To not go to school playgrounds/kids places during school holidays/weekends

[HJA87]

EDIT: the title should just say “playgrounds” not “school playgrounds”.

I’m currently a SAHM and just been to the park with my kids which was completely deserted apart from
mums with newborns/v young babies in prams. I’m guessing 99% of toddlers/preschoolers are in childcare. Made me realise how awful (busy) playgrounds etc are during school holidays/weekends/after 3 PM. AIBU to avoid kids spaces at weekends/school holidays?

I don’t really understand why you have asked the question.

Why would it be unreasonable to avoid somewhere when it was busy?

Because my kids sometimes ask to go during the busy times.

Could it be that you're a bit bored, OP, and that's why you're asking this question?
Who has ever called someone unreasonable for not going to busy places?
Why would you doubt that?

My guess is you don't actually doubt it and are just looking for people to engage with. Are you okay?

Yes I don’t really see how this is an AIBU situation? How would it ever be unreasonable to go somewhere when it’s less busy if you have the choice?

If you have school children then you have no choice (unless you don't want to ever take them to those places).

If you have pre-school children, then (school holidays excepted) surely you will mainly be going to those places during the day?

It's an odd question.

So you don’t want to go when they’re deserted but you don’t want to go when they’re busy? I’m not sure I answer you question.

I think this can be very area-specific. Round me the playground were never dead during the day (I was a SAHM till Dd was 2), always a few people around - but travel a couple of miles away and they’d be deserted.

Ok.

No it isn’t unreasonable to not to exactly what your kids want, at the time they want to do it.

And you never say "no" to your children?

I think it would be odd to never go to those places during weekends and school holidays, but it's pretty normal to avoid busy periods if you have a choice.

I like it when it’s quiet. I don’t like going when it’s busy but I feel bad saying no if my kids ask to go during those times.

Are your kids not in any childcare? I think it’s ok to not always do what your kids want but a bit unfair to never go to a playground on a weekend. If they don’t go to childcare then they need to learn about queueing for equipment/ ice creams / toilets and generally socialising with other children.

For goodness sake. If you don’t want to go at certain times just don’t go! I agree that going when they’re overrun with kids just released from school is miserable if you’re not part of that crowd.

Things my children have asked me
-to have more sweets
-to go out 5 minutes before dinner
-to not go to school
-to go out wearing last night's pyjamas
-to stay up later
-to watch more TV

I think you need to work on your assertive parenting. "No children, we're not going to the park after school because it's full of the big children and we won't be able to get on the play equipment". or just "no, not today. Shall we build a den in the garden?"

No, they are not in childcare and we go to the park often during the week. They also go to classes with other children for socialising.

How old are they?

Actually, ignore me. You seem to be a recent account that does nothing but bash mothers who aren’t SAHMs and who use childcare.

I’ll leave you to it.

It depends. You don't always have to do what they want but you can compromise. I don't always enjoy going to our local playground after school pick up, especially in summer when it's heaving. But I still take them when they ask because it keeps them happy, they're outdoors with friends, getting exercise and not on ipads. It makes our evenings calmer too.

It's perfectly normal and very sensible for SAHMs to take preschoolers to the playground during school hours when they can use the equipment without the bigger kids dominating.

But it's pretty unusual not to let your children go to the playground at all at the weekend or for the 6 weeks of the summer holiday. Playgrounds near schools get busy at 3pm on a school day, sure, but are they really unmanageably busy all day long on Saturday and Sunday and right the way through August? It does seem a shame to keep your children at home every weekend and for every school holiday

Also, children find it fun and exciting to be around other children. A deserted playground can be a bit boring compared to one where there are other people to play with. And it's important for them to socialise with other children in a free play environment (not just in a structured class, which is very different).

But it's up to you. You don't have to do something just because your children want to.

I obviously say no to my children a lot especially when it comes to things that are dangerous (eg climbing furniture), unhealthy (food), nuisance to others (noise) etc. But this feels like saying no just cause it’s not my preference (I don’t think they minds when it’s busy, at least my eldest doesn’t).

Thank you for answering my question. How organised are these classes? Do they get much freedom to run around and meet new people? I used to take dd1 to a music class when she was a toddler and dd2 to a couple of gym / sports classes but they were all organised and dc largely did what the instructor said, while having fun. I do think kids need to have a bit more freedom so when mine were toddlers we would sometimes do noisy parks and soft plays at the weekend.

Aww
That's a kind response and not something many would see/say.

You sound a nice empathic person

If you don’t want to go to the park then you shouldn’t have had kids. It goes with the territory I’m afraid. Yes sure you don’t have to say yes every time they ask, but you can’t rule out huge swathes of time (basically the whole summer holidays) because you don’t like being surrounded by lots of people. You’ve just got to suck it up. Kids need to go to the park, it’s what they do.

I know I’ve asked If IBU but I think this is taking it a bit far 😆 arguably my kids have more opportunities to be at the park (even if we exclude school holidays etc) than those in childcare/school full time so would you say those with kids in those places shouldn’t have has kids because they’re working and therefore not taking them to the park?

What do you plan to do when your DC start school - will you never take them to the park, playgrounds etc in the holidays or at weekends as it might be busy?

But being a parent (at least to pre-school children) is almost entirely forcing your preferences on them.
They eat the food you choose to give them.
They wear the clothes you choose to buy them.
They have the toys that you've given them.
They do the activities that you're prepared to take them to.

Yes, they can choose to wear the blue top or the red top, but if you have a hatred of dungarees, then they don't have any in their wardrobe.

You don't want to go to the park when it's busy. They don't go to the park.
You don't want your child to go to mums and tots swimming because you don't want to be seen in pubic in a swimming costume. They don't go to swimming.
You don't like going out in the rain. You don't do it.

Yes, it's useful to examine whether your preference is having a negative impact on your children.
If you, for example, were saying, I don't like going out when it's busy, so during the 6 week summer holiday, my children will never leave the house, I think that's worth questioning. But "I prefer to go to popular parks on weekdays during the day and will go to other places when the parks are busy". Not so much.

Well, that’s clearly what YOU think, judging by your posting history.