“D” partner being selfish ?

[TheThreeMiracles]

I’m at the point of breaking 😩 is my partner selfish or am I being an idiot ?
he seems to question most things for example tonight my little boy leaked in his car seat and I asked partner if he could carry the seat in for me when I got home, when I got home he came out and asked “ why do you need the seat brought in “ he can never just say yeah sure it’s like I have to say why so he can agreee with me or disagree !
tomorrow he’s going to help his mum lift some “ heavy “ items in her house yet I’ve been asking for weeks if he’ll help me sort out the nursery for our baby due in 7 weeks, there’s stuff in the cot that is quite large and not really something I should be lifting, this hasn’t been done ready for our baby but he’ll go and help his mum who does nothing but create issues in our relationship, just this week I sent a message about how she treats me and how I’d like it to be sorted so we can get along etc and alls I got back was how awful I’ve made her feel and how she can’t talk to me right now ! But off he goes as if nothing has happened! I really needed him to sort the baby things out so we can be ready and prepared ! I’m 32 weeks measuring ahead exhausted and feel like he will only come to scans etc no help any other way, but he has to be seen as important at the important appointments !

tonight he put ds dinner on as dd was at gymnastics and I got a text to say “ do you need dinner “ like I wouldn’t want dinner ! Doesn’t everyone have a dinner every night ?

and to top it off he’s brought himself 4 cold cans of beer to enjoy but no caffeine free coke for me to have this evening ! AIBU ?

Was he a complete divvy before you got pregnant, or is this a new thing?

Does he have any good points ?

I think before I was pregnant I would have just sorted things around the house myself, as for his mum he’s always taken her side x

The asking why you want the car seat in is normal. I’d ask why too, or say “ds leaked so can you I bring the car seat in please”.

But yeah, the rest of it he sounds inconsiderate and selfish, and should be looking after his heavily pregnant wife and doing heavy lifting to get the nursery sorted.

I was going to ask is he temporarily off his game or is this just a rough patch, but you seem to imply he's never been particularly proactive or helpful? If so, this may be who he is so you need to decide if you're okay with that. What is he doing with his time other than this favour for his mum? That can't take up every minute. Do you think he is willing to do his share with more information/direction?

I feel like if I ask him again to help me sort it it’s border line begging 🫣 xx

That's ridiculous? It's his life and his baby too! He's not helping you be a good mum, he's helping himself be the kind of dad who does... Something? Anything? My sister does this too. Jumps in to do everything herself first, wonders why no one is helping, says absolutely nothing about it, works even harder to do everything herself as though someone will help out as her reward.

So he was like this always, and yet you have another one with him? Smart move there. Same old same old on here.