Only one child

[Lhuy]

I always wanted more. And to be honest I’ve found having ds a breeze. He’s 3.5 and I’m 39. I’ve only just got back into work and that’s now going well. DP hasn’t never been that hands on but he’s good fun with ds and earns well. We have a decent life.

I feel so conflicted. I would love a daughter and obviously that’s not guaranteed either. But then again I’ve just got some parts of my life back again and life is pretty easy with one!

In my heart of hearts I would love another bit I know dp wouldn’t do much and again it would be my career and life that halted. I also feel bad on ds being an only. Interested in what others did and why! And if you’re happy with an only?

You’re married to a Disney dad and you want another because you want a girl. They don’t seem like ideal conditions to have another baby.

I always wanted more than one but my ex was an absolute dick and didn’t lift a finger to help. It’s different with one child but there’s zero squabbling, DD and I are happy as we are.

The problem is when you have two you end up tag teaming with one doing baby and the other doing older child. So your dh will have to step up or your life will be v hard.

Have another if you genuinely want another - don’t think of the possible negatives of the situation

But - why d’you feel bad about your DS being an only ?

I know so many only child families where the ‘only’ turned out to be very confident, popular, independent in life so genuinely don’t understand why anyone would feel bad for having an only?

I’m so tired of these threads, people acting like only’s are freaks of nature or worse off, or emotionally stunted, just stop. They turn out like every other kid, sometimes unhappy sometimes happy. Sometimes you love your siblings sometimes you hate them. You can’t guarantee anything. Discuss it with your husband if you’re all on the same page great if you’re not then one it is. It sound like you’d be handling it all though. Your child will be fine if they are an only, they are a normal human being, being an only will not confer any particular benefits or any particular downsides, they’ve done studies, any bias is all implied and bollocks people make up in their heads. Do what is right for your family. (FYI I’m an only so is my child, we are both happy functioning humans and I get tired of the stereotyping bull shit)

I had one. It's great. She's 13 and thriving. My career is on track and dh has stepped up.

We have one child and know quite a few other one child families. Perfectly normal. I wouldn't be racing to have another child with a partner who "isn't hands on".

If you want another one, I'd do it sooner rather than later but be prepared to be a single mum who's ex has the kids every second weekend

Lots of women in your situation have the second one with the same guy so its all done, if that makes sense, so you wouldn't be alone

I'm one and done and feel happy about it. There are days when I think 'babies!!!!' 😄 but then dd starts playing with the bathroom taps (her new thing) and I thank God that it's just us 😄 xx

Have one if you want one, with the risk he won’t step up but he might (mine did get a lot more helpful when second turned 1, now a much better dad and husband).
But he might stay the same - can you cope? It is only a tough season and they are slightly easier when they listen more, can dress, get breakfast etc etc