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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it was not an overreaction to call the police?

589 replies

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:12

We were out today at a family event. We were parked up in the car park of the venue and were getting in our cars to travel home. There was a man parked next to us in the (relatively narrow) bays, window down, chatting to his girlfriend. He was there when we came out and approached our car.

DD age 8 was getting into the back passenger side of our car, so on the same side as his car. I was on the other/driver’s side. As I was getting in, I heard DD start to scream. Basically the man next to us had started to move his car forward and his back wheel had run over the back of her ankle/foot.

I immediately ran round the back of the car, picked her up, helped her into the back seat and took her shoe and sock off to have a look. The top layer of skin had come off and it looked bruised so I went round to his car, said sorry, I think you have hurt her so I am going to need your details.

He and his girlfriend then said ‘Why? I haven’t done anything wrong’. I asked if he was refusing and he said he ‘didn’t even know what happened’ and started mouthing off.

So, I called 999 and of course the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details.

Two police cars then attended. DH is furious with me and says I completely overreacted as DD’s injury was minor (scrapes and bruises) and I ‘see the worst in everyone’. I am very upset about his lack of support when our child was hurt and upset.

FWIW I would never move my own car when a child was down the side and if I had ever done anything like this I certainly wouldn’t be mouthing off at the parent of the injured child!

So, was it an overreaction to call the police?

OP posts:
Brocsacoille · 26/04/2025 17:17

I think 999 is only for an emergency. She wasn’t badly injured and you didn’t need immediate assistance. You should have called the non-emergency number and taken his number plate.

You used 999 as a threat to get him to give his details, rather than because there was a genuine emergency. For that I am with your DH.

SwanOfThoseThings · 26/04/2025 17:18

What did the police do when they arrived?

Wowzel · 26/04/2025 17:18

No, because he had no intention of providing his details

Different if he'd apologised, shown any remorse...

TidyDancer · 26/04/2025 17:19

My gut feeling is that you’ve overreacted but to some extent it’s understandable when you’ve had a fright.

When you say he was mouthing off, what did he actually say?

purplecorkheart · 26/04/2025 17:20

I don't think it was a 999 issue to be honest. Certainly take a photo of reg plate and the scene but 999 was an over reaction (understandably, it was your child).

myplace · 26/04/2025 17:21

He ran into a child and was going to happily drive off. I think it was a police issue. What did they say? They were quick….

I would say when things are calm you need to chat to your DH about his fear of causing a fuss. Mine is the same. It meant I was afraid to go out if the dc were ill as I didn’t trust him to recognise an emergency.

Original poster
hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:22

He was mouthing off by saying he hadn’t done anything, when he had clearly run over her foot.

When the police arrived they took him to their police car then went to look at the CCTV footage so I’m not sure what happened after that (we left as DD was very upset and it wasn’t helping her calm down)

But yes, it was only the police call that made him finally offer his details. He wasn’t exactly contrite!

OP posts:
ambercabs · 26/04/2025 17:22

I think you called the police because he minimised what happened not because you needed their assistance. The man wasn’t very nice about it but tbh all you needed was the registration number of the car, if that. Your child did not have her foot/ankle run over - the wheel must have just caught her and no more. Why did you even think you needed his details?

Original poster
hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:22

myplace · 26/04/2025 17:21

He ran into a child and was going to happily drive off. I think it was a police issue. What did they say? They were quick….

I would say when things are calm you need to chat to your DH about his fear of causing a fuss. Mine is the same. It meant I was afraid to go out if the dc were ill as I didn’t trust him to recognise an emergency.

Yes this is exactly it with DH!

OP posts:
BethDuttonYeHaw · 26/04/2025 17:23

YANBU to call the police

YABU to call 999

non emergency number was appropriate. 999 was completely wrong.

birdling · 26/04/2025 17:23

He ran over someone. If she hadn't screamed, would he have continued obliviously? Possibly.
I don't think you over reacted under the circumstances of him refusing to give his details.
If his attitude had been different, that would have been another matter.

Couldyounot · 26/04/2025 17:23

Your husband is almost as much of an idiot as the guy in the car

Original poster
hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:24

ambercabs · 26/04/2025 17:22

I think you called the police because he minimised what happened not because you needed their assistance. The man wasn’t very nice about it but tbh all you needed was the registration number of the car, if that. Your child did not have her foot/ankle run over - the wheel must have just caught her and no more. Why did you even think you needed his details?

Because the law says that if you cause injury in a car accident then the police should be called? As opposed to a collision with no injuries which is a civil matter

OP posts:
IdaGlossop · 26/04/2025 17:24

At a time when we know that public services are run down, I think we all have a duty to think carefully about how we use them. 999 is a number for emergencies. This wasn't an emergency. You are also sending an odd message to your DD that the response to her being hurt and upset is to call the police. Why not an zmbulance?

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 26/04/2025 17:26

So he was driving without due care and attention, tried to leave the scene of an accident without supplying his details, then got aggressive when you asked for his details? I can certainly see why you felt 999 was appropriate.obviously the call handler also felt it was appropriate as you got an almost immediate response, it would have been given a much lower priority if they hadn't judged it appropriate.

Original poster
hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:27

This is all very interesting and food for thought! The dispatcher said it was very much a police matter and they were there in minutes. I’m not sure what calling a non emergency would achieve where I had an injured child and the other driver refusing to provide details?

OP posts:
ScrewedByFunding · 26/04/2025 17:28

He wasn't going to stop at the scene of an accident, absolutely right to call 999. We had similar when a car clipped my son on the pavement by our house. They drove off so we called 999 and DH is a police officer who made the call!

ExtraOnions · 26/04/2025 17:30

What did The Police do ? Or what did they suggest?

Was it a criminal offence? I’m not sure it’s a Civil one

TheMumEdit · 26/04/2025 17:31

I would have reported it not but on the non emergency line. That was an over reaction.

DUsername · 26/04/2025 17:31

If it wasn't a 999 matter then they wouldn't have attended, let alone so quickly surely?

I can't believe your DH was furious anyway. Even if he felt police weren't necessary, he's surely furious with the wrong person? It's entirely fucked up that he's angry with you not the idiot who hurt his child!!

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 17:32

He couldn't possibly have actually run over her foot without breaking it.

It sounds as though the wheel scuffed her foot.

Painful but I'm not sure 999 was necessary. I would've just taken his car reg and given it to 101.

I hope your DD is feeling better.

Hoardasurass · 26/04/2025 17:33

ExtraOnions · 26/04/2025 17:30

What did The Police do ? Or what did they suggest?

Was it a criminal offence? I’m not sure it’s a Civil one

Yes its a criminal offence he ran over a child's foot and refused to give his details and that's hit and run

2chocolateoranges · 26/04/2025 17:33

I agree with your husband, you over reacted. Personally when in a car park I would always go to the side my children were getting in the car so I could hold the door in case they bumped someone else’s car or in case someone went to move their car. A small child isn’t as noticeable as an adult.

you’ve said it was scrapes and bruises not an emergency , the police are stretched at the best of time.

Advent0range · 26/04/2025 17:35

How is your DD now?

UpUpUpU · 26/04/2025 17:35

Personally, if the cars were that close together that she apparently had her foot run over, why was there not an adult with her to help her with the door?

I hope she is OK OP, but it all seems a bit dramatic calling 999. If he was being a dick I'd have taken his number plate and called the non emergency number.

Where was the CTV from and what did the police do?