Please encourage me

[Thunderpants88]

I feel in the absolute trenches with a 6 week old baby and three other children all under 6.

can someone please tell me I will survive the next few months? Baby doesn’t sleep well and is up for 3 hours every night. I am running on empty. Partner has been amazing. It goes back to work next week and I have no clue how I am going to manage with no naps and so sleep deprived.

I also feel quite tearful when I think of how much is on my plate and that I feel like I’m failing all the kids as they are all getting such a crappy exhausted slice of me

help :( from a very overwhelmed Mum

Oh bless you. I have nothing to offer. Hope this isn't a silly question,did you actually want 4 kids under 6
I had 4 kids in the days when maternity leave was 6 weeks after birth,and you had to work several years to accrue it,so mine were spaced out. I would say,grab any rest you can
Get the kids helping out, little tasks, fetching and carrying for mummy or the baby. Good luck.

I had 4 under 7...14 months between 3 and 4!! Is there a toddler buggy age? I got a decent twin buggy and walked every day until naps were in sync!!
Got an hour to myself then!

It will get better, it won’t be like this forever!!
Can you access any help from family, even in terms of cooking a few meals etc? Make sure you’re eating/ drinking enough.
Are your elder kids in nursery/ school?
Do whatever you need to get through the day, whether it’s CBeebies, putting a few hours childminding on a credit card, accepting that the house will look dreadful for a while, getting a takeaway whatever…
DH should also be working flexibly for a few weeks if he can. And also maybe asking him to leave some drinks/ snacks out before he leaves.
If baby is really unsettled you might try reducing/ eliminating dairy as all of mine were intolerant when young.

It WILL get better and you WILL get through it. You are absolutely not a failure as a mum at all.
Weirdly, I actually found it easier when DH went back to work. I got myself into a routine, I figured it out. If you have to put on the TV for a while, do it. Get the older ones to "help" out with much praise for being the big brother/sister (i.e can you fetch this for mum, can you tidy these away etc). Organise things the night before when DH is home. Easy lunches you can just get out of the fridge for example.
You will get through it ♥️

I’m the eldest of four. There’s a gap between me and the next one down, and then premature twins who were born 13 months after No 2. My mum was completely on her own. No family near by and a violent and abusive husband who refused to have anything to do with us on the occasions he was in the house. On benefits because he refused to hand over any of his self employed income or let us anywhere near his car. So no money for anything and lots of walking to get anywhere.

You absolutely will survive and, what’s more, you are not failing any of them.

Get the eldest one to help you. Obviously, a roast dinner will be beyond them, but helping to tidy, gathering dirty washing and putting it in the basket, occupying the babies and playing with them, etc, won’t hurt them. None of them will know the difference in how much of you they’re getting because they won’t know any different.

Hang in there OP, you’re in the middle of one of the hardest times. But it will get better, it won’t be like this forever (and you’re not alone in how you feel, so many of us have been there, even though it feels like you’re on your own). Good luck and keep on going x x

you can do this, remember everything changes so quickly.
I've got a 10 week old (baby3) and feel like I have been horrible to my older two and my husband - shouty, short tempered and just not who I usually am, it's hard being sleep deprived but I feel like I'm starting to get a grip on it after the Easter hols and a bit more routine comes into play Im hoping it helps every one. I hope it does for you too x

Awh thanks all I have saved this great to come back to when I need reminded and encouraged that we will get through it all one way or another