Dd14 - aibu to be worried

[Juliahuliah]

Some of you may remember my post the other day
dd14 was having false rumours about her spread by a boy 2 years older than her in response to her telling him she didn't see them progressing.
we have reported this to school
but I am seriously worried about dd she is refusing to do anything with me , won't see her friends snd is holding herself up in her room alone. She won't go to the gym and is scared of seeing him when out. She is convinced he will shout the horrible rumours he has made up about her out in public - which are really vile

do I let this ride out naturally and just support her

school are keeping an eye on this
she is just completely not her self I think she has Been emotionally abused by him as it transpired they were having a relationship and she was scared of him

I would be worried by this. I think I would try to have an honest open conversation with her about how you are worried about her, ask how you can help etc. See if you can get her to talk to you.

Would she talk to someone other than you? Trusted relative, friend or a professional?

I have a counsellor organised for next week
she is on the pathway for camhs
she has told me some stuff she does open up but I just can't seem to help her

if she wants to be in her room fine but keep her off social media.
ask her if she'll join you even if just for groceries, it might not be totally up her alley but "fresh air" at a large park, or mom/daughter mani pedi's, or lunch somewhere where is fellow will not be such at one town over or the next city.

When our DD experienced abuse at school, it took her a long time to fully disclose the details. Even though we could tell there was something badly wrong. In the end it was the understanding that she would have to disclose to get stronger action taken by her school, that did it. She disclosed to the school DSL, but with a close girl friend there in support. She had had strong feelings of shame and mis-placed guilt. We continually reassured her of our love and support, whatever had happened would not change that. We would not judge her, and believed in her as an innocent victim. This has helped to get her to accept our support to get through all this.
Being always available to her, but not pushing her too hard before she was ready to disclose, was really hard.
The school should be all over this kind if harassing behaviour, and certainly should have talked to the boy’s parents. Our experience is that we had to push the school hard to get what should have been automatic.
Good luck!