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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my husband has feelings for someone else

7 replies

Daydreamer94 · 24/04/2025 20:12

So this will sound strange but it has been eating away at me for years. I met DH in country A where he is from, we did long distance and then got married and he moved here.

He is very close to his cousin and cousins wife and I in turn became close with them too. But his closeness with the wife is what gets me. She is about 7 years older than us.

When we have been alone, me, my husband and her it seems that she always is trying to be close to my husband. Case in point her and my DH sitting together on the sofa basically glued to eachother and me on the other side. DH showing her something on his phone and her holding his hand the whole time. Her resting her foot on DH foot etc. All subtle if you are not looking but making me feel uncomfortable. One evening when we were visiting it got late and she kept suggesting i go to bed, never said it once to DH.

I have confessed my thoughts to DH and he thinks I am crazy. He admits they are close but they are just friends and that nothing has happened.

I am not sure how to feel, me and her get on really well also just to add.

Am I just being paranoid? Or is my gut telling me something?

OP posts:
Dinosweetpea · 24/04/2025 20:14

Yeah, that's weird & inappropriate.

TheHappyBug · 24/04/2025 20:15

Seems like she has feelings for him more than the other way round. Your husband needs some boundaries!

Huhuhuhu39272 · 24/04/2025 20:16

I wouldn’t accept this is all I can say. I also wouldn’t believe their story.

Olika · 24/04/2025 20:16

Weird and inappropriate especially as they don’t sound to be doing it when his cousin is around.

PopThatBench · 24/04/2025 20:20

I know somebody from where I live (small town) whose best friend and partner were sleeping together behind her back… they even went “missing” upstairs at her baby shower! The man’s baby shower!

It all came to light blah blah and the couple split up, the best friend was shunned and they never even wanted to be “together”, they just wanted the “risky side sex”.

I wouldn’t trust anybody being that touchy feely around my partner to then tell
me to go to bed? I’d be telling her where the front door is and then I’d be having serious words with my partner.

If your partner keeps dismissing your concerns, unfortunately they’re either true or he just enjoys the attention and doesn’t want you to ruin it.

Vanishedwillow · 24/04/2025 20:23

Trust your gut. Don’t let him gaslight you. Be firm, respect yourself, and make sure he does too.

arcticpandas · 24/04/2025 20:24

Go sit close up to his brother so he'll get the point.

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