to wish friends would be more flexible/thoughtful?

[CorkBottlePink]

First World issues...

Friend A: asks, at least once a month, to go out for a drink. Then has a cup of hot water (takes own herbal tea bag) and says she can't drink anything after 8.30pm. So doesn't spend any money at the pub, but expects to be accommodated.

Friend B: is always very keen to go out for dinner, but won't go anywhere when she has to order after 7pm. If we can't book a table until 7.15pm, she says she can't go. This is when she doesn't have work the next day, btw.

Friend C: will only really talk about herself. Interrupts anyone and steers the conversation back to talking about herself. Frustrating.

I would never go out with friend a

friend b I’d got out with if I I actually enjoyed spending time with her

friend c I’d go ut with every now and then with if it was to somewhere I wouldn’t go

You need new friends.

Say what, now?

Friend D: has to turn everything into an "Insta Moment". She came over to feed my cat and even that was put online. Always taking selfies

C would be a non-starter for me, how tiresome these people are.

A - this would make me uncomfortable. I would invite her to mine for a cheap and lowkey catchup

B - I think this is a fine line to have, if I eat rich food too late I tend to overheat at night and have interrupted sleep so I get it. Maybe just try and plan further in advance to secure the reservations at places you want

C - sounds like she is either very needy and going through a hard time right now and needs more support/focus, or that she isn't the greatest friend

Well.

You're the one sitting down compiling lists of friend faults.

Are you perfect?

I would be so embarrassed by friend A.

Get new friends? They all sound awful!! B I could maybe agree with as am in throes of non sleeping toddler so would want to be eating dinner by 7!

Of course not. I'm a human.

She doesn't have any DC. Lots of pets to look after though

Friend A - this would be a daytime meet up for me

Friend B - late lunches with wine

Friend C - comedy nights, bands/gigs

I do relate though. What do you like to do when meeting friends?

Where are you finding these people?!

I used to be into intermittent fasting, and eating after 6pm would be a deal breaker for me.

Friend B I have sympathy with as if I eat late I have to stay up to take evening meds and get very little sleep.

Friend A sounds more like a coffee shop friend than a pub friend.

Are you seeing all these friends together or separately?

I would start doing late lunches. Meet somewhere at 2pm with a nice view for insta-friend, separate bills; everyone home by 5. I love a nice gossipy long lunch with friends.

Why are you friends?

I get friend B- with a table at 7 by the time you’re seated, everyone sees the menu, order etc the food won’t be at the table by 8 at the earliest and won’t be done before 9 (specially if more than 1 course). This is too late for many people as affects sleep, digestive issues etc. in fact, I refuse dinners that are booked after 6-6:30 as it sets me up for a very uncomfortable night and difficult day the next day due to poor sleep.
friend a- I don’t get what her deal is. Maybe meet for walks etc where you don’t have to sit down and drink/eat?
friend c- if you enjoy her company but in small doses may be see her once in a while?
friend d- I personally can’t do those. I had one of them and dropped them as was too exhausting. Every outing was staged and online.

I don’t think I’d actually be friends with any of these people in the first place. They all sound like they’d be very different people to me, and I doubt we’d get on very well.

I might be able to deal with C if she talked about herself in a way that was particularly funny and entertaining, I suppose.

A and B would not be my kind of people.

Yes, either find things that do work for you both or don't bother.

It doesn't seem like you like any of them very much.

There’s nothing wrong with friend B.

I’m teetotal but friend A is being a miserly twat. Tell her you don’t like drinking alone so let’s take a rain check on hot water drinks.

And expects to be accommodated by the venue even though she spends zero money? And does she also expect you to accommodate her with a lift or something?

Person C would no longer be a friend of mine.
Person D probably not either, or I’d tell them photos of you /your pets are off limits.
Person A + B I’d meet up with if I like them, but I probably wouldn’t go to the pub with A, I’d just meet up at home. And I have no issues with B. If they’re otherwise nice and I enjoy their company I’d work with their time. (Is it that they want to be home early or can they not eat late due to digestive issues?).

yep, team friend B here

all 3 sound absolutely batshit.
Time for some new friends