It's.a.friends wwyd

[Whenwillyoumakemyphonering]

Hello lovely people in my.phone
Long time lurker and occasional poster!

Dh & I have these friends, lets call them Ann & Paul, we've known them for around 10 years. Always had great times.with them, and other friends. They were always very generous with drinks etc. Over the years they have become difficult, more so since they took early retirement. Their visits to us have been stressful, we felt like babysitters constantly having to entertain them and he, Paul, has been rude to the point we decided to not host them again.

We now live over 6 hrs from them, we moved to be nearer my DSIS. This is relevant.

We are hosting a small get together with my DSIS & DBIL, there are 2 significant birthdays and a wedding anniversary. We havent invited Ann & Bill, our friends are all aware of this.
Today I recieved a text from Ann saying that they would love to come to the party, but would be leaving early the next day, WTAF they havent been invited.
DH thinks we should leave it and they won't come, but my DSIS and I think they need to be told. We gobsmacked they would think that they are invited without receiving an invite. DH says he hasn't been in touch with them since last April.

So lovely people in my phone how would you phrase a response to these CF's?
The response my sister and I put together is apparently far to rude to send!!

I'd send a text something along the lines of, sorry there's been crossed wires, this is a small gathering but you'd love to catch up next time you are back where ever they live.

Tell Ann there's been a mix up. You are having a small get together with another group of friends and think she must have got wires crossed somewhere.

How did they hear about it?

We don't know how they found out. The few friends we have invited claim not to have said anything, but there is a certain person who may have asked if they were going, although she is denying it!

Reply "I don't understand, what are you talking about?"

Sorry Ann, it's a very small, private gathering, mostly just family, which has already been organised and paid for. We have no spare places for you and Paul, but will perhaps catch up with you on another occasion.

@Hatty65 I think yours is the way to go, nothing to inflammatory but straight to the point as was @Chungai @Alwaystired23 & @MoistVonL (love the user name!)

@mulledjuice, I love this, but it would only have Paul on the phone to DH, and somehow they'd end up invited.

No. Not somehow. Only if you weren't firm with them. I don't understand why you can't just say they're not invited. Don't be a drip.

If you never want to see them again, you could just tell them that they're not invited and Paul's rudeness has gotten to the point that you no longer want to stay in contact.

I like hattys response god people really forward arent they!!

You just have to tell them straight, that you haven't got room as you are hosting others which is why they weren't invited. Keep it short & simple so it's clear that they can't come. Keep on repeating it until they get it

Sorry Ann, it seems you've heard some incorrect info. We're not having a party, just a small get together with some family. Won't be able to accommodate you both this time but must catch up soon.

Agree with @Hatty65 however it doesn’t acknowledge that you never sent the text so not to address it may make her think that next time she can use that same approach so I’d prefix the response with something like “Sorry Ann, I deliberately didn’t invite yourself and Bill as……insert @Hatty65 quote. Also, I wouldn’t add the ‘perhaps catch up with you on another occasion’ as to do right by them you should perhaps manage their expectations that there is nothing in the pipeline that you’ll likely be inviting them to by just ending ‘We have no more spaces left. I hope you can understand”. End of!

I agree with @MoominMai - add to Hattie's excellent message something that draws attention to the fact you didn't bloody inviter her, the presumptious mare.

I'm not sure about the "no spare spaces" in case whoever she heard about it via (the indiscreet thing) mentions someone not going so Ann reckons she and Paul/Bill can just take their slots.

Just tell them it’s a small gathering, and that they’re not invited as it’s only family.

Thank you all. I've handed it over to my Dsis, who is organising it, so I'm sure it won't be polite!
Sorry with the mix up of names my best friends parents are Anne & Bill and I got mixed up as I'm typing this at work! Many apologies