risks - the police are. If he’d left the car park without any intervention, he could have done more serious harm to someone else.

BetterWithPockets · 26/04/2025 21:14

CantStopMoving · 26/04/2025 21:09

it Is nothing to do with the original point. You replied to the person above you’s comment

Show quote history

I did. But I’m not a mind reader. If you’re now trying to pick me up on something else, at least quote what you’re trying to pick me up on. If you only quote our exchange, how am I meant to know you’re referring to something else??

Sleepalldaylong · 26/04/2025 21:14

Gustavo77 · 26/04/2025 21:11

A complete overreaction. You can't assuage your own guilt at not looking after your daughter properly by blaming someone else. It's more than possible that he didn't see or hear her, it's not something he would have done deliberately.
Well done on making a mountain out of a molehill and making the whole thing significantly worse and more traumatic for your daughter

Agreed

AliBaliBee1234 · 26/04/2025 21:18

In Scotland we have a line for more minor police issues and i don't think it was a 999 emergency tbh. Take his plate down...

Did she need to go to hospital etc?

Zebracat · 26/04/2025 21:21

I think you were absolutely brilliant. You protected your child without escalating the situation. The other driver either failed to check it was safe to proceed or recklessly endangered a child. I hope she makes a full recovery. Hero Mum!

WhenWillItAllGetBetter · 26/04/2025 21:22

What a weird thread, a child was run over but everyone’s falling over themselves to say it’s not a police mater 😳

ApolloandDaphne · 26/04/2025 21:23

Honestly people on here are a bit holier than thou about calling 999. You were absolutely in the right. You needed prompt police response and you got it.

Sleepalldaylong · 26/04/2025 21:23

Zebracat · 26/04/2025 21:21

I think you were absolutely brilliant. You protected your child without escalating the situation. The other driver either failed to check it was safe to proceed or recklessly endangered a child. I hope she makes a full recovery. Hero Mum!

You can’t escalate much more than dialling 999

AliBaliBee1234 · 26/04/2025 21:26

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:27

This is all very interesting and food for thought! The dispatcher said it was very much a police matter and they were there in minutes. I’m not sure what calling a non emergency would achieve where I had an injured child and the other driver refusing to provide details?

You would have been able to get a call through to the police and not tie up a very important emergency line / resources?

Purplesy · 26/04/2025 21:28

OP you 100% did the right thing in the moment.
He clearly ran over her foot and would have known.

Your husband is a moron.
Do not doubt yourself.

BlueTitShark · 26/04/2025 21:28

Sleepalldaylong · 26/04/2025 20:29

Traumatising? That’s an insult to people who have suffered trauma

Show quote history

I suffer PTSD type of trauma.
I think that a car running over your foot is a traumatic event for a child.

LemonViewer · 26/04/2025 21:28

You one hundred percent did the right thing. Something happened to me when out with my two children once (prefer not to go into loads of details but DS then 6 was hurt by a member of the public - but not to the extent that it was a medical emergency). I went into shock and my instinct was to just get my children away from the situation/individual as they were intimidating and my son was scared (also had DS2 who was only 1 at the time) so I got the kids away asap but then called the non emergency police number shortly after. It was a complete waste of time calling 101, they came around about a week later were totally unhelpful and told me I should've rang 999 at the time. DS was fine by then and had started to forget the incident so we decided to all just put it behind us. I've always felt guilty though and that I had somehow under reacted by not calling 999 and therefore not protected my child enough or could've handled it better.

In my opinion you did exactly the right thing.

BeingScouseIsMySuperpower · 26/04/2025 21:32

Don’t worry about it.

Whilst you are keeping the police busy, there’s less of them available to harass women who believe in science and are harassed by the law for thinking someone with a penis is a man.

Whoarethoseguys · 26/04/2025 21:32

Hoardasurass · 26/04/2025 17:33

Yes its a criminal offence he ran over a child's foot and refused to give his details and that's hit and run

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He didn't. If he had her foot would be broken. It sounds as though the edge of the wheel scraped her foot. Still scary for a child of course.

Saltandvinegarchipstick · 26/04/2025 21:33

I’ve been told by the police after calling the non-emergency number that if the crime or potential crime is still in progress, to call 999. You don’t call for an ambulance for a minor injury but the same doesn’t necessarily apply to fire or police.

Ottersmith · 26/04/2025 21:35

Those saying you shouldn't call 999 unless it's an emergency.. have you ever tried to call a police non emergency number? They just don't answer. Let them decide how important it is, if they have more important things to attend to, they would go to them first. Services are bad, but colluding with that fact by not accessing these services isn't going to help them get more funding. It reminds me of being in Manchester where no one reports anything to the police because 'they won't do anything' well let them decide, the crime needs to be reported for statistical purposes. If this fucker drives off when there is a kid next to his car, it needs to be on his record.

Saltandvinegarchipstick · 26/04/2025 21:37

A crime doesn’t have to be done deliberately, it’s still a crime. And shaming the OP “for not looking after their child properly” is wild. Hope I’m never parked next to you.

Ottersmith · 26/04/2025 21:38

AliBaliBee1234 · 26/04/2025 21:26

You would have been able to get a call through to the police and not tie up a very important emergency line / resources?

Show quote history

Have you tried to call that number? They don't answer.