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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

1 year ignores me over grandparents

28 replies

ChocolateIsAnAddiction · 25/04/2025 23:35

Just wandering if others have experienced this. My LG is about to turn one and has recently started to completely ignore me when grandparents are around. Honestly it’s like a barely exist when they are there. Although initially it really threw me I was happy she was building bonds outside of my husband and I. However the more and more it’s happened I’ve found myself getting really upset. Generally I find it ok when LG gets on this way when I’m with my own mum. Plus my mums been pretty sensitive about handling it and is great at reminding me that I’m her constant.
I struggle really bad however when it is my MIL (who delights in her being the centre of my babies attention over me) Today my LG kicked off because she wanted my MIL to hold her and not me. LG barely came near me at all. Just feeling so deflated. I know this is a phase and of course I know she loves me but the rejection of me over my MIL has really knocked me. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. Perhaps even some advice on how to deal with this phase. Tbh I think I just need to know I’m not the only one.
If you’ve read through this all thanks for taking the time to read through my ramblings.

OP posts:
Hebfgusa · 26/04/2025 17:41

beAsensible1 · 26/04/2025 13:50

but as a parent you know in real life that it’s not the case.

your child lives with you 24/7 and sees their GP a couple of times a month. So what if they say that, theyre clearly delusional

Oh yeh, but normally you avoid delusional people or call them out on it. But often you have to tolerate this, and sometimes the person in question is clearly in the wrong. That's alright in itself. Often we have to tolerate others but in the first year of your child's life you are learning how to parent, everything is changing and often you are sleep deprived.

Whilst I agree with you, I also understand how the op could be feeling like this and not be unreasonable.

JandamiHash · 26/04/2025 17:45

YABVU

What a lovely bond to have to be so close to her GPs.

Utterly ridiculous to have the double standard of you thinking it’s fine when your mum is being adored but not your MIL.

Your Dd shouldn’t have to pay for whatever v
grievance you obviously have about your MIL. She’s a child, not your possession, enjoy the fact she’s formed such a loving bond with family members.

JandamiHash · 26/04/2025 17:47

Theunamedcat · 26/04/2025 07:29

Of course it's going to upset you but it's most likely a phase and will switch over the opposite way soon enough

Your mil doesn't sound nice relishing in it that's actually quite mean

Is the MIL supposed to be embarrassed her GD enjoys her company?

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