AIBU to move to Switzerland? (Language)

[LangoLanguage]

Sorry for the long post. Myself and my husband have a 2 year old son and currently we live in London. I was born and raised in the UK and he was born and raised in Zurich and moved here for work.

We regularly go to Zurich often and have recently decided we would like to try and find jobs there and move there. In his industry this is quite common and he is a citizen so has all the passports etc, and for a while I’d be a SAHM. We have a lot of friends and nearly all family there.

We both naturally speak to my son in English, although we have been trying with German more and more. The state schools in Zurich are pretty great and we’d quite like to send him to one if we moved (as opposed to international school) and he’d start with a few days at age 3.

Is this a stupid idea? Sending him to school that speaks a language he doesn’t understand? Friends have said at this age they’re like sponges and absorb, but im
worried. This is also a future problem as we haven’t even moved!

I've known many children that have come to the UK without a word of English. I’ve never known one that wasn’t mostly fluent by the end of a year.

Ah that’s very reassuring. Do you know if their parents do anything in particular to help? I’m worried he’ll go to school and be so confused and not understand anything.

At his age he'll pick up the language quickly. It's a wonderful country and sounds great. Just ensure you future plan, don't be one of those families that moves abroad when the kids are young and then when they're older decide to move back, separating them from friends, routine, changing schools...etc.

I moved to Italy when my son was 5. We didn't speak Italian and had no family connection. It was all a bit random really! First thing I did was to put him into the local infants school. Within six months he was speaking pretty good Italian and after a year you would think he was a native.

He will be fine.

Most of the children actually end up helping their parents to learn English and/or translate for them.

A child’s brain is an amazing thing. You don’t need to worry.

You don't say if your husband was born in Switzerland to expat parents and grew up speaking English or if his mother tongue actually is German. If his mother tongue is German then he should be speaking German to him all the time, no excuses, no exceptions.

If he expects you to move to his country then he should be helping you learn by also only speaking to you in German.

It's totally feasible but only if you are all on board improving your German. Living in an expat bubble of English speakers will not be good in the long term.

He doesn’t expect me to do anything!!! If anything I’m driving the move.

Crikey, I can’t imagine trying to plan an international move with my DH if he decided to only speak to me in his native language (which I understand but not fluently)!

I think your DS will be fine though. Once you are there he will learn German quickly.

My ds was born in Germany, but we only spoke English at home. He went to Kindergarten at three and didn’t say a lot for three months, but when he did it was complete sentences. He then moved to primary school in Austria- no problems at all.

The sooner the better in terms of language acquisition. I did linguistics at uni- language absorption is best aged 2-3 and basically it’s downhill from there but it’s still very good up to age 9 or so then dramatically wanes, about the time that most kids in the uk start MFL lessons! 😔

I wouldn’t fret about your kid, but living in Switzerland is ridiculously, ruinously expensive so please check that out really carefully before moving.

It’s completely normal for many families in wales. Lots of parents don’t speak Welsh but send their kids to Welsh medium primaries at 3. Kids are fluent within a few years. They pick it up so quickly, especially when they’re young

Most children who start school without speaking the language of instruction will struggle for a few months and then start to speak. For some, these few months are really difficult and some find it very difficult to overcome that initial isolation. You could ask on 'International Mothers in Switzerland' on Facebook. You will get a range of responses and an idea of the benefits of living there as well as the challenges and how to navigate them.

What an amazing degree! So you don’t think starting with my husband just talking German at age 2 is too late?

Def not

The language will be fine for your child. A friend did a sabbatical in Iceland and her toddler was pretty much fluent in Icelandic by Christmas from nursery. I’d think very carefully about moving to Switzerland, though. How much time have you actually spent there?

We are in Ireland and we sent our kids off to an Irish language school with no Irish at 4 and 5. Fast forward 10+ years and they have done all of their education through Irish, they are both fluent and doing great.

A heck of a lot! Probably half a year pre DC in holidays there. We know it really well.

That’s amazing! Did you speak Irish at home?

Your DC will be fine. I would be more focused on how you would cope OP as you are probably at the biggest risk of becoming isolated. You have family and friends there which is a massive positive, but living somewhere is very different to visiting. It is not clear in your post about your language skills and how easy it will be for you to find a job. Only you know if being a SAHM in these circumstances would work for you. No offence meant to SAHMs, but being able to work and continue within my profession has always been very important to me and I know I would very isolated either in the UK or living elsewhere if this was not an option.

Obviously you know Zurich and have connections so you are well aware how expensive it is and the cultural differences. It is somewhere I have never warmed to and on reading your thread title, honestly I was flippantly going to reply 'hell no- boring AF and too expensive'. But that is me and my prejudice. Living abroad, in my opinion, usually has far more positives than negatives for adults and children if you have done your research. GOOD LUCK!

Is he German mother tongue? If so I would recommend he speaks German and you English to your child if so. You could still have English as your family language. So many families do this and it works really well.

Same with my kids but with Welsh. I don’t speak Welsh. dh does but we speak English at home. Kids went to Welsh medium school at 3, fluent by 5. Oldest doing GCSEs in Welsh next year.

I speak Hauptdeutsch (High German, as spoken in Germany) fluently, but Swiss German is another animal entirely. It is quite disconcerting in Switzerland because everyone understands me but I cannot understand them. And then people get shirty if I switch to English. It gets quite stressful.

My oldest hated when I spoke (Mexican) Spanish when she was two, the next year she was speaking fluent Dominican Spanish. 😂

Do you speak German? If not, time to start learning. Your son will probably pick it up easier than you. Your husband can start teaching him Schweizerdeutsche.

I found total immersion works best for me for language learning.